Parenting question please?

Question

Well, today me and my Son were at my Mother-in-Law's House. My Son was playing around her Christmas tree and I was watching him when all of sudden my Son grabbed a glass ornament and thru it on the floor braking it. It happened so quick that I wasn't able to prevent it even though I was watching him at the same time. My Mother-in-Law comes running and starts making a big deal telling me that I need to be a good Mother and teach my son NO. (My Son is 14 months) which I already do but it all happened so fast. She also told me that to not let him do whatever he wants in other people's homes and only in ours. I totally agree with that statement but I think she went a little overboard with insinuating that I'm not a good Mom because my Son broke one of her ornaments. She also claimed that he could have got seriously injured as well. When I offered to sweep up the mess she said No and that she's only one who can clean it right. Who's right and who's wrong?

Plus, my Mother-in-Law has had many accidents with my Child. As a matter of fact, my Son fell out of his play pin while she was taking a shower yesterday. What's the deal here?

Answer 1

She was absolutely out of line to say that you are a bad mother because your 14-month-old son broke an ornament. That's ridiculus. Especially when he has gotten hurt in her care.... what does that make her? What's worse? She claims he could have gotten "seriously injured" by the ornament.... I think falling out of a play pen is a little worse, lol.

Answer 2

You are, Perhaps she has forgotten how fast a toddler can be, or she is one of those people who thinks shes better than everyone else. However some people can be really picky about their houses and belongings. I am so lucky my in laws don't act like this or I would never take the kids over. She doesn't sound like someone who should be watching him either, he can get a lot more seriously injured from a fall than a little broken ornament. If she cant make sure your child is safe, and is going to freak every time he touches something I wouldn't have him alone with her. But hey, maybe she just needs some time to relax, anger or stress management classes so she doesn't snap at everyone.

Answer 3

There is no way to stop some things from happening. I have 2 1/2 year old twin sons and they have broken 1 ornament off the tree so far and tried to steal candy canes off of it, with me in the same room as well!! It's all new to them and they are curious. Your son at his age is even harder....he is very curious and probably thought that shiney thing was neat and wanted to check it out better. Your mother in law over reacted, i think. Accidents happen and kids are walking accidents!! As for your son getting injured while in grandmas care, that also was probably an accident, and can't really blaim grandma. Either way, your mother in law didn't need to insult your parenting. She was probably just upset the ornament was broken. I wish ya luck with that one. I dont much care for my husbands mother, but i try my best to keep the peace because we are all stuck with each other! haha Good luck!

Answer 4

There are houses where children live and houses where children just visit. When you and your children visit any homes where children just visit, the child should either be in the arms of a responsible adult or in a crib/playpen. Children of this age should NOT be "playing around the Christmas tree" at all. Christmas trees with breakable ornaments are not appropriate for young children, so the child should not have been anywhere near the tree.
Since your MIL's house is not kept "child ready", the child needs to be limited to appropriate areas to sleep and play by his parent (You). Expecting a 14-month-old to respond appropriately to a verbal NO may be inappropriate, so other measures must be substituted to keep the child safe. You and your MIL need to agree about spaces in her house where your son can roam as he will.
Regardless of who's right, the right thing to do is for the parent to enforce boundaries using methods that work for that child.

Answer 5

I would say that you are completely in the RIGHT! and she is in the WRONG. I understand the whole disipline thing but to say that you are not a good mother because he broke something is totally insane. Your son is 14 months old, of course he is going to get into things. He is a CHILD!! Maybe you should explain that to your mother-in-law. He didn't mean to break her ornament, he was being curious. Yes, he could have gotten hurt, but anything like that should not be in a 14month olds reach anyway. Good Luck.

Answer 6

In my opinion, you're both wrong.

Well, if your son is at the grabby stage, perhaps you should have kept him out of arms reach of the tree. Seeing as how you know how fast kids can be. A pre-emptive maneuver.

Not that your MIL was right to fly off the handle, but perhaps it was a special ornament or she'd been having a bad day or something else. I was in your MILs position with a broken item but then I was blamed for putting it out where a child could reach it. My house was child free and shouldn't have to child-proof it in case someone comes with kids.

As to him having accidents while with her, if you don't trust her to care for him, then don't let him be with her unsupervised.

Answer 7

She shouldn't have cried over a replaceable ornament. She is just wanting you to feel bad. I know how babies are. You can be watching them like a hawk and how they are so quick they can get into anything, grab stuff so fast before you can even get up.

I would not even want my son around someone like that. I would not want to go back around her if it was me.

She sounds like a person that just loves to put people down. I am sure you are a good mom so don't let anyone make you feel or think you aren't.
Babies to not know any better, my god he is 14 months old. She needs to take a chill pill. It might would be different if you weren't even watching him but you were so don't let her life upset you.

Answer 8

mother in laws almost always over react to every little thing. Your son is 14 months old... and you were watching him... so in actuality she has no right to tell you anything about being a bad mother and about teaching him no. He is only 14 months old and it takes time to learn no. And plus toddlers are fast... you never see it coming. I wouldn't worry about her and just ignore her. And if she was suppose to be watching him while he was in his play pen then she shouldn't have been showering, i would have called her a bad parent in law, who showers and lets children fall out of things....

Answer 9

If she wants your son to come over and visit she needs to baby proof the house!! When my sons were this age all the ornaments were up high on the tree so they could not reach them. If she does not want to baby proof her house invite her to come and spend time at your house were it is baby proofed.

She is overreacting.

Answer 10

Of course she flew off the handle. It's unfortunate that it was something glass that had to break, but at this age, kids not only touch everything, but learn by touching and exploring. Could he have gotten hurt? Yes, if you weren't watching him.

Maybe because she wasn't a great parent, she's armchair quarterbacking as a grandparent. I'd say ignore her. But if she keeps it up, say, "It really hurts my feelings when you insinuate that I'm a bad mother." Crazy people like that respond well to being direct and using your "feeling words."