Can anyone help me understand why a boyfriend would turn his girlfriend down?

Question

This is embarrassing but I can't stop thinking about it and it is really bothering me. Please no mean answers I just need some advice. Yesterday I asked my boyfriend to be intimate with me and he turned me down. He said he didn't want our relationship to be "just about sex." We really don't even do it that often. Should I read more into this? I felt very hurt and rejected. Maybe I am not attractive enough for him? Maybe I was too forward? Guys if you could answer this I'd appreciate it, and girls I'd like to hear what you think too. How would you feel if your boyfriend turned you down for it and how would you deal with it? I feel kind of awkward and uncomfortable around him now. If the reason he gave is the real reason, that's not so bad. I think I am just worried it's something more. This has never happened to me before. Any advice? Thank you for your help :-)

Answer 1

My question is, what happened after you he said no? I'm thinking not much, since you have a lot of questions about why? Maybe he wasn't in the mood. We can get like that too. I wouldn't read too much into his answer. Have you recently or ever turned him down when he's asked? If so, then maybe he's miffed. Either way, if you ask him again and he has another excuse, then something is wrong and you should talk about it.

Answer 2

You know what the same thing happened to me when I was dating the man that I later married (big mistake). He used the same similar excuse. It's not that you are not attractive but maybe you not attractive to him. What man doesn't want to have sex anyway they can get it. Think about it. We have so many men going around masquerade as bi or gay. He should tell you the truth about himself instead of giving you that weak excuse. That was the same thing I said when it happened to me, I have never heard of such and I discuss this with some of my male friends and the concluded that he was gay because no guy usually turns down sex from a girlfriend especially. However, the downside could be that he's not gay and just not interested. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Yes, it could be alot of negative things happening behind what he said. The problem is not the fact that he said no once, the problem should be if he continues to say no or not persue it at all. Then you have to consider yourself in this realtionship. Don't blame yourself on what someone else wants to do or how someone else wants to act. You could be the prettiest gurl in the world and they will still be acting funny. As far as advice, just wait awhile and if he is not satisfing that side of you then maybe you can talk to him about it or even go find someone else

good luck :-)

Answer 4

I've never run into this problem. Sit him down and talk to him about it could be stress from somewhere other than you, maybe someone said something to him that's got him worried.

I wish just once my wife would initiate sex

Answer 5

well i have actually said that before. sex is good and great and its fun when your with someone you love. but its not everything. by him saying that its one of two things and im leaning toward the fist one. 1) he wants to spend more time with you cuddling and talking and doing things that are fun and just yall. 2) hes cheating and getting it from somewhere else and he dont want to get it a couple of times a day. but i would say one.

Answer 6

Maybe he thinks its not the right time for the move. Just take it slowly and see what happens in the future. There is a time for everything.

Answer 7

i know that this might sound very far fetched, but guys have their moments when they don't wanna be bothered with sex. i am sure it has nothing to do with you, but just in case you better talk to him!!

Answer 8

Maybe he was wearing dirty underwear, or just finish pleasing himself, and he was done for a while.