i love her to death but she really cant afford to buy her dress or shoes how do i unask her
2006-12-12 09:02:23 · 24 answers · asked by katiesducky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ok I've been down the same road. Hell Im stuck on it!! But you as the bride are only responsible for YOUR attire. Not theirs. And whoever told you that you had to buy all the BS attire is on crack lol. The birde and groom have enough to pay 4! But just explain to her that with all the other wedding costs that you can't afford her stuff too (not that u should!) See if you can find a cheaper dress (I did that b/c of the same kinda thing) And in the end if she's mature enough and knows that you still love her then she should understand. Sorry if this is no help. Good luck though!
2006-12-12 09:22:29 · answer #1 · answered by Halley G 1 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Maybe she will step down from the position since she can't afford a dress and stuff, or maybe you should ask the other bridesmaid to help her out. Or you can even help her out a little. But don't unask her. Thats too mean.
2006-12-12 18:43:38 · answer #2 · answered by Mz.H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about you choose a dress that's affordable? Target actually came out with a line of quality party dresses that are $50 or less and are of good quality. No one needs to know they're from Target but you! It won't take away from the day...what really matters is that you're with the people you love - and you won't be if you give your poor bridesmaid the boot.
Get rid of the bridezilla routine, and think about your bridesmaid's feelings - you know, the girl you love to death. You'll regret it if you kick her out.
2006-12-12 19:54:46 · answer #3 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is EXTREMELY rude to demote a bridesmaid for ANY reason (unless she does something truly horrible like burn your house down or murder your pet)!
Polite brides subtly and quietly make arrangements to pay for the things for their "broke bridesmaid." Or maybe she can pay you back a year from now or you can pay half and half.
The impotant thing is that she participates as a bridesmaid because you love her.
About 10 years ago, I was someone's "broke bridesmaid" and the bride paid for my dress and shoes. Everyone goes through money troubles at different times in their life. Are you going to prioritize money over decency and friendship?
2006-12-12 19:51:12 · answer #4 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is so unsensitive of you, You should have considered her financial situation before asking her. With that said...
You can tell that the bridal party will be wearing the same attire and if she can't afford it, then you are giving her the option of stepping down and that it wouldn't hurt your feelings at all. Tell her that you can honor her friendship in another way, such as, being an honorary BM, without walking down the aisle or having to dress up, and that she can participate in all the Bridal party activities such as bachelorrete party, bridal shower, and rehearsal dinner.
You should offer to help her with the costs of the dress or offer a suitable alternative, but nixing her completly could offend your dear friend.
Good luck
2006-12-12 17:11:02 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
you might try sharing the expense with the other bridesmaids, this way you wont have to offend your friend by un asking her to be in your wedding. its a tough situation any way you look at it. don't look for the reason that she may not be able to afford the dress, but look at all the positive reasons why she should be part of your wedding party,
2006-12-12 17:47:06 · answer #6 · answered by jh452004 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answer. If you "loved her to death" you'd offer to buy her shoes/dress for her.
I'm going to attempt to do that for my bridesmaid's/MOH for my wedding.
2006-12-12 20:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you asked her to be your bridesmaid then I guess you are pretty close to the person. I'd say be up front and honest with her. My sister has been a brides maid twice (never a bride lol). She complained a lot about how much her dress and shoes cost. Pretty loudly too. lol
I'd say be honest. Tell her that you didn't relize that things would cost so much & that you wouldn't be upset if she wanted to step down and not be brides maid. Let her know that it is up to her. This will take pressure off you and put it in her hands. If says something like, "You mean you don't want me to be a bridesmaide?" Then tell her that you would love for be one of your bridesmaids but it is going to hurt her pocketbook then you can feel free not to be one.
Hope this helps.
2006-12-12 17:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by Faith 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
well,id see if there's any way around unasking her... but its up to you. really, a bridesmaid's money matters should be considered first. Why don't you talk to her and find out exactly what she can handle money wise, and go from there. if she knows she can't handle it, or if you know she can't, allow her to do something else important instead....like do a reading or something.
2006-12-12 17:12:57 · answer #9 · answered by Marines<3Girl 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
did she say that she cant afford the dress?
why didnt you think about that before you asked her?
and if you love her to death why cant you pay for the dress?
2006-12-12 21:08:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋