My friend has been dating her boyfriend for over 6 years now and she told him that she wants to marry him that was about 2 years ago. He told her he wasn't ready for marriage so she waited and waited about 8 months later she told him again she wanted to get married and still he said he was scared and not ready for marriage. Now she recently told him she needs a break from the relationship because she just feels they're not heading in the same direction and he tells her he was planning to purpose at christmas when both families would be together. she doesn't believe this she's thinking what if he only said he was going to purpose because she said she needed time.
So there is the story. If this was your friend and she came to you with this story what would you tell her? She is reaching out for help but I have no idea what to tell her. What would you say?
2006-12-12 08:49:02 · 7 answers · asked by Help Me! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We're not talking about a jerky loser guy he's a really nice sweet guy who's always been there for her. He treats her the way a man is suppose to treat a woman. His only problem is he hasn't been on the same road as her with the marriage thing.
She's great too she takes care of her son (not his son) she's in school pursuing her bachelors degree she works. She's great with family and friends. She loves him and he loves her so it seems from where I stand.
2006-12-12 09:00:19 · update #1
He had lots of time to get his act together. At this point your friend wants time to re-evaluate where she is going in the relationship and her own life, she should take that time. To resume the relationship because he claims that he was "planning" to propose doesn't seem to be a valid reason.
2006-12-12 08:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by cumberland_corndog 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aghh. That's sad, but seriously I think your friend should move on. He may be a great guy, but it sounds like he's a great guy who doesn't want to get married. And if your friend does she needs a new guy. I bet he was *thinking* about proposing at Christmas. I'll also bet that he's been *thinking* about proposing for two years... and yet it hasn't happened. Has he bought a ring? I doubt it! How will it be when he pops the question but then he doesn't want to set a date? Really, I know it's sad, but some guys just can't do the committment thing. And an ultimatum is not a good thing. It might get her what she wants in the short term, but in the long term he's not going to be a happily married guy if he feels like he was forced into it.
2006-12-12 17:57:22 · answer #2 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's about to lose her, he'll PROPOSE now, not wait until Christmas. I've never been in that position myself, but I have to wonder about a guy who had his chance for over two years, & then steps up when things start to turn against him.
I think she would be doing the right thing if she moved on, & found a guy who is less hesitant about marriage.
2006-12-12 16:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend in a similar situation. If she loves him i think she should give him a chance. 6 years is alot of time together. Maybe, she could talk to him and express that she doesn't want him to purpose based on she needed a break from the relationship. Maybe he realized what a wonderful thing he was going to lose. Good Luck.
2006-12-12 17:06:33 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer c 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She should definately sees what happens on Christmas Day. It will be a clear display of how serious he is with her if he keeps his word. I t is however also very important to keep in mind how the marriage would affect both of their lives. Whether it be with maturity, finances, religion and bliss. Wishing her luck in her decision.
2006-12-12 17:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia-Joan 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell her to do Christmas with him and see what happens. If nothing, then she should walk.
2006-12-12 16:52:16 · answer #6 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go for it girl. he is fair game. and you know he already has a ring
2006-12-12 16:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by william b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋