Can sexual chemistry be cultivated or is it something that's either there or not?

Question

I really like this girl, but sometimes the chemistry is just a little off, have you guys ever been able to "Cultivate" chemistry or is it just something we have no control of?

Answer 1

It isn't simply a matter of it's there or not. Sometimes, NRE (new relationship energy) creates a "chemistry" that is relatively easily defeated by the passage of time and/or the getting to know each other better. Sometimes, the nervousness of starting a new relationship hides the chemistry. And, sometimes, when you get more comfortable with each other the chemistry blossoms - as in when friends become lovers.

Sexual chemistry can be cultivated by allowing yourself and this girl you really like to just get to know each other - by doing fun stuff, by not putting on the pressure, and by giving the relationship a chance to develop.

I know that isn't the 'romantic' perspective - but think of all the people who married and were passionately in love only to end up miserable. Then how about all the people who started out on what appeared to be the wrong foot and yet came together in a strong fashion.

It could be that it is "sometimes a little off" because of nervousness *or* because she really isn't the right person for you. One of the ways for you to begin figuring this out is to ask yourself questions such as: "What exactly do I like about this person?" [If the answer is ONLY about the physical, rethink how much you like vervus lust her.] Another question to ask yourself is how nervous you are around her - the more nervous you are, the more it it likely to contribute to the "off" stuff. Yet another one to ask is how your *trusted* friends like her. (pay attention to the trusted part of that sentence). If people you like to hang around with, that you share values and interests with don't like this girl, you would be well advised to re-evaluate how well she fits into your life.

Also, sexual chemistry increases the safer the situation feels for most folks.

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Nope, for me its either there or its not. Ive had chemistry with men I normally wouldn't chose to date and tried to have chemistry with guys I wanted it with. Its either there or its not.

Answer 3

i think both. because i married my best friend and I think it was something that had to grow on the both of us cause we would never have thought of having sex in high school, now that we're married were popping out kids like rabbits.

Answer 4

its there or its not... if it suddenly appears later, its fake

Answer 5

its fake