My boyfriend wanted a chid, then was over joyed when I got pregnant we told our families and set a wedding date. Then he said the day after "now we know we can have children have an abortion". We then finished I have moved on and he has moved away and I have no idea where he is living he refuses to pay for the baby but want access to the child whenever suits him and refuses to attend mediation. He has never paid a penny dispite being asked and spends on expensive skiing holidays and wastes it on fancy cars, he's 34 and gave up his £65k a year job (just so I don't get anything). Luckily I don't want it or care. But surely when someone does not have any responsibility and has run from it they no longer have any rights over the most precious thing in the world to you.
I am still in touch with his family on a weekly basis, it is just the father who has been totally selfish.
2006-12-12 08:24:25 · 10 answers · asked by oceanwaves 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is a contol freak and he feel he should pay as I have money and my family does.
2006-12-12 08:33:35 · update #1
should not in the last bit not should pay sorry
2006-12-12 08:34:50 · update #2
my ex is just the same. he jumped ship when i was pregnant. havent seen him since. if his name isnt on the birth certificate he has next to no rights. if he wanted to see your child he'd have to apply to the courts for a care contact order. which would be granted but he would have to be suprvised by a social worker, and from the sounds of it i dont think he'd go to all that effort. my ex has never paid child support. but because he owes me 8grand the CSA are sending in the baliffs so hes pretty much screwed right now. i hope everything works out for you
2006-12-12 08:45:47 · answer #1 · answered by suziebeth1983 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry you have had to go through this. It sucks.
He told you to get an abortion, then abandoned you and the baby. Period end of story. Since you were not married at the time he has no legal right to the child. He could try to fight it in court with the whole "I made a mistake and the DNA" issue. I seriously doubt a sober judge would rule in his favor. A good judge will recognize the situation as it is, and rule accordingly.
Finally, keep that asshole away from your child- he has nothing to teach it that will be of use in a good and healthy life.
Find a single mom's support group and hang with the ladies who truly know what you are going through.
Good Luck!
2006-12-12 16:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by darrellkern 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In order to protect yourself in future years, I would suggest you make contact with your social worker and make a record of events up until now! It wall definately help you should you have any future battles. As far as I know,he is not paying maintenance, he is not providing for his child, and therefore his visitations are entirely up to you! You are the sole provider and therefore the decissions regarding your child,are yours and yours alone. Its a tough one with the law though, as fathers do have rights, but if it camedown to the crunch, I think you have alot more in your favour especially since he doesn't pay!! I reckon if you make enquiries and get things moving your side , you would be able to lay down the rules for the father. Don't wait for him to start because then lies suddenly become his truth if you know what I mean. Your child will eventually want to know who father is ... and the truthful option is always the best! He doesn't pay he doesn't say!! I think you are right in keeping contact with the childs grandparents .... they too must surely see?? I wish you luck, but please seek help from professionals!
2006-12-12 16:40:37 · answer #3 · answered by lynne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't grown up yet. Maybe never will. I wouldn't let him see the child until he paid child support. He is in contempt, which you are too if you don't let him see the child even though he doesn't pay child support. You can contact his employeement or have social services do it and they can deduct money from his check and send it to you. Or you can have him sign all his parental rights over. Why doesn't his family pay since he want?
2006-12-12 16:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you're from the UK.If this is the case and you were never married to him then he has absolutely NO PARENTAL RIGHTS whatsoever.He could however try to take you to court to try to get some sort of access to your child but depending on the circumstances then he might not get anywhere with that either.Best of luck with everything and don't let the b****** grind you down!
2006-12-12 16:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by twinkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for the trouble you are having, but you can get his rights severed thru the court system. If he was only your boyfriend, HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS, until he is proven the father with a blood test. And you must be a great person to allow your ex to spend time with him. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-12-12 17:06:46 · answer #6 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just Like the biological father of my first he has no rights, however its probably diffrent for you as you married him where as i did not marry the father of my first , a lucky way out for me from an abusive partner but in my view if they never pay for a child nor even visit thier own blood in a matter of years the law should change that they forfiet thier rights as a parent.
2006-12-12 17:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Trudy Joy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cuz dads are ssshole ok well not all bu t a lot moms can be too hey at least he's not a control freak likje my dad always butting into u and ur kids businesses and where are u guys siiiggghh if all the asshole parents would just go away but bak to ur question take him to court if he doesn't pay
2006-12-12 16:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by mamama 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you expect when you have left wing feminists running the family courts and the CPS. Don't expect them to give men a fair shake.
2006-12-12 17:04:31 · answer #9 · answered by Veritas 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he loses rights when he is a drug addict.
2006-12-12 16:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋