Oprah Winfrey once said it is importent to forgive, as it is a way to help rid the hurt done to you, but people misunderstand forgiveness. People think that by forgiving, say a friend, who hurt them means they have to include that friend 'back to the dining table'. What do you think?
2006-12-12 08:22:31 · 19 answers · asked by blanche 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I think you should forgive them in your heart, so your heart can heal. You do not have to put your heart back out there for them to stomp on and take advantage of. Just because you have forgiven someone does not mean you have to be friends with that person.
2006-12-12 08:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sunspot Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions have consequences. I believe that forgiveness does not mean the relief of all punishment - it simply means that I no longer hold an action directly against you.
Reconcilliation is about bringing that friend "back to the table." Reconcilliation STARTS with forgiveness. But it must also include repentance on the part of the person who "hurt" you. If they do not turn from the behavior that caused the problem, you can forgive them all day long without bringing about reconcilliation.
Hurts also have consequences. If you kill my brother, it doesn't matter how much I forgive you, or how much you repent, my brother is still dead. That's the nature of the universe. It doesn't mean that there can't be forgiveness or reconcilliation, it just means that our actions have "permanent" consequences.
2006-12-12 16:29:31 · answer #2 · answered by jbtascam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oprah was right. U see i believe forgiveness is something that should involve the heart. U should forgive someone whole hearted and not have anything against them. But as for inviting them back to your diner table, that i do not agree with. U see one bitten should be twice shy. If that person is in trouble help them out because after all u do not wish any bad upon them but keep them at arms length when all is good.
2006-12-12 17:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by longer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness.... TRUE forgiveness... can be a very difficult thing. It is both an action and a state of mind.
At the bottom of things, forgiveness is setting free any and all emotions that the action has incited that bind us to anger and hurt. Letting go like that is very hard. Resentment, pain of betrayal, anger, sadness... these are all powerful emotions.
And then there's dealing with the person who hurt us. One thing to remember is that forgivness doesn't let someone off the hook. It doesn't wipe away the past, it doesn't erase the consequences of an action. You can forgive a person but still choose not to have him or her in your life because he or she isn't a good influence.
2006-12-12 16:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Bible teaches us to be more God like, which means forgive and forget; so yes it means inviting them back into your life.
Of course, this really only applies with family who have a natural born right to be included in your life in the first place.
It's ok to ignore an ex that has hurt you, but yes you should forgive them for the hurt and not stalk them forever after.
God Bless!
2006-12-12 16:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like to say we can forgive, and must, to be happy. However, that does not mean we must or can forget!
Some people we might let back to the table, others not. The latter is a matter of personal discretion based on the overall comfort level of the forgiven.
Charles "That Cheeky Lad"
None the less...A Wicked Happy Christmas to everyone!
Peace and prosperity to all!
2006-12-12 16:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is not yours to withold especially when you get ready to ask God for forgiveness. You do have a right that if a person refuses to change then you can change your interaction with them. But always be ready to reconcile with them.
After the Lord's model of prayer in Matthew 6, it reads like this:
14For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Also we have the ministry of reconciliation as shown here:
2nd Corinthians Chapter 5
18All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19that is, in Christ God was reconciling[b] the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
Therefore we cannot hold grudges against anyone. Quote God, not Oprah or any other person. It is their opinion. What God says is truth.
2006-12-12 16:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by hello T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Total forgiveness must include complete reconciliation
Refusal to forgive harms you more thatn the person or persons not being forgiven
That refusal makes you a victim of your own inability to let go.
Why be a victim when forgiving others will set you free?
2006-12-16 16:10:48 · answer #8 · answered by alan h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness means releasing them from the debt they owe you because of their trespass against you. It has nothing to do with forgetting. It doesn't mean you will be a doormat for more abuse or whatever it is, but if you truly forgive you won't throw it back in their face , either.
2006-12-12 16:30:45 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Psychologists say that the best way to get on in life is to apply the "Nice tit for tat theory". It goes like this.... if someone does something to you that you don't like, you immediately withdraw your friendship (or whatever). But.... when they do something nice again you immediately drop all sanctions and resume cordial relations. That way, you don't get taken advantage of (in a bad way) too much but you are always available to take advantage of nice overtures/relationships.
I reckon forgiveness is covered nicely by that. Since I've taken up that attitude I've had no problem with any kind of dilemma regarding forgiveness.
2006-12-12 16:29:53 · answer #10 · answered by Older&Wiser 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋