how do i get my 16 yrold daughter to understand that i use to be 16 too so i know what she is going thru?

Answer 1

You probably won't be able to. Seriously. Hey, I've been there, too...I'm 34 now....but I remember when I was 16...I knew what I wanted....I really believed I would be ok doing whatever (staying out later, taking the car with a bunch of friends, etc). I thought I was invincible, really (so to speak), since I was "sooooo careful" with what I did.

All you can do is try and help her with whatever you can...even though she may still think you don't "get it, MOM!!!". Totally natural...totally normal (OMG...look at what I have to look forward to in 14 years w/ my own daughter).....

Take care of her the best you can...set ground rules..and stick with them.

Answer 2

Children have a very difficult time understanding that their parent have "been" where they are. Teenagers especially are unlikely to listen or be open to the idea. They often are exploring the world as an individual for the first time, and with that comes the loneliness and frustration of new experience and trial. Try giving your daughter advice as you would a friend (while not giving up your parental status of course) and more then anything let her know that she can come to you with problems and questions with out harsh judgment and criticism.

These years are the toughest, and one day she will understand your position much better. Good luck.

Answer 3

You may have been sixteen once but those days are gone. its not the same world. Sure some things are universal. They will always be so. Doesn't necessarily mean you understand what she's going through. How can she get you to understand things were different back then. Society and culture were at a different place. I heard a morris day and the time song on muzak in the elevator yesterday. the one where when it came out, it got banned. now its on muzak. Tell her the scenes and the morals of the stories are usually much the same as when we were young so we comprehend it and have our own unique experiences to draw on. but she too is unique and you have to listen without immediately assuming you know all the answers. your daughter is going thorugh something unique , and to her, new.
don't invalidate her experience. Time to listen. guide . don't try to drive.

Answer 4

If you remember back to when you were 16 then you will also remember that you thought that everything that was happening in your life was mutually exclusive to just you! That no one else could possibly understand what you were going through. Remember?

Both my kids went through what you, your daughter and countless other kids are/will or have been going through. Explain this to her in a casual setting. Ask her if she would like to talk to someone about it if she is uncomfortable talking to you. Talk to your General Physician about recommending a counselor for your daughter to talk to. Your insurance should cover at least the first few visits... Believe me, she probably won't want to go after a few visits anyway. For different reasons both my kids realized that their life wasn't so dire after all after only a few visits... But what it did do however was showed the kids that both my wife and I did indeed care about their welfare and respected their privacy enough to let them talk out there problems where you were not in hearing distance. (If you go the therapy route it is important to reassure them in front of the therapist on the initial meeting that what is said between the child and the therapist stays between the child and therapist!)

These experiences with our kids only improved our relationships. So, try talking to your daughter but offer her the therapist option. Once she sees that you are not trying to pry or control her life then you both can move forward.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Nobody wants to hear that, especially at the age of 16. I have always found that teens want to believe that what is happening to them is unique. Try not to diminish her or her feelings by claiming to have all the answers. Instead, just be there for her when she needs support and encouragement. Also try to remember that you were 16 at least 16 years ago, maybe more. The world is different as are the pressures that teens are under.

Answer 6

As far as I know any contract entered into with someone under the age of majority (18 in the US) is potentially void. However, it may be that Cricket has a pay as you go service. In this case, there may be no contract. You may or may not have the rights to access these records. This will probably be subject to the terms of service with the company. Of course you could probably hire an attorney to gain access. However, is it really worth it? Why not just take the phone away from her, take all of her personal items out of her room, the door of her room off its hinges and tell her she is grounded until she's 18 or until she starts acting responsibly and sensibly?

Answer 7

You can't. Do you remember how you would think when you were 16? Did you believe that your parents had any idea what you were going through? If you did, then you were one of the unusual ones.
And in all honesty, you don't know exactly what she is going through, times have changed. You can empathize with her though. Just keep the line of communication open and let her know that you are there for her when she does want to talk.

Answer 8

When you tell her things, don't make it sound as though you are yelling at her, scolding her, or nagging her. That will just make her feel worst. Instead tell her something as though you are her boss, or advise her in a calmer voice.

She will better understand that you were 16 too if you tell her about your experiences. Tell her about the things you used to do, especially things that she likes to do as well. The more you can relate, the better your relationship will be. Hearing personal stories will help her know that you are just like her.

Answer 9

talk to her....it's more of a trust/confidence issue than just a plain conversation of believing or not. Make it a second nature to hang-out with her without bothering her and a few hints here and there and soon she will realize you were in the same boat! Hey, you have to have experienced being 16 to be where you are now, right?

Answer 10

You can tell her but the brain of teen seems to be self-centered until the early 20's. You were there also. What did your mother do to get into your head? Did you pay attention? The messages will be remembered, even if there appears to be sign of insight at the present.
Be strong and parent with love and patience.