Depressed? or just normal mommy feelings?

Question

I love my children and husband very much and wouldn't trade them for anything- I want to say that first.

Sometimes, though, I feel like I live my entire life for other people. I don't like partying or drinking or any of that, but it seems like I don't have anything that I really enjoy doing anymore. I get so tired of doing the same thing every day and I've found myself beginning to lose my temper too easily because I feel trapped or stuffed up in the house all the time with the kids. I'm a stay at home mom- I always worked before our youngest daughter was born, but I quit because my husband and I thought it was best for me to be home with the kids until they started school. I feel overwhelmed. All I do is my schoolwork and housework and take care of the kids and cook and fold laundry and I can never get it all done. Sometimes my husband will mention something that he would like me to do-like iron a certain shirt or something and I feel like he's critiquing me when he isn't. Normal??

Answer 1

Yes, the feeling you are having are normal. You need to get some time for just you. Relax, or go to the gym, movies, or silly shopping. Me, I go fishing.

Answer 2

OMG This is so normal it's not funny! Actually I'd bet that this is one of the most common feelings amongst stay at home moms. I have been one since the age of 19. At one time I had THREE kids under the age of three! Talk about no time for me?! LOL

What you are feeling is natural and normal. There is nothing wrong with you or your family. You are living a traditional lifestyle in a world that is not always able to be traditional. So sometimes you may feel left out esp. if you have worked before this.

I feel at times my husband is critiqing me too. I don't know if he is but it does upset me because I do the best I can. Sometimes it seems like he doesn't appericate me. My husband irons his own shirts though because I'd ruin them, I can't iron to save my life.

Try this: Join a mommy group there are ones online or find one in the "real world" where you can talk about your feelings. You need some time to yourself. Tell your husband if you don't get a day to yourself you may lose it. Go to a movie, take a walk through town, eat lunch alone with no children. They are his children too. He should help {I'm not saying he doesn't because I don't know if he does or not ok?} Get yourself a hobby you can do at home, I do crochet, plastic canvas, reading ect. You can do these all at home, depending on how many kids you have you may not get anything done for a while but just knowing that you're doing something for you is nice. Also at night when hubby comes home run yourself a nice hot bath with some bath salts or something and say for the next 30 minutes is MY time. You can wait until after dinner or even after bedtime. You deserve these things and should not deny yourself them. You are still a special person. It takes a lot to run a home and children all at once. I know because I do it plus I have a cat, a puppy [2 months old] and an older dog. I also have a fish but they don't need much. Lucky my oldest children are out of the house now and it's just my eight year old but he's gifted and is ALWAYS bored or on edge. He's in constant movement and after a long day of cleaning and cooking I just want him to sit still.

Oh, you know what else you can do? If you have a dollar store close go stock up on puzzles, crayons, paper and coloring books. At least the children that are old enough can entertain themselves with that. My son loves to draw so I always have paper and sharp pencils about. If you have little ones though you may just want crayons. Then they can sit down and entertain themselves.

Remember running a household is like running a company, if you have all you children busy you will be able to complete your tasks.

Good luck to you! If you ever want to unload just email me! I'll listen.

Answer 3

When my kids were young, I found that there were days when I couldn't stand any of them....or my husband. But like you - they also meant everything to me. I found it very confusing. Since it seemed to be getting worse, I started tracking my moods to try to figure out the reason for them. What I discovered was PMS. To my knowledge, I didn't suffer from PMS as a younger woman, but as I got older, it got much worse. My symptoms were: sore boobs (this always came first), slight abdominal cramping, 3-5 pound weight gain. This would be 5 days before. Then, like clockwork, 2 days before my period, I would start to get angry. At just about anything. I felt my needs were being ignored, that my children were ungrateful brats, my husband didn't understand me....the list is endless. Also, I noticed I suddenly felt my house wasn't clean enough....

After my period ended, I would look back at the events and wonder why I got so upset. Once again, I loved my husband and my kids and everything would be fine until the next time.

The answer - for me - was Prozac. While it didn't take away the physical symptoms, it certainly cut back on the mental ones. I've been taking it for about 6-7 years now and I can attest that it is the wonder drug. I'm pretty sure my family would agree.

Answer 4

This is perfectly normal. You need to join a club or get on a sports team like a bowling league. Take a short vacation alone and visit one of your friends. Do you have any friends or relatives you could have lunch with once a week without the kids? You also need to sit down and talk to your husband about how you feel and let him know that you need his help around the house even though you do stay home. Let him pick a chore or two that he can do for you such as doing a couple loads of laundry or vacumming the carpet and encourage him to take the kids out of the house without you at least once a week.

Answer 5

Yes normal. I feel ya hon. But I don't think it's depression. I know depression. I just seems you feel bored with your new routine, that is life. You want to feel like you want to contribute more, do something that makes a difference. I struggle with that on a daily basis ( I argue with the dish washer (clean dirty empty full), I like to take my frustration out on inanimate objects that are a part of my routine... my favs hehe). I get mad at having to do something that seems meaningless over and over. Plus being a mom is supposed to be a thankless job, and moms deserve the most to be thanked ALL the time, it's a hard job but some one has to do it. I've learned this: your family is a reflection of yourself take pride in all the things your family couldn't accomplish without you doin it, all the small things smooth things out, makin your lil ones happy and healthy and having all the values that will reflect in later years. When they do start school you will miss them, time will fly and you'll wish you can go back. Also, if you are bored take up a hobby, make new friends, or join an online community...myspace is fun.

Answer 6

I know that you love your family. I am a single mom, but I also have to take out time for myself to be a better caregiver to my children. Once I get proper rest, exercise, devote some time to curl up and read a good book...I feel so much better...because it's time I invested in myself. Time is very valuable, and it should also be invested in you. Time is so valuable it can not be replaced. Even money can not compare to time.

It is not good to never take out time for yourself to rejuvenate. Every caregiver, mother, wife needs a break. You will be refreshed and not feel trapped. Being a mom is a tough job. As a woman you can not take care of others if you don't take care of yourself first. I think being a mother is the hardest job there is...No eight hours a day at work can compare. The job of motherhood never ends, and there will always be something to do.

Evaluate your situation and see how time management skills could better help you. Do the most important things first..put at the top of your to do list. Make sure you include at least an hour or hour and half to devote to you...time where you take care of yourself, you could do anything with this time. Is there something you have been putting off doing for yourself? Try to accomplish this goal.

Maybe you could pay someone to help with chores from time to time. You don't have to pay out a fortune, maybe a teenager..someone who will be willing to make extra cash.

Get a fun hobby...or take a "fun" class. You could learn how to make jewelry at Michael's Craft store...they offer classes. About $20.00 per class..(1 day class)

Just take it easy and thank God for your family. Your husband loves you and the children. It might be time for you and your husband to have a night out on the town. I understand being in school and taking care of responsiblities. Hang in there. Be in courage in Jesus name.

Answer 7

Maybe you need to talk to someone that will be an encourager to you. My church has a ladies group for moms that meets and we do a 'secret sister' program. We draw names and for 6 months we anonymously send encouraging notes, send gifts (under $8), and pray for one another. It really does help. Maybe you could focus your energy on starting a group like this in your community. Perhaps you are already a member of a church, YMCA, or other civic group that would like to do this. Sometimes, the encouraging note, or special gift comes just when you need it.
I encourage you to share your feelings with your husband. Maybe the "first saturday of the month" each month could be your day to do something with your friends...even if only for a few hours. If you feel inclined read Psalms 30. It always makes me feel better to know that God loves me and is there for me when I need him.

Answer 8

before each and every thing, congratulations! that's carefully generic!!! i imagine that it's going to likely be harder for you than your persons, because you're the first to change right into a mommy. the initiating is so demanding b/c you're drained each and each and every of the time and it takes adjusting to each and each and every of the artwork. (I somewhat have 2 youthful daughters, and it replaced right into a lot harder the first time round). i'd recommend looking a babysitter and getting out from time to time...both by your self or with your husband. Even a visit to the food market w/o your little achievable make a distinction. it would want to help rejuvinate your self so which think about extra ability to be with your infant once you come. also, did you comprehend the different moms with little ones to seek for suggestion from from? that ought to help immensely. get at the same time for little playdates (even with the actual incontrovertible reality that at your youngster's age, it truly is extra of a moms' playdate than something). also, do not hardship in case your position isn't shining sparkling. be certain to get a snooze in at the same time as she's dozing (perhaps you're sleep disadvantaged)...yet maximum significantly, purely comprehend that it does get more effective, assuming you provide your self some little getaways. Congratulations, and purely right needs!!!

Answer 9

Probably.

please do something just for you EVERY day.

It is a proven fact that physical exercise actually changes the chemistry in the brain. If you take a walk, or take an aerobics class, kick boxing... or painting class.. sculpting.. mother's day out.. SOMETHING for you, sweetie.

Be good to you.

get a pedicure, new hair style, be creative...

If you do this, you will be happier, and you will be stronger, and your husband will be more attracted to you, and you will be better able to handle him.

:) take care

Answer 10

You need to make time for YOU! Find something that YOU enjoy doing and do it at least once a week. Not sure if you already do this, but excersize pumps "feel good" endorphines into your blood stream making you FEEL GOOD about yourself and other things. Excersize really is mood altering. Good luck