i'm almost 14 years old. i really want a baby and i promised a friend i would get pregnant the same day she did and keep the baby.she is almost 15 and we both swore we would have a baby before we turned 16.i want to have a baby reallly bad and i already talked to a guy named ben who happens to be really cute and he said that he would father my baby.even though i want the baby i'm scared to get pregnant.i need to know if i should have the baby because i want it or if i should wait longer.
2006-12-12 07:25:36 · 33 answers · asked by PASSIONS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you want a small taste of motherhood, start babysitting. They may be cute, but the work it takes to raise them is physically, mentally, and financially exhausting. Their needs always come before your own. This include their need to cry and your need to sleep. They will cry because that's what babies do and you won't sleep anymore because it is your job to sooth them. You will not have a social life for a long time. No boy your age is going to want to go out with a girl with a kid. It complicates dating period, because now you have to think if this is a person you want your child around. And what happens if your child becomes attached to this new man and things don't work out? You now have your own broken heart to deal with and your kids too. Having children is great when you are emotionally, physically, & financially ready, but at 14 or even 16, that's just not possible. Finish high school, go to college, and have a baby with the man you love, not just some guy willing to slep with you for the sake of having sex. Don't try to grow up too fast. It may not seem like it now to you (I remember being 14 very well), but life happens to fast. Slow down and enjoy your independence. Live your childhood before bringing another child into the world.
2006-12-12 08:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait!
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Here's what happens when you have a baby:
1) You will not get a full night's sleep for the next 2 years. My mom has had five kids and even though we're all out of the house now, she still can't sleep through the night out of sheer habit.
2) You will look like hell for the next 5 years. You will have dark circles under your eyes from not sleeping. You will gain weight from the pregnancy and from not having time to exercise once the baby comes. Also you will have a faint smell of sour milk and poop.
3) You can't go to the movies, go to a club, go to a bar, or especially go to college unless you have a babysitter.
4) All your money will go to the baby. Babies are expensive. Forget about buying new clothes or jewelry or a cell phone or anything.
5) Your only friends will be other parents. You'll still have your old friends, but you won't have any free time to spend with them and since you can't go out at night, you will drift apart from them.
6) You will not go to college, at least not when other people your age are going. You might be able to take online courses or night classes at some point far in the future when your kid is a teenager and can take of him/herself somewhat, but you'll miss all the fun parts of being in college and just get all the work. Also your professional career will be permanently stunted.
Get a tattoo with your friend if need some sort of bonding activity. Don't bring another human into the world on a dare.
2006-12-12 07:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by Guelph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait. You are dumb to want a baby at such a young age. Yes, they are cute. But they are loud. They have no sense of time, they scream when they feel like it, even if that's at 3 am when mommy has a huge test the next day. They smell, they require attention 24/7. They cost more than I've ever imagined. You will have no more "you" time.
To be a mother you need to be responsible and mature. The fact that you feel you need to hurry and have a baby because of a promise you would do it at a young age proves that you are neither of these.
To be a good mother you need to consider your children first. How are you going to support them? To give them the best life possible, you'll need a stable life and a good job. You're too young to even have a job. You won't be able to find someone who will be willing to be a father for your child, guys are immature as well at this age.
Grow up before you think about raising a child.
2006-12-12 07:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by Kallie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait. Your 14 years old. Having a child will basically kill that college plan. You have NO IDEA how much care a baby is. What are you going to do about High School? Having a baby, you'll have to drop out and take care of it, so no school.
Where are you going to get the money for the baby? The first year, a baby costs like 2,000 plus. Diapers, Formula, Clothes, everything.
That father gonna be around? I highly doubt it, especially since your so young, he's gonna deny it. He'll want that life of his own.
Just wait, you are wayyyy to young.
Think about it more. Wait until you grow up a bit. I'm 22 years old, and in college, and I couldn't IMAGINE a baby in my life right now. It's impossible.
2006-12-12 07:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by Skyleigh's Mom :)™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello
Bringing a child in this world should not be determined on two friends swearing to have a child before 16 years of age. Once the child is born, there are other expenses involved that unless you are a wealthy 14 year old it will make a difference financially for you, not to mention that having a child would change your lifestyle dramatically
Have the baby later in your life; having a child at your age will rob you of many things you could be doing with your friends (hanging out, going to movies, going to the mall, free time to yourself) all the mentioned things will be gone in your life or altered if you have a child at your age.
Finally, some maturing will need to commence on your part. Your friend may be upset with you if you don't have a child by 16 but realize this; it is your life and your friend will understand what ever you decide to do.
2006-12-12 07:38:07 · answer #5 · answered by dymps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously?! If you are asking here, I think you already know the answer. NO, you are NOT ready for a baby! Do you have any idea what being a mom is all about? No more hanging out with friends, getting up for late night feedings, crying, dirty diapers, doctor appts, . . all while still going to school. Then once old enough, you will need to get a job to support this baby. You are too young to even be having sex. For the sake of the baby that might be, PLEASE go on birth control! Also, have yourself tested regularly for std's and hiv. If you want to act like an adult, be responsible.
2006-12-12 07:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_carmel_angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't have a baby now! If you have a baby with Ben, he may run off or say he's not the father. That means lots of time in court and money. Wait til your older, like after college. Its great that you want to have a baby, but without an education you won't be able to take care of it. If you have one now, you might as well give up your life. Wait to have youre family with someone you love and that wants to have one with you, like when your married. Please don't have a kid at 14!
2006-12-12 07:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by Lexy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey i am a mom and only nineteen. It is hard. If i were you i would wait untell you are older it will be much easier. Don't get me wrong i love my little girl to pieces but being a single mom and trying to do everything on your own is very hard. The guy may have said he will father the baby but do you really think he will stay with you after the baby is born. No he wont. He is young and will want to live his life. That is what you should do also live your life and have fun doing it.
2006-12-12 07:37:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 is way to young to have a baby, wait till your done with college and are able to support it. At 14 there are many more risks associated with pregnancy than say at 25. You should talk to your parents about this because if you have a baby at 14 they will end up supportung it because at 14 you cant get a job, neither can the boy who would "father" your baby. The likelyhood is that he will end up leaving you, he just wants to have sex.
2006-12-12 07:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by Robert B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait. Listen your 14 going on 15. Before you can even think about having a baby and caring for it, you should get into a better position. Maybe waiting until you are out of college would be to long of a wait, I would, but you really need to be in a position to care for a baby. If you had one now how would you take care of it? Pay for the food, the rent, utilities, medical costs, diapers,etc. Wait until you are able to take good care of a child. Talk with your parents and hear what they have to say. If you can't talk with your parents go down to planned parenthood and talk with one of thee counselors.
Good luck
2006-12-12 07:34:46 · answer #10 · answered by Brook W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋