My daughter is 14 years old & I can’t get her to take care of her self at all! When she was younger all she wanted to do was dress up & put make up on everyone. Now, she doesn’t care! She wakes up at 6 in the morning to take a shower, but that’s it. She won’t brush her teeth (we’ve already spent $7,000 on braces), or her hair, she won’t wash her face (she’s struggling w/ acne & I’ve taken her to the dermatologist who given her things but she “forgets” to use them)! I’ve tried to get her to take care of herself by taking her to the salon, buying her make up & clothes, but my daughter looks like she’s living on the streets. Both my husband & I try to get her to hang out with her friends & offer to take/drop them off at the movies, but she doesn’t want to. Now she’s gone from a straight “A” student to an “F” student…we ask her why she’s struggling & she says she just didn’t want to do her home work. We’ve checked her for drugs & had her talk with a therapist, but as parents we are lost as to what to do. I don’t expect her to be “perfect,” but I’m worried that she won’t take pride in herself.
2006-12-12 07:25:18 · 34 answers · asked by CJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have to be strict with her. If she doesn't study or do what she's suppose to, apply some restrictions. Example: no movies, no television, no friends... This is a big problem these days, parents let their children do whatever they feel like doing. A bit of discipline can never hurt.
2006-12-12 07:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'd say if her grades are slipping that's the most important thing. I've never been big on make up or 'doing my hair' and I've turned out just fine. But if she was a straight A student and her grades are slipping that definitely means something is going on with her. Maybe you could call the school counselor and see if they could set up a meeting. Sometimes when teens won't talk to their parents they'll turn to someone else. Have another adult that you trust talk to her and find out what's going on with her. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to show you love her so don't stop doing the right things by your daughter. It sounds like she needs your support and she's lucky to have you.
2006-12-12 07:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by razor_sharp_redhead 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
...I'LL BE YOUR DAUGHTER!
(I wonder how many people have posted that comment already?... but I actually MEAN it (hehe))
She's 14; don't worry too much. She's still at the peak of "discovery."
Sometimes the hardest lessons to be learned are learned through experience.
She just needs to simply find out for herself. You've done your part, now let her be.
HOWEVER, in terms of her grades... that's important. I think you need to find out what's going to motivate her to do well. I know my motivation is to "get that chedda' " and hopefully be able to take care of my family (not like my "married with kids" family) but be able to take care of others other than myself.
Everything else is trivial. She needs to find things out for herself... and trust me... SHE WILL.
Just keep a close watch (not to the point of suffication) and let her know that you and your husband/wife are their to lend her a helping hand - some advice.
Society has changed a lot since we were kids... since I was a kid. "Old-world" ways are not always going to work today.
I think it's a little harder to raise kids today
...that's why I don't have any.
Hope that's helpful.
.pEace.
2006-12-12 07:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by ...Tell Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and don't try so hard to get outside help, a parents love is worth more than a therapist or dermatologist bill. Try doin facials with her or sitting down and helping her with her hair, spend time with her instead of worrying that she's not taking pride in herself..because taking pride in yourself only leads to what others think, and it sounds to me like she doesn't care what other people think..be thankful that she has a strong opinion of her own...but try to do these things you want her to do WITH her instead of just giving her the first step and then expecting her to do it herself. Also try having her take her medications when you're around to remind her.
2006-12-12 07:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by GrayMatters 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just a phase and she'll get over it the second you stop paying attention. Just stop your obsessing and let her look like a slob if she wants too. Eventually something will snap but she may need to just be left alone. She's hormonal, emotional and probably just trying to figure things out. Be there for her but back off a little. I went through a phase of wearing cut off jean shorts and a Metalica shirt for about 6 months. Never brushed my hair or teeth either....I look just fine now! :)
2006-12-12 07:30:14 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Tam Tam, take her to a psychiatrist and have an evaluation done for adolescent bipolar mood disorder/depression. My son who is now 17 was diagnosed at age 11 with bipolar mood disorder/depression. His schooling suffered greatly as did any friendships and social outings. Now he has problems with his social skills due to shutting himself off from friends and eventually not going to school. He is a very bright young man and does very well in school when he goes. Please do not put it off too long, get her some help, talk to her teachers at school to find out if they have noticed differences in her moods at school such as mood changes etc., as well as friends. the more information you can take to the psychiatrist the better. Good luck, and I hope everything works out.
2006-12-12 08:53:20 · answer #6 · answered by dini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if she has depression syndrome. Has there been any drastic change in your home? Lost or death of someone? Father absent? Mother too busy? Best freind moves away? New baby in the home? With teens and the lack of communication sometimes its had for us as parents to get through. I'm sure you have tried everything within your power to fix whats wrong, but just to listen without being critical or judgemental is sometimes hard for us parents.
2006-12-12 07:38:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lonely Heart 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like your daughter is trying to take care of herself. she sounds like she is rebeling and going against your wishes to find herself. Talk to her about what she wants in life not what you want or wish for her to have in life. Set rules and boundries for her that are fair to her. If she doesn't want to wear make up that is fine but since she isnt getting her face that dirty every day then she doesn't need to see a dermatologist for her ance. If she doesn't wear the clothing you buy her then she does her own laundry. If she doesn't brush her hair the suggest she cuts her hair really really short it so it isn't tangled and all she needs to do is wash it and put some gel in it. It seems like your putting your dreams on her and she realizes it and doesn't want that because living out your dreams isn't going to find the person who she is.
2006-12-12 07:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by tjnw79 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit her down ans talk to her. Explain how you're feeling about this and ask for her input. Being 14 myself, i know i dont like talking to my parents all that much, but if she tries to get up and leave, make her sit back down. Enforce some rules. But do it tenderly. Maybe talk to her teachers or her friends, or maybe give her some time off to relax and find herself. School is stressful! Maybe what you all need is a vacation! But don't forget one thing, you're her parent and you make the rules. If it's just a phase, itll pass in time. Good luck!!
2006-12-12 07:30:38 · answer #9 · answered by tootsierollsweets 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-05 05:43:26 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋