My boyfriend went to a Christmas party for his work. Instead of taking me along as his date, he took his best guy friend (and purposely didn't tell me, as he thought it might hurt my feelings). I pick him up from his house after the party, and he is completely drunk. We go back to my place, and while he's getting ready for bed, he chats on the computer with his best friend. I go to close down the computer and read that he has written comments about how he wants to have sex with one of his female co-workers. I confront him, and he tells me it was just male bravado, and that he didn't mean it.
Do I dump him over this? I don't want to end up heartbroken and cheated on. Would appreciate opinions. Thanks.
2006-12-12 07:21:33 · 25 answers · asked by minion 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He did invite me first, but I had work obligations. Also, I am not looking for someone to make up my mind for me, I am just looking to see what other people's opinions are. Thanks very much.
2006-12-12 07:31:10 · update #1
Im sorry to say but yes you dump him.
He is TRYING to screw this coworker, believe it. Happens every day.
That is why you weren't invited to the Party.
Even if he hasn't yet, he will keep trying because he wants her.
The worse thing you can do is get mad and try to "compete" with her to keep him.
Im sorry.
2006-12-12 07:24:48 · answer #1 · answered by elisioloyd 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are a couple of things that you should take into consideration before you decide to keep him or give him the boot. How long have you been together? Has he given you any reason to not trust him? Has he ever lied to you? Has he ever cheated on you? Do you love him? He very easily could have been trying to sound more manly to his buddy. From experience, my husband says stuff like that quite often, however when he looks at me, I know he loves me and would never cheat. He just talks "big" around the guys. You could be in the same situation. I would seriously weigh your relationship, and discuss you concerns with your partner before making any decisions. You could jump to conclusions and lose the man of your dreams. Good luck.
2006-12-12 15:31:04 · answer #2 · answered by Tainted Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you don't want to end up cheated on then I say unload him. He obviously had intentions at this party that he didn't want you to be aware of, since he didn't take you. Sounds like he didn't want this female co-worker to know he had a girlfriend, either. Not taking you to his Christmas party doesn't make sense on any level. Unless, of course, you're a raging alcoholic who would've embarrassed him in front of the boss. In any case there are issues to resolve before you can consider yourselves a "couple" so bite the bullet and get on with your life. Good luck! Trust me, there's someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and loved without the games and without the lies.
2006-12-12 15:30:22 · answer #3 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! It would be nice to believe that it was just male bravado, but him not taking you to the party and taking his buddy, and the fact it is a co-worker he wants to have sex with tells me the true reason you were not invited is this girl. He is lieing to you sweetie! I would find out who this girl is and go have a talk with her and find out what it is he has really been up to at work. Seems to me he wants to appear single and he wanted to spend time with her at the christmas party instead of you.
2006-12-12 15:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in a hard position girl. I think it best to confront him when he is sober. Ask him what was the reason he didn't take you. (most of the time guy let lose and fun fun when they buddy is around). Does mean he didn't want you there, maybe he just needed some time for himself. About the computer thing, yes confront him again!!sober!!
Now if he says no its a joke(not a funny one at that) you can do 1 of 2 things
Leave, and not deal with it or believe him until he gets you a reason not to.
2006-12-12 15:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by helpful friend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The comments on the computer may have only been for show, but the fact that he purposely did not take you to or even tell you about that party is concerning to me. If he truly wanted to hurt you by doing that, then he is not worth it. You might be heartbroken, but you will be better off in the future. You need to make this decision for yourself, but based on your comments, you need to seriously consider his intentions with you.
2006-12-12 15:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a good sign...If he did not take you to his work party and later wrote his buddy about having sex with a co-worker the two probably go hand in hand. He most likely doesn't want his co-worker to know that he has a girlfriend as it may ruin his chances of hooking up with her. I could be wrong but...if it smells like fish and tastes like fish....then it probably is
2006-12-12 15:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by mdbayboater 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, the bastard didn't even mention an invite to his office party, second, he takes his best "guy friend" instead of you, third, he's contemplating screwing a co-worker?? If anything, I thought you were eluding to him screwing his best friend until you threw in the female co-worker. You should've left that drunk muthafkka at that party for his "best friend" to take home. That was servile for you to have done.
The writing's on the wall, chick...
2006-12-12 15:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by incognitas8 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We can not tell you what to do, and should not tell you what to do. You should not expect any of us to tell you what to do.
You need to follow your "gut feeling". God was nice enough to give it to women to use and it should be used more often than it is.
If this is the only thing he has ever done that has offended you then maybe you have something you can work with. If there are other incidences that have caught your attention then you should sum them all up and sit down and think about it.
You are not married to him so there is nothing tying you to the relationship but you.
Follow your heart dear. Do what is right for you. You are in charge of your life and what you want out of it.
2006-12-12 15:24:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have to ask, it means you're being bothered by his actions and feel disrespected. Guess what? YOU SHOULD! On your own computer he writes such junk? How rude is that? To top it off, he should have brought you to his party and by not doing that, it's a sign of him already looking for the next peice of a s s. Don't just dump him, dump him NOW!
2006-12-12 15:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry but any man who would think that or treat a woman like that deserves to be dumped! Thats just wrong you dont say those things.If your already afraid hes going to cheat on you, save yourselves the ugly break up and do it now.
2006-12-12 15:28:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋