The rule at our house is that if my daughter acts up, we start counting to 3. If she doesn't cut her awful behavior out by the time we say 3 she gets an equal punishment for the negative behavior. My mother in law says it disturbs her that any more we can usually just say "One..." and our daughter will stop immediately. That's the purpose of counting. She says it worries her because our daughter is afraid of us, or else she would keep doing it until after two. Who's crazy? Me? or Her?
2006-12-12 07:15:11 · 14 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
tell the old bag to butt out
2006-12-12 07:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by tamumd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. My mom used to count to me when I was a kid. But the real question is, how do you punish her? You sound like a reasonable parent, so I doubt that you beat her or anything. If you make her sit in her room or clean up her mess then you are doing absolutely nothing wrong.
Your mother in law is just trying to help. She raised kids a lot of years. Maybe you could ask her what she'd do instead. Maybe she's got a good idea, and if not at least she will think you are listening to her and she will back off a little bit. Good luck!
2006-12-12 07:21:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She obviously had a different way of disciplining her children. My parents did the same thing with me and I almost never acted up, even as a teenager. Also your daughter is not afraid of you, she knows what she is doing is wrong and stops because of this knowledge. You should try to encourage her to stop of her own accord. Another thing is that you are her mother. Your mother-in-law cannot tell you how to parent your child.
2006-12-12 07:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my I had my first child, my mom let me know that "the mom is always right". It's your child, proceed with confidence and you will always be right.
That said, you are actually right.
Your daughter is not scared of you. Children have short attention spans. She is not old enough to "use" the counting to continue to do the bad thing for as long as she can. (that'll come later). Your daughter just doesn't remember that she's not supposed to do the bad thing....or gets distracted. But when she hears that "one" she suddenly remembers and corrects her behavior.
Be sure to compliment her, and let her know that you love her. My daughter was the same way, and we found counting to be a very effective reminder. It resolves the issue before bad feelings can enter the equation and mess everything up.
2006-12-12 07:24:17 · answer #4 · answered by beeswax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!! Your daughter is not afraid of you...she is afraid of the consequences that lead from the counting!!! We do the SAME thing and my 2 year old daughter stops before I even get to 2!!!
I, personally, like that before resorting to swats on her butt (only to get her attention and let her know what's up). If we do get to 3, she gets stuck in the corner (which she HATES) for a few minutes.
I would think swatting on the behind would make her MORE afraid than simply counting!! Think about it!
2006-12-12 07:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by retrowfmk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, i read your other question, and i seriously need to say that your mother in law needs to butt out. She has no right, or business in this situation at all.
My mom did one two three with all us kids, and you can bet by 1 we were acting right, every time. We knew there was punishment waiting if we didnt straighten up right then and there.
Dont question yourself, that will ruin the excellent confidence you have in raising your daughter.
You are one of the few who are doing an excellent consistant job training her into a functional child and eventually adult.
Your MIL needs to leave you alone, and you need to ignore her completely, and certainly dont let her interfere.
2006-12-12 07:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely right, and that's a good way to discipline her. What is your mother in law talking about, your girl supposed to listen to you, she doesn't want your child to listen to you? Is this the same mother in law that told you not to make her pick up her crayons? I mean I'm sure she is a great woman, she probably just loves her grandchild.
2006-12-12 07:18:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you:) She is being way too overprotective and you NEED to stop letting her get to you. Do your whole family a favor and tell that woman to stop trying to run your lives and BUTT OUT! This is your child. Your instincts will usually be right. You are not beating the kid for god sakes. Does this woman live with you or something?
It sounds like you need to sit down and set some real boundaries with your mother in law. Tell her that you understand that it is natural for her to want to go easy on her granddaughter and spoil her but the reality is that it is your role as parents to handle the discipline. She absolutely needs to respect that. Remind her that arguing in front of the child regarding her discipline undermines you and confuses your daughter. Truth be told she is the one doing the damage if she undermines you like that in front of the child. Arguing in front of kids is never good. If she is at your house begin walking away and take your daughter with you to another room if she begins to undermine you. If she is on the phone begin to hang up. She won't like it but she will get over it eventually (she has to if she wants a relationship with her granddaughter) and your daughters well being has to take precedence over hers. Get mad over this and stand up for yourself please! Ask your husband to back you up. If he won’t then stand up to her anyway for your daughter’s sake.
2006-12-12 07:51:57 · answer #8 · answered by Nev 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is nuts! I think it's fair to always give one warning--One. That's it. If they don't comply, punishment follows. Keep doing what you are doing and I suspect that by the time your daughter is 4, you won;t have to count at all b/c she will know her boundaries.
It worked for me anyway!
2006-12-12 07:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by kathylouisehall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have set boundaries for your daughter and she knows them. Your MIL is just being a grandmother. Continue with your discipline. Your daughter is probably not afraid of you but has respect for you and does not want to get punished. I see nothing wrong with it.
2006-12-12 07:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by rdncgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is. I have a 4 year old.. and I don't get to two either. It's not fear-It's your childs respect. She has had her chance raising your husband- she needs to let you raise your children without interferance. If it works for you- keep it up. You are the parent and you need to have your children respect you - not walk all over you like so many do today.That shows you love them.
L
2006-12-12 07:21:08 · answer #11 · answered by #1mommietwice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋