is he covering up?

Question

my boyfriend and i have been dating for around 5 months now. he has never done anything to make me really worry about him lying or cheating. however, there have been some very very small insignificant things. anyways, last night he said that something was bothering him and he wanted to tell me about it. he said that before we were together he had always felt like he had to have a different girl every other night. he said he was use to being a playa and even sometimes a cheater. but, that ever since we had been together the desire was completely gone. he said that even if he saw a really pretty girl ... he will think about me and ask himself how he could ever even think about doing anything to jeopardize our relationship. he also says that he knows he's in love with me and wants to marry me. but, that all this scares him because before he never cared and now he cares so much. i really believe that he loves me and i am not a naive person. however, i must ask would you put stock in this?

or better question: how would you explain this? guys ... girls? i need help. tell me why he is telling me this and being so honest. thanks!

Answer 1

follow your gut feelings, if you trust him, trust him. if you don't, then don't. look at those little things, and talk to him about them, see what he says. you're the only one that can tell what your heart beleves. Sometimes, trusting in someone, is different than trusting them. understand??? i trust in my boyfriend, that he won't intentionally do somthig that's gonna hurt me, but i dont' trust that he won't... does that make sense???? probably not, huh.... it's almost like believeing in santa clause as a kid. you believe in your heart that the'res a santa, becasue you have faith in it. have faith in him if you love him. that's not sayin that he will never hurt you, it's saying that you have faith. that's it.

good luck, honey.

Answer 2

Because maybe you're the first woman he's met that showed him signs of being a good mother. When men think of marrying a woman, that woman has to have characteristics of being a strong mother for his children. That's the bottom line. I've had many women who have been fantastic lovers, yet only a couple have had the whole package. It sounds like you have the whole package he's looking for. It's easy to settle down when you find the right woman, no matter how much of a player he used to be.

I dropped 4 girlfriends for my wife 13 years ago. I had 4 other women that I was seing atleast once a week. Then she came into the picture. The sex was fantastic, but so was the sex with my other women. But this one, there was something about her that told me, she was the one.

Unfortunately 11 years later (2004) I found out about an affair she had, forgave her and tried to keep the family together until this year, when she did it again, I filled for divorce. Turns out, sometimes you think you really know a person, but they turn out to have no self control.

Give him some rope.... if he hangs him self, leave him. If he stays faithful, I would put some stock in what he is saying.

Goodluck!

Answer 3

Hey.
I don't think there are any clear answers. I would advise you to remain with your eyes wide open. Only time will give you the answers you're looking for. I speak with 40 years experience on this. If he was a "playa" and use to cheat, then check up on him. The more times you check up on him and find he was honest the more you'll trust his words. My concern from what I read is that you said he has said, "how he could ever even think about doing anything to jeprodize..." Does this mean he's thought about it? Eyes wide open.

Answer 4

I think you should stay aware of his past. I've dated a "playa" in the past and he said the same things to me; later, I found out he cheated on me! As the saying goes" once a dog, always a dog". This guy might be different but I doubt it! keep your heart on guard! Plus, I think you know the answer to your question since you are asking for advice!~beware of the dog!

Answer 5

He is just scare that if he commits to you, you might do him wrong or something, thats how some guys are, oh if he was a playa before, hmmm, he might still is. Good luck and just ask him questions it dont hurt to ask, but it hurs to wait then find out the hard way.

Answer 6

it depends how long he was a player and whether or not the player has baby team members. it sounds to me like he does care for you but he has some info that would probably blow your relationship out of the water. Respect contributes to a healthy relationship, you don't want something from the past lingering in your relationship. Talk about it.

Answer 7

Well there is 2 possibilities.

1. He means what he is saying
2. He has cheated on you and is feeling bad, so he is telling you a bunch of B.S. to make you think he would never do anything like that.

Answer 8

It sounds like he has found someone he loves and his outlook on life has changed. Don't let it scare you....odds are he just wants to be straightforward with you. I don't know how old either of you are, but don't get too involved too quickly. Five months is a short time. Just enjoy eachothers company and if something seems unusual, ask him. The longer you know someone, the easier it is to see what is going on with them.

Answer 9

Maybe he's sincere and wants to reassure you in case you hear rumor of his past. But then, again, maybe he wants you to believe so you won't know he's still cheating. Only you can decide for sure. People on the internet don't know this guy or you, so we can't be sure.

Answer 10

you are over analyzing. Just enjoy the relationship and don't be in such a hurry to get married.