Okay. I met a guy and he's real sweet to me. Actually he spoils me rotten with attention ,conversation, etc. I just want everyone to no that its not just a materialistic type of relationship. Anyways . I've had my present boyfriend for about 7 years on and off (some good some bad ). He is presently incarcerated. He says that he's changing for the better and in some ways he has grown mentally. The rollercoaster ride is driving me nuts. But I'm scared and I'm at a stand still. My heart doesn't know which way to turn anymore. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that my new friend wants me to move with him temporarily to see if I'd like it in his home town, which by the way is only about an hour away from mine. Should I stay still or leap for joy ?
2006-12-12 06:46:50 · 13 answers · asked by t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Always opt to leap for joy. But are you ready to move in with a guy you just met? Yikes! You might want to put this relationship in a lower gear until you're over the incarcerated guy. After all, you wouldn't want a really great guy to end up a rebound guy, get hurt and walk away from you in mid-leap.
As far as the incarcerated guy is concerned, he's just a boyfriend, so you're under no obligation to maintain a relationship with him unless you create that obligation. But if it's driving you nuts, move along.
Take it slowly. If the new guy is great, leap for joy...in the comfort of your own home. Enjoy the attention, date often, visit his home town or whatever, but don't jump from one relationship directly into another. Spend some time with yourself and see what you've learned from the last guy. You'll be happier with yourself in the long run, you'll grow, and you'll find out if the new guy is THE ONE or just a really nice guy.
Good luck, and trust yourself--
2006-12-12 06:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by KD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have done the waiting thing with the man incarcerated, I have heard all of the wonderful promises about how everything will change and be better when he gets home. My advice to you is to stop waiting, it isn't going to change. Do not move in with the new guy, not even for a temporary thing. You need time and space to sort yourself out. I'm not saying to stop seeing this guy, but take it slow. You are dealing with a lot, you have to be emotionally exhausted and tired of being alone. Give your heart time to heal before you attempt a new relationship.
2006-12-12 06:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget the guy in jail, that is just bad news. why would you move in with someone that you just met that only lives an hour a way. you can always meet him half way for a date, or make him drive an hour to see you, that isn't that far to go for a date. after 2 years of doing this, and if you are still together, maybe move in together, don't rush it, he may not be the one, the one maybe living just around the block.
2006-12-12 06:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by besthusbandever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. It's time to take you to school. The boyfriend that is in jail is talking all this wonderful stuff because he is in jail. It's called "jail talk". He has a lot of time to think, because he has no other choices. Onces he's free and he has choices again, only will you know if what he's saying is true. Do you want to take that chance? If yes, stay still.
If no, dump the jail bird.....But take it easy with the new guy. Fools rush in. If he truely likes you, he'll do what it takes to have you. Sweetie.....make him work for it......he'll appreciate it more. Date him, but don't move in with him.....
2006-12-12 06:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long have you known this guy? what is your... ex? is he your ex yet?... what is he incarcerated for? are you afraid of his reaction? when will he be out?
I can understand the roller coaster and wanting to get off... get off NOW! thing, but be sure you disembark properly. don't leave any open doors there. you don't want anything to swing back and hit you in the rear.
be sure to break things off with your current relationship properly and then determine that you aren't just jumping into a similar situation before moving in with your new guy. maybe it would be healthy for you to live on your own for a while and enjoy the freedom you've been missing for so long before moving in with someone else.
good luck. and enjoy your life.
2006-12-12 06:53:46 · answer #5 · answered by Goddess T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing you should stay away from men in jail. They are never a good bet and find it difficult to get jobs when they get out. Its time to move on and if its with a guy you really like and respect then go ahead and move in with him, just to see what its like to be treated like you are worth something more than what jailbird guy can ever offer you. If the love and respect part isn't there, then wait on moving in, but break it off with the guy in jail.
You will feel much better about seeing other people if you are honest with him.
2006-12-12 06:53:59 · answer #6 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have wasted 7 years, some good and some bad and now the dude is in jail and you are wondering what to do???
I say dump the dude in jail, life is to short to waste on losers, and also dump the dude that wants you to live with him.
Concentrate on your OWN future and happiness, if a Man comes along with the same goals/dreams as you, then consider a relationship.
But you have to be happy with yourself and your own goals first.
Good Luck!
Peace!
2006-12-12 06:52:37 · answer #7 · answered by C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That jailhouse bit you got goin on is bull honey. Been there done that. If he's truly reformed and its meant for you two to be together, he'll find you when he's released. Don't put your life on hold for that. If this man is really diggin you, and you feel it, give him a chance. Rather not spend your life with the shoulda coulda wouldas!
2006-12-12 06:52:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go w/ your new friend. Hey, you need to go out and have fun and live life. Don't stop living life, you never know your friend might be a big part in your life. Good Luck!!
2006-12-12 06:55:16 · answer #9 · answered by abeauty1102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for the new guy...the other is in prison, nothin can really stem from that anyway. you said yourself...on and off, good and bad. for all you know he could be blowing smoke up your butt.
go for the guy that spoils you, and wants to be with you!
2006-12-12 06:51:25 · answer #10 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋