Childhood Trauma. Should I get over it?

Question

When I was about 3 years old, my dad raped me. I've had visions going through my head about it. I've told my friends and my mom, but some people said i should just get over it. Should I?

Answer 1

~You can't just "get over it." You suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.~

Post-traumatic stress disorder can cause flashbacks, which are vivid, disturbing memories of the traumatic event. Many people also have sleep problems and nightmares. Feelings of detachment, guilt, or paranoia and sometimes panic attacks also can occur. People with PTSD may also develop depression and be at increased risk of suicide.1

Answer 2

A rape is not something you just 'get over' like a bad cold or missing a movie date with your friends. A rape is a physical and emotional violation that is deeply traumatic. And when it is perpetrated by a father -- that is even worse.

I would strongly urge you to contact your local rape crisis center -- they will offer you free counseling. This counseling can help you overcome your memories and find ways to control your visions. Please call and get some help so that you can find aneffective way to move on. Only then will you begin to 'get over it'.

And keep in mind that when people tell you to get over something, it is for their convenience. They simply don't want to deal with your problems, so it's easier for them to dismiss your trauma. If people do this, you should dismiss their advice and possible, dismiss them from your life. Someone who truly cares about you and has an ounce of human compassion would know that being raped by one's father is one of the worst experiences a person can have. If they do not have compassion for that, your time would be better spent with a hamster or snake.

Good luck. Please call for counseling.

Answer 3

And how do they expect you to just get over it? That is ridiculous. You don't get over something like that. The only thing you can do is not think about it, learn to live with it, not make decisions because of it, but you're not getting over it and nor should you try. You'll be setting yourself up for failure. If you feel like maybe you need help dealing with it, then get it. People who tell you to get over it just don't know what else to say and maybe you are showing signs that you aren't dealing with it very well so they are trying to help. At any rate, the only thing you can really CHANGE is to make sure something like that never happens to your children. Maybe you could look into doing some volunteer work with abused children?

Answer 4

First things first, u NEVER get over it!!!! that is a difficult thing to live with! I had a similar experience when i was younger and i have learned not to forget cuz i never could but to incorporate it into myself.....i know i did nothing wrong and that you should always tell yourself! that is important. try telling your story to other people(like some kind of speaker or suttin) to inform them on the subject....u would b surprised how many people have lived the experience like us....information is the key!!! you can help others to try to avoid the situation or show them a way out! one more thing.....KARMA ALWAYS finds you! he will get what's coming to him. Be the better person so he knows he didn't win and that you are stronger than him!

Answer 5

That is something you cannot get over on your own. You need professional help. Not a psychiatrist, but a therapist/counselor. Don't get discouraged if you aren't comfortable with the first one; keep going to different ones until you are comfortable with one. Then, it will take time to work through it, but eventually, you will be able to.
It may seem like no one cares, since people are telling you to get over it, but God cares, and so do I.

Answer 6

You should try to come to terms with it. The people who have told you to get over it are being completely insensitive. You more than likely will need professional help to get to a point that you can live with the memories of what happened to you. A good therapist can help you deal with your feelings(anger, guilt, shame... ) and become a mentally healthy adult.
I am so sorry for what you went through. Best of luck with your healing.

Answer 7

In a way, yes. Get over it to the point that you can enjoy your life and trust people. It is not fair and will never be fair or ok, but if it did happen there is nothing you can do about it now, except to come to terms with it. WHether you choose to forgive is your decision and is a separate issue, but you should choose to "get over it" for your own sake. You only get one life, so your choice is to either let the past paralyze you or not.

Answer 8

They only say that because they've never been through anything like that.

I'm not going to say go talk to a counsoler, they'll tell your parents and they have no experience on teen problems any more than Paris Hilton seeing that she has none.

I would call s and boys town, or something like that. Those people have heard many stories and how they've been solved. There is no doubt they can help you with yours. Also, your call is completely confidential. ;)

Hope this helps and God Bless! ;)

Answer 9

Only you can answer that question. Are you ready to get over it? Can you or do you think you may need help? You do not state how old you are now so, I do not know how long you have battled this but again, only you know if it has been long enough and if it is time to move on.

The experience will always be with you in one way or another. How you choose to deal with it is another matter.

Answer 10

You should speak to someone who knows more about childhood trauma. You can't just get over something like that. It may stop you from trusting anyone if the people closest to you are telling you to get over it just because they are.