Does anyone feel alone as a parent?

Question

I'm 23 with a 2 year old and a 9 month old and one due in May. The girls are everything i dreamed of having and more and their dad is absaloutly wonderful, he is an amazing father and husband. But, my entire family live overseas, and my in-laws don't get along and have nothing to do with us so while my husband works up to 10-14 hours a day sometimes 7 days a week, i feel really down and upset. I have no friends here, i have tried, but i have no babysitter so i can't join in on lunches and movies etc. My 2y/o goes to mothers day out i thought that would help me meet people but it hasen't, everyone is so busy and i'm a stay at home mum. I feel incredibly lonely and sad because i do what i can for my girls, i play with them teach them, read, draw, color,do crafts, bake everything, but i still feel like a failure at times. My patience can wear thin very quickly sometimes, this pregnancy isn't easy, and i feel awful when i yell or call time-outs,i was just wondering if i was alone with this

Answer 1

No you are not alone. Nearly every woman I've ever talked to feels lonely from time to time.

Rev Jank

Answer 2

I am also a stay at home mom of a almost one year old- and can relate. My husband is an excellent father and takes really good care of us. He works all day for the phone company and then farms/ranches in the evening and weekends. I'm unable to spend as much time with him as I would like to - but I also realize that he works long and crazy hours to take care of us. I'm really luckey that I don't have to work. My family cenerio isn't much better than what you described. My parents and sisters don't talk or have anything to due with us. (They tried to split us up and convience me to give up the baby) and my inlaws are never around. I do everything I can for my son but still the days are long and lonely. Sometimes I wish I just had another adult to talk with. I live out in the country and there is no one close by and the nearest town is 25 miles away (not exaclty like I can run in for coffee) - besides I don't know anyone is town. So no your not alone and I would have to guess there is probley more of us out there. Hope this helps brighten your day knowing that there is someone else in the same boat.

Answer 3

Heck no! What you are feeling is quite normal. Children are wonderful blessings and they can be lots of fun, but they are never the same as speaking with another adult. I am sure that when your husband gets home he is too tired to be very entertaining. That is how it was for me. I finally found a mother's play group to belong to. Once a week we would get the kids together to play (even if it was a weekend). This gave us grown ups a chance to chat and compare baby stories. If nobody in your mother's day out group is willing to create a play group with you make one of your own. Put an add at the grocery or newspaper. You might be suprised at the response. When you are feeling all alone it is easy to get short tempered with your kids. After all, they can't understand how you feel and they don't care. They are just busy being kids. If you are getting too out of hand you should consult with your physician. There are some antidepressants that can be safe during pregnancy. Everything you wrote is how I felt when my kids were very small. Don't get too down on yourself and realize you aren't the only one!

Answer 4

You are so not alone. I'm a stay at home mom also, with a12 year old, a 2 1/2 year old and an 11 month old. Some days I feel like I'm the only adult in the world! It's hard to spend your days talking to people under 4 feet tall. I find myself yelling sometimes just purely out of frustration with my own life. Don't feel bad... they'll get over it.

Be careful that you are not falling into a serious depression. If you start worrying that your sadness is affecting your every day life, speak with your OB about it. They can give you advice about treatment for depression.

I understand your problem with finding friends you can spend time with. Making online friends may be a good option for you, but nothing beats face-to-face time with other grown-ups. Check the newspaper for support or activity groups in your area. Many churches offer a social time for parents that includes daycare.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

No, you are not alone. I am a 35 year old mom with three children - 9, 4, and 3. The first two are boys with the last being a girl. My husband works nights from 11pm until 7am. I am very lonely lately - my only out is that I am enrolled in college pursuing my education degree. You could really benefit from enrolling your children in a daycare on a part-time basis if possible. You could then may get a part time job or even enroll in classes at the local college. You need to do something that you enjoy!!! You are way too young to be feeling like this - you're supposed to wait till you are old like me. ha ha Three children is a task in itself. So Take Time For Yourself - Do something that interests you.

Answer 6

Your far from being alone. I have three boys of my own. they are 4, 3 and 2 years old. My husband works two jobs so i can be a stay at home mom and the only people i really talk to is my sister. i go into this pregnancy chat room on yahoo. its under health and wellness and its pregnancy room 2. I've gone in there ever since my first pregnancy. The girls are wonderful and very supportive. Please check it out if you want you. I know all about the having no friends thing. All but 3 of my friends disappeared the instant i got pregnant. I'll look and see if you allow emails from people on her and i can email you my email address and messenger i.d if you ever want someone to talk to. I know how hard this is. Good Luck to you and I want you to know that it does get better. If you dont allow emails i will come back and leave mine on here.

Answer 7

I really feel for you. I am a mother of one and I made a conscious decision to have just one because I wanted to have my own life too. I love my son but I need to be out in the world alone sometimes. If you can afford it, go back to work part-time. You need to be around other adults and feel fulfilled as a woman as well as a mother. Find something that you like to do and give yourself the gift of freedom, just for a while during the week. You can't be a good mother if you are not happy. Good luck.

Answer 8

GIRL!!! I could almost guarantee that most moms will feel that way when they stay at home. I feel like me being a stay at home mom is the most important thing I can do for my kids right now, so DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!! You are doing probably one of the hardest jobs out there, and to me it sounds like you're doing a FANTASTIC job!!! I was feeling very down also, so I joined a MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers) The others moms in the group were mostly stay-at-home moms, and were relate so well!! I am a bit socially anxious, but this group is so different. I love it!! PLEASE check one out, it helps you to realize there are lots of other moms out there that feel the same way you do.

To find a MOPS group in your area, call 888-910-MOPS
or email [e-mail]

Answer 9

You really need to have conversations with adults and not just your children all of the time. Also get out with your children and go places with other parents that will help. Indoor play grounds and places like Discovery Zone can be your best friend.This fun secure places can also wear a child out with fun. You can talk to adults while they have fun.

Answer 10

I don't know if lonely is the word I would use but you are not alone with these feelings a lot of women including myself feel this way sometimes