i have been with my man for about 6 months. i love him very much and i want t o be with him fot the rest of my life. but he has already been married and has a baby with her and 3 other girls as well. he wanta one with me and he wants to get married and wants me to drop out of school to be with him. i want to make him happy and give him a baby but he left all the other ones that he has children with. also he has a drug problem and he has abused me a few times becuase i dont want to have a baby with him. like i said i love him but i dont know what to do. can anyone help me?
2006-12-12 05:22:27 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This isn't a good situation you are in. If he is married and has children with other women that he hasn't taken care of, what makes you think he will take care of you and a baby. He must be very good at manipulating people to get what he wants...and that's what he is doing to you...plus if he has abused you he definatly doesn't respect or love you...and most importantly DON'T DROP OUT OF SCHOOL...By you dropping out and having a baby with him is probably his way of controlling you and is probably intimidated by your intelligence. His drug problem doesn't help either. He needs to admit to himself that he has a problem and seek help. So if I where you I'd get out of this relationship and continue your education. If you love him maybe you should have an intervention
2006-12-12 05:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by aalma00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh lord honey first off the first time he abused you in ANY way it was time to get out regardless of how much you "love" him. Once a man is abusive to you and you stay you are basically allowing it to happen again and again because the statics show once a man is abusive to a woman odds are it will happen again. Stay in school do that for yourself so that in life you can have something to fall back on if your "relationship" doesn't work out. He has 4 kids now? Do you really think that he's a good father to any of them? I'm guessing he is not just by what you've said in your question. Furthermore those 4 kids are eating up his income in childsupport IF he is being man enough to pay it, do you think he can afford another without putting you and the baby on welfare?. You don't love him I think your scared to leave him because believe it or not "love does not hurt" You need to find a man who doesn't have a drug problem, doesn't have half a basketball team running around and isn't abusive they are out there don't you dare settle for less! Now all this being said give me ONE reason beyond "i love him" why you should even continue to be involved with this person..
2006-12-12 05:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You're crazy gurl! You already know what I'm going to say, dump his sorry a**, but I know if you really do love someone that's a very hard thing to do! I know how that is. I've been in the exact same situation before. First off, someone who is trying to make you drop out of school seriously doesn't have your best interests in mind, and secondly, look at the rest of these women who have children from this man. He doesn't take care of them, and he probably threatned them as well..Thirdly, any guy who has a drug problem is always a wonder. Some are okay when they are doing drugs, and some get crazy, like both you and I have expierenced. I really can't tell you what to do in this situation because if you love him, you aren't going to listen to anything I'm saying, but trust me, been there and done that with more guys than you can count on 2 hands, don't roll down that way because later on you're going to regret the hell out of it..I've spent most of my life with bad boyfriends and you really don't want to go there..Don't make the same mistake that I did..
Good luck!
2006-12-12 05:32:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run far away. Look is someone wants you to forget about what is important to you then he does not love you he loves the idea of having power to control.
Not to say that a real man with other kids could not be a good man but you would see that he is a good father taking care of his kids. Honest about his part in having them.
Would want you to have some things of your own and not pushy about having a child for him.
So now how much do you value yourself if you dont value yourself then no man will value you either.
To abuse you is not a normal or good thing. Woman have been killed for not having babies for not conforming to what a man wants. Are you wanting real advice or just confirmation that it was okay for you to be abused, to stop your dreams, to do all for this person, and forget you had a life too and dreams too,
If so then you might have problems too in wanting a man that abuses you instead of one who treats you like a queen.
Leave him get your life straight and move on there is a good man waiting for you to wake up
2006-12-12 05:32:16 · answer #4 · answered by An American in Ireland 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl get out fast!! I can tell you from experience this man doesn't love you at all. Whatever you do do not have children with this boy. You can find someone that truly loves you and doesn't need a child to keep you around. I am sure you are young you have a long life in front of you. If you make the right choices you will enjoy life to the fullest. If you make bad decisions you will always live with regret, because you knew it could have been better.
2006-12-12 05:37:26 · answer #5 · answered by paulslovergirl1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard sometimes as a woman to leave a man when we think they need our help overcoming certain obsticles, but it is always better for us and the other person to leave. He will only cause you pain, because at this point it is probably all he knows anymore. Dont be left with no education, or diploma to back up that education, with a child to feed and an addiction to watch out for . Plus his drug abuse could damage the baby before it is even born.
This is your life but obviously you are questioning it so go with your gut feeling and dont look back.
Good Luck.
2006-12-12 05:34:07 · answer #6 · answered by melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are setting your self up for a major fall he is not the one for you and i know that is not what you want to hear but it is the truth! Honey you will find that special someone who will not hurt you and on that has no baggage or at leat not all his baggage if he has a drug problem and not willing to get help its only going to get worse so really think long and hard about what you are getting yourself in to ??? Its not worth it you deserve so much more in life so good luck and i hope u make the right decision!!!
2006-12-12 05:30:00 · answer #7 · answered by JINE GIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
saying Hi,
ovcourse i'll help u
uv been wiv him about 6 monts then u ha dcome to know that he is a married man and even have babies what shall i tell u u love him but before falling in love with him u did not get an idea of taking a look of his backgroung including family and hoe he behav in the society.. oh he is a drug addict and wants to m,ake babies with u so plz do it,..,.,.,, kos u love him!!!!!!!, u know that u should not give him any chance to do babies with him,, ok think that u have already a baby with him, HE IS ABLE TO NURRISH HIS FAMILY. AND HE WILL BE ABLE DO DO SO WITH U AS HE IS A DRUG ADDICT., AND U SAID HE DO BABIES AND LEFT ALL OF THEM., SO AS U WISH EVERY THING DEPENDS ON YOU WHAT U WILL DO I'LL NOT TELL UTO GIVE UP READ IT CAREFULLY IT WILL SERVE YOU.,., U JUST NEEDED HELP I HELPED U THINKING THATIT WILL HEPL U SO PLEASE READ IT DEEPLY AND CAREFULLY.,., AND YOU ARE A SCOOL GIRL HE IS TELLING U TO GIVE UP SCHOOL., YOU DECID A BETTER FUTURE WITH U SCOOL LIFE OR A DARK FUTURE WITH UR MARRIED LIFE, AND WILL YOUR PARENTS ACCEPTS MARRIYING THEIR DAUCHTER WITH A DRUG ADDICT.. AND DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT RUNNING AWAY.,. YOUR FUTURE DEPENDS ON YUR HANDS AND YOUR BRAIN SO USE IT,.,,. i said all that i have to say so think carefully once again it will help u
2006-12-12 05:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by bhavish r 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah, leave him. if he wants you to drop out of school with him then obviously he don't love you that much. and a drug problem is a bad mix with kids, especially his history for leaving the ladies with the babies.
2006-12-12 05:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by Pyromaniac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she is trien to inform ya to back down however, nonetheless demands a date to promenade does not wanna cross by myself I might simply be myself ladies do not like men who're to effortless to get at the side of or to needy act like not anything concerns however, be great have a well time with out catering to her.
2016-09-03 07:24:18 · answer #10 · answered by darland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋