i'm almost 14 years old. i really want a baby and i promised a friend i would get pregnant the same day she did and keep the baby.she is almost 15 and we both swore we would have a baby before we turned 16.i want to have a baby reallly bad and i already talked to a guy named ben who happens to be really cute and he said that he would father my baby.even though i want the baby i'm scared to get pregnant.i need to know if i should have the baby because i want it or if i should wait longer.
2006-12-12 04:48:16 · 67 answers · asked by nikki 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Community Service
you need to wait but who am i to say i have a kid and i have to go to school and i have to do every thing .it is hard at frist but you get used to it and the father of my son is a jack *** and cant be a man so it makes it harder on me and he said that he would be there for me but now he is with some other girl and i have a kid and a boyfriend how hates the fact that i have a kid by some other guy and i have him for that but he loves him and helps but you thank that you really want a kid i was your age when i had Jayson and i almost thought i was not going to make it but i have and he is so cutie and he thanks that my boyfriend is his father but he has had a hard time with day care . he has been up and down . he told me that he would like to go to school to see his daddy but i cant tell any one at school tha he is his kid becouse he would kill me but have a child and i am in school and i t is hard but i have a happy face and a kid that loves me when i get home and he never stops smiling.
2006-12-12 05:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Bad idea, just because you want one You should wait. You have your whole life ahead of you. Just because you promised doesn't mean you should do it. You should definitely wait longer.....!!!!!!
Being pregant is hard for anyone, but 10 x harder at 14 years old. You still have to finish school. Child rearing is expensive. Your life will completely change. You will have a lot of responsiblities.
You can't even drive yet. What about money? You can't get a job. How will you buy diapers, formula, clothes, crib, toys, and so on....? Being a parent is a life long commitment. Once you say okay to keeping this baby, be prepared to end your teen life. You can not be a carefree teen that comes and goes whenever. You will forever be a mom. A parent, an adult.
A young teen has no idea what it is really like to be a parent. It is not like playing dolls. When you get bored or tried you can't put it on the shelf. Having a baby is forever. Every freedom you have now will be taken from you. You will be up night after night. You can't come and go anymore. Your whole life will be about that child and everything you do will effect it.
Stay in school get an education a great job a home a car than when you have a mate, have a child. Only than will you be able to make a better life for you and baby. A baby now will only make things 10000 times harder, not easier. How could raising a baby be easy at 15? Even those teens who are mass help have major problems. A child now will only bring you down. Would you have anyone to even help you? Would the guy you just Know help you? How would he support the child when he doesn't even work? Not a good idea at your age. Go to school and get a job, make a life for yourself. Find someone and get married before you start a family. That will be the better choice.
In the meantime, babysit if you must be around children. Get the feel of how to care for them. It isn't easy to care for them. They take up a lot of time and attention.
2006-12-12 04:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babies are not play toys and you cant put them away when you are tired of playing with them. You cant go dump it off with grandma and expect her to take care of YOUR baby so you can go out and have fun.
The minute that your baby is born all your attention is supposed to be on him or her. NOt the boys and going out .
Forget about new clothes and getting your nails done . At 14 you still cant even get a job but yet you think you can afford a baby. ANd where do you think that the money will come from for the doctors and food and diapers.
In 5 years your baby will be starting school and needing school clothes and would be right around the time that you should of been starting college but wont be since you will be working full time just to keep a roof over your head.
. If you really want a baby all that bad why not go down to your local orphange or Child Protective Services and ask if there is any place that you can volunteer to help take care of the babies. Or find a babysitting job that you do everyday after school and on weekends so you can get an idea of what your life would be like if you had a baby.
You cant expect your baby to live its life around yours , you have to learn to live your life around thiers.
Trust me I know I was 14 when I had my first son and was married at 15 and 1./2 and divorced by the time I was 19. Babies cry and vomit and if it is a boy will pee in your face.
THey have to eat regularly and be bathed and put to bed on time. They need your attention and your patience.
. A baby is supposed to be a special little person that comes from a loving relationship.
Some babies grow up just fine without both parents but some dont.
You could also go to your local childrens hospital everyday after school and play with the kids and never miss a day. This will give you some idea of being responsible it will also open your eyes to the fact that not all babies are born perfect and cute. Some little ones are born with many problems or develope problems later on. there is no guaruntee what kind of baby you will have.
Some babies sleep all the time and others cry all the time. Picture if you had a baby that never stopped crying. Or one that had medical problems and you find yourself spending the first year or so of the tiny ones little life in the hospital.
One other thing unless you and your friend have the exact same cycles you wont be able to get pregnant at the same time, well at least not on the same day.
DONT DO IT .
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. Wait until you have your feet firmly planted in the ground and know exactly what you want in life before you have a baby. One last thought what if you were to have a baby now and when you turned 21 you meet the man of your dreams and fall madly in love at first sight but the minute he finds out that you have a 6 year old kid he says later and is gone or worse lets say you get married to some guy and he starts beating or your kid because its not his. Look alittle further into your life and the ifs ands and buts and maybes.
2006-12-12 06:29:48 · answer #3 · answered by hersheynrey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your physical age might be 14 but your mental age is not--you are still stuck in the 5 year old 'give me' and 'I want' syndrome.
You need to grow up and get an education. You need to have more than a sperm donor as a father for a child. No matter what the other kids says--you need to have a mother and father if at all possible in order to raise a child. Maybe you did not have the kind of parental guidance to tell you that. What a pity.
You go to a woman's shelter and talk to some women about having a baby. You go to your school councilor and tell her you are thinking about it. You need to go to a parent and tell them what you are asking complete strangers on the Internet. Then if you are still convinced that you want a baby go find a gal who had a baby at 15 or 16 or 17 and see how her life is. Ask her what she would do in your shoes. Then ask that girl's parents what they would want her to do. Unless you pick some real loosers you will be told to wait--finish school--go to college--get a job--find a spouse--and THEN think about a baby.
2006-12-12 05:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by Orpah! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe you're putting this up to an Internet vote.
The real answer is that no, you're clearly not mature enough to have a baby. You know that having a baby is a permanent commitment, right? Once you have a baby, there won't be a lot more talking to cute guys...you're either with this guy Ben for the rest of your life, or it gets REALLY hard to get dates. For one, you have to find a babysitter for your kid. Going to college will be almost impossible, since you'll probably be a single mom and have to support both of you plus pay for school.
Remember too that yes, babies are cute. They're made that way for their protection. For the first few months, they don't sleep very well, which means you won't sleep very well. She'll barf on you, many many times. You'll change more diapers than you can imagine. She'll get sick, and sometimes you'll also be sick, and guess what? You're the mommy, so you have to take care of both of you. (And hey, watch out that you don't lose your job because of it either, what with having to support the both of you and all)
It can also be incredibly expensive just to have the baby. A friend of mine just had one, and I think her hospital bills were around $30,000. At least, the ones she's gotten so far...those things trickle in, there could still be more coming.
Just...NO. A million times no.
2006-12-12 14:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by E Yow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer you're going to get from here is no. I'm almost 28 years old and have a 3-month-old son. I love him to death, and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, but I was ready for him. It's a lot more work than you can imagine, and it sounds like you just want a baby for the novelty.
1) Sure, babies are cute, cuddly, and fun, but they're not a novelty.
2) Cost alone is $500 a month, on average. It's thousands of dollars just to get started.
3) They require care 24/7. Sure, maybe you'll have help, but even with help, it's not easy. They need to be held, fed, changed at 2am, 3am, 4am, 8am, noon. They will cry non-stop, and it sounds cute to a non-parent, but believe me, it stops being cute when you have only had 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours.
4) Can you afford a babysitter? That' could run you about $200-300 a month, on top of the $500 for basic needs. My son had a few dozen outfits that he can't fit into any more. He went from newborn size to 9-12 months size in 3 months. How often will you be able to go out and shop for clothes, let alone afford them?
5) How do you know you'll want the father to be a part of the rest of your life?
There are many more reasons, but believe me... you don't want to have a baby right now. Once you do, you can't go back.
2006-12-12 05:04:47 · answer #6 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing that's WRONG with this plan is that you are not in a committed relationship to bring a child into the world. Raising a child is HARD WORK! It takes two people to do it successfully. The second thing WRONG with this plan is that you are a CHILD yourself. You have no idea what you are even considering. You would be better suited to go buy a doll. Not only will you miss out on your own childhood if you go through with this ridiculous plan but you will be depriving an innocent child (the baby in this case) of an adult parent who knows how to take care of her and love her and SUPPORT her. Are you financially independent right now and can support a baby? Are you ready to give up not only your sleep but life as you know it to take care of the baby? A baby isn't a play toy. You don't go put them in a box when you're done. It's a lifetime commitment. You are of no age and certainly in no frame of mind to be making a lifetime commitment such as this. I would have to ask you WHY you feel like you want a baby right now? Don't forfeit the rest of your own childhood for this crazy plan that seems like a good idea at the time. Down the road you will be able to see more clearly. Being a mother is the hardest job I've ever had in my life. It would be most unwise, selfish & unloving for you to carry out this absurd plan. Talk to your parents first if you decide to go through with this because you will need permission for the baby to live in THEIR house, right? And eat the food THEY PROVIDE, right? And they will have to buy the clothes, etc. Do you really think it's fair to your parents, to yourself, or to the baby? Just don't do it. You have plenty of time left for that!
2006-12-12 05:00:22 · answer #7 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope after seeing the responses you have already gotten that you have done some serious thinking. This is the biggest mistake you will ever make. I know you may not understand this now but when you get a little older, probably mid 20's it will all be so clear to you and you wont even be able to deal with having even thought such a thing. Some one needs to sit your friend down and have a talk with her. The man who agreed to sleep with you and father your baby needs serious help also. And um...it doesnt matter if a guy is "cute". That doesnt make for a great father or having good genes. Doesnt ensure you will have a happy healthy baby. Please rethink this whole thing and dont make this mistake. Wait till you are married and done with school and then make a beautiful family.
2006-12-12 05:02:09 · answer #8 · answered by Andrea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No 14 is way to young to have a baby.Your body and mind are still developing.You shouldn't let other people talk you into it either as they will NOT stand by you or help you if you do it. It wouldn't be fair on the baby either.How would you be able to afford to feed and clothe yourself and a baby?You are unlikely to finish high school so probably never go to college either. Do you think living on welfare is going to be easy?You won't be able to go to the mall and have fun with your friends and choose a college or courses.A baby is a life overwhelming even when you are older and married. Please don't let yourself be talked into this talk to someone an adult you can trust, but don't ruin your life cause babies aren't toys. They can't be put aside when you get sick of them. Let yourself grow up a bit first. Work in a hospital as a volunteer in a baby ward or an orphanage.
2006-12-13 01:52:44 · answer #9 · answered by jacqui w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is PLEASE WAIT until you are at least in your 20's!! If you have a kid while you're still in high school, who's going to take care of the baby while you're at school? Who's going to pay for all of the diapers and formula and doctor's visits? You won't be able to finish school on time. I can guarantee you'd have to get a job and probably end up dropping out because you can't afford not to work. You need to wait until you've graduated high school and you have a job and are financially stable before you have a kid. Having a baby is NOT EASY AT ALL, and it's only harder when you have a baby while you're still so young. I strongly suggest that you talk to people that had children while they were in high school and ask them if they would/should have waited. Let them tell you what a mistake it was.
2006-12-12 05:00:31 · answer #10 · answered by funnygrrl19 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok imma be straight with you. i am 18 years old going on 19. when i was in highschool, alot of my friends got pregnant around the age of 15 or 16. Most of them have dropped out, the baby's father is not around, and they're struggling real hard to make it. You can go to college and have a kid but it is rare that it will happen. the fact that you are asking this question shows that you have doubts. which is good. look, once you turn 18, you realize LIFE has just begun. you're too young to be a mother and not to be able to enjoy life. dont you want you child to have a dad? dont you want to be married and be financially ready before you have this child? What if one day he or she wants a toy, but you cant afford it? that will deeply hurt you because you cant' give him what he/she wants. I know this because i see it in my friends everyday. you should talk to your parents as well. how would they feel? are they willing to help take care of the baby while you're at school? or working? you cant do it on your own, even if you think you can. it is TOO hard
2006-12-12 04:56:12 · answer #11 · answered by smurf 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋