I've had a cr*p day and a massive row with my sister.
After years of s*it and her stroppy attitude I told her what I thought.
I have my driving test on Friday and I'm scared
Can anyone make me smile, do you know any gags about driving instructors.
Have you heard anything funny recently wether about driving or just something funny ????
Any funny stories ???
2006-12-12 04:43:38 · 9 answers · asked by Elle J Morgan 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Lets try
A farmers wife walks into the barn with his lunch & catches him in the act of sha**ing a sheep. She screams at him for being a pervert & he just says, " dont you see the pig I have to sh*g when your not around," his wife replies " I think you'll find thats a sheep". The farmer quickly replies " I THINK YOU'LL FIND I WAS TALKING TO THE SHEEP ".....
Hows that feel any better.
2006-12-12 05:10:03 · answer #1 · answered by Because I Said So 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've got one.
A good friend of mine tells a story in his production called 'I DECIDE' (http://www.decideshow.com)
He starts the scene by asking the audience if they have ever pissed their pants...He gauges the reactions and goes on:
"Don't be shy, I'm sure at one point or another we've all pissed ourselves. In fact there's probably someone in the world pissing themselves right now. Hopefully outside of these walls."
He continues, "I was actually introduced to the joy of pissing myself at the age of 6, in the back seat of my mother's car, on the way home from school. Just, 'Oh, here's a good spot, 'whoop'!' Yeah...It's really warm...then it gets cold."
He then starts to digress "Why do we human beings not trust nature? Why do we try to hold on to the things the body doesn't want. Like a lover, or an image, or a friend, or a job. Eventually we all have to pee. Eventually we all have to let go. So why can't 'eventually' just be NOW!?"
http://www.inspirationalentertainment.com/letgo/
Enjoy.
2006-12-12 05:05:00 · answer #2 · answered by prizefyter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The traveling incense salesman was walking along the dusty road out of New Delhi when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the enterance-way and the root gatherer came to thedoor and said "Yes". The incense salesman said, " I am a traveling incense salesman and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The salesman said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."
2006-12-12 13:38:24 · answer #3 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A guy goes into the test centre for his second attempt at his test. To his dismay the same examiner comes out and calls his name.
The guy is nervous and to make conversation he says to the examiner "I had you last time"
"Really" Says examiner "How did you get on?"
Good Luck You ll be fine
2006-12-12 08:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by Vinny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you havent seen the movie licensed to drive go find it a blockbuster or something. it is hilarious. about a kid going in to take his drivers test and knocks out the power to the computers so the dmv gives him his license anyhow. its really funny. and its about an 1980's movie.
2006-12-12 04:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by Z K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate those crappy days too. They are terrible. Go to cuteoverload.com, you will HAVE to smile. BTW, i have tons of fights with my sister, and have done the same thing you did. Youll both eventually forget about it, and move on and be friends again.
2006-12-12 07:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by hj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i saw a man bonking a dolphin the other day and his wife shouted "hey thats it were gonna get a divorce now!, he replied. "i dont care there are plenty more fish in the sea."....
2006-12-12 04:58:34 · answer #7 · answered by chris w. 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i had my driving test last Monday and i ran over a pig on a zebra crossing lmao ho ho ho merry p*stmas and a bottle of beer.......... good luck
2006-12-12 06:41:01 · answer #8 · answered by chris b 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try this it has some funny stuff on
2006-12-12 05:08:53 · answer #9 · answered by bigpenso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋