I have been dating a guy for 10 months he is nice but he is to easily distracted from what he needs to be doing. He has a two year old and doesn't want to get his fat *** up and look for a job. Plus he's so prideful he doesn't want to ask anyone for help but me and his brother. He trys to act like he is too good for food stamps or getting help to get his child Xmas gifts. A real father would do whatever it took to make sure their child was not hungry and happy. But at the same time I love his child very much and even more so after I found out I couldn't have kids because of a partial hysterectomy I had to undergo because of endocervical cancer. I am only 22. What would you do in my situation I care for him but not his work ethics or values, and I Love his child and I like helping his child but I can't bare all the burden on my shoulders
2006-12-12 03:52:06 · 10 answers · asked by Landra 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As you've stated you can't afford to take on this burden, and you shouldn't. You can still be a part of this child's life without being a door mat for his father. Try talking to your man, let him know how you feel. But please keep in mind if this man doesn't care enough to do whatever it takes to provide for his own child what good is he really to you? What you need to do it talk to the brother and you and him come to an agreement that the next time he comes to either of you for help you tell him you can't. He's not going to get a job or seek assistance elsewhere when it comes so easily from you and his brother. Again just because you're not with the father doesn't mean you can't come up with other arrangements to continue being a part of this child's life. Please keep in mind that even though you can't have a child of your own, you can't take over this child either. Perhaps one day you will consider adoption or if you can find someone to carry a child for you, you can use your eggs and your mates sperm to produce your own child. I wish you the best with your situation.
2006-12-12 04:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stay in the childs life, it sounds like you would be a very good mother, I am very sorry that you will not be able to have any childeen of your own.
As for the man, I think that he is using you and his brother as a crutch. As long as youtwo are helping him, he thinks that he will not have to step up to the plate and do what needs to be done. You are right, a real father would do anything to help his child, any opertunity that comes should be snatched up and held on too. I think you should be his friend but nothing more than that untill he can step up and do what needs to be done. I hope things work out for you and him in the end. Merry Christmas.
2006-12-12 03:58:33 · answer #2 · answered by Jenjen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are complaining about a problem that YOU and his brother are the soul contributors of! Stop being the reason (yes, YOU are!) he's a lazy slob. YOU are paying his way and taking care of his child (that's great by the way), BUT he's got it too good to stop. Why would he? MAKE him get off his *** by not being so available. Just do for the child as best you can, and tell him he's on his own til he does his share.
2006-12-12 04:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First i want to give you props for accepting his child. I dated a guy for two years with a three year old and that was a living hell for me. Drama drama drama and i was not strong enough to handle it. Anyway, i do understand you love this child, but keep in mind it is not your child, there for it is not your resposiblity to take care of it. It sounds like your man know that you and his brother are going to be there to take up the brunt of his laziness, and i would not tolerate it. You should leave him, because then he will be forced to get up and do something since he want have your extra finance to help foot the bills. It will hurt you, but will do wonders for him and his child in the end. I think you should reevalutate the situation and tell him you are done supporting him. Until he helps himself, you shouldn't.
2006-12-12 03:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you need to have a talk with him about his laziness. Speak for his child as try to explain to him his responsibilities to him/her. If he doesn't want to cooperate than I'm sorry to say I would move on. Maybe the brother can have the child live with them for awhile so daddy-o can get his s**t straight. Seriously thou, I would seriously think about moving on because if he's not going to provide for his own child then what do you think would happen to you if you too where to marry.
2006-12-12 04:00:12 · answer #5 · answered by 3000gthottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be there for his child since he's not doing his job and try to be part of that childs life treat him like your own and maybe that would open his eyes and think... " man if this girl who's not my babys mama is caring more for my child then i should pick it up." but all guys dont think the way we do...
2006-12-12 03:56:26 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would toss that LOSER out on his ear. Contact the Mother of the child and see if you cannot send some gifts etc.
2006-12-12 03:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, this man is your version of price charming. Remember, nobody put a gun in your head when you spread your legs for him and procreated a new version of him. Cupcakes, buck up and accept your mistake.
2006-12-12 03:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-12-12 03:56:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to get him to help himself and if he doesnt give him an ultimatum
2006-12-12 03:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋