Ok. I've been mentoring a 12 year old girl since she was 4. Her older sister was a straight A student in 8th grade and is currently a high school drop out with a 16 month old baby. Her mom just moved again. She's currently staying with her (other) sister's friend so she doesn't have to change schools twice in less than a year. (she attends a K-6 elementary school). I've put it on the table, cleared it with the school district, and discussed with her mom that maybe she should stay with us during the week and attend the 6-8 middle school by our house so she only has to change schools once (not sure how long this arrangement with the sister's friend is going to last) my husband thinks we should wait until the end of the school year if we're going to take her, or wait for a real "Crisis." She's already a year behind in school (2 years in 2nd grade) and her best chance of graduating high school is in a different household. Thoughts? Oppinions? Suggestions?
2006-12-12 03:47:18 · 5 answers · asked by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Oh, I'd want it to be a 5 1/2 year commitment on everyone's part if we were to do this. She is the 5th child in a single parent household of 6 kids, and #4, who's been living with an uncle since he was about 10, is the first one on track to graduate highschool. He's in 10th grade now.
2006-12-12 03:52:42 · update #1
Several things...
First, talk to the child. What does she want to do?
Second, talk to your husband again. You don't want to bring this child into your home and then not have a home for her.
Next, we are a military family and move a lot. Changing schools can be a smooth transaction if you are there to support the child. So, take her in and help her adjust to the new school as best you can. Allow her to have friends over. Take her to school functions. Meet her teachers. And so on.
Then, a 12 year old girl is on the cusp of so many changes. Move now or don't move at all. I have an 11 year old daughter and we are really begnning to see a lot of things starting to happen. I am sure that this child is going to need your help to navigate all of the 'stuff' that will be going on. You need to establish that relationship now, not later. Children want to talk to you, but that want decreases if they haven't had it from that start.
Finally, how awesome that you are even considering this. Pre-teen girls can be difficult. You are a wonderful person for opening your heart and your home to this child.
Go for it if everyone involved is on board!
2006-12-12 04:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by jrstina624 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a fantastic idea! My husband and I also did something like this.. He has a daughter from a previous relationship.. His ex (his daughters mother) had two daughters from other men later on... She had them taken by social services and they live in our custody..
I think it's a great thing to do anytime you can do it.. It's very hard to see someone like this especially when you've already put so much into their live.. How does the 12 year old feel about this? I would assume she's in agreeance
2006-12-12 12:49:23 · answer #2 · answered by ames018 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sounds like this girl is in a crisis !! what does she want to do?? Would it be better for you to take her now or later? Is she at risk for failing this year if she doesn't come stay with you now? Thats alot to think about !! Good luck and let us know what you come up with :)
2006-12-12 11:51:17 · answer #3 · answered by mindy s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you already have your mind made up =)
Go with your heart and do what feells right.
2006-12-12 12:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by angelmwilson 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think you have a big heart and you should follow what your heart feels is right.
2006-12-12 12:09:35 · answer #5 · answered by trish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋