I'm an Christian woman who is trying to protect celibacy until I marry however, my bf is not religious,and tells me its silly to wait because we both won't be sexual if we wait till marriage. I love my boyfriend very much yet I don't want to be selfish.
2006-12-12 03:16:07 · 33 answers · asked by DelightBunnie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I DON'T KNOW HOW OLD ARE YOU. BUT THE PREMARITAL SEX IS VERY IMPORTANT! I AM A CHRISTIAN ALSO AND I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERNS. BUT THE SEXUAL LIFE INA RELATIONSHIP IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR ITS WELL BEING AND SUCCESS. YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOUR BODY. YOU HAVE TO SEE WHAT YOU LIKE OR DON'T LIKE IN SEX. AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU HAVE TO GO OUT AND SCREW EVERY MAN YOU MEET JUST TO GAIN SOME EXPERIENCE! NO, NOT AT ALL. BUT WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE OR NOT BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED? BELIEVE ME, IN A RELATIONSHIP OR A MARRIAGE, IF THE SEX IS GOOD, IT IS ONLY 10% OF THE SUCCESS AND IMPORTANCE, BUT IF THE SEX IS BAD, IT'S 90% OF THE PROBLEMS. AFTER ALL, THE CHOICE IS ALL YOURS AND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE, YOUR BOYFRIEND WOULD HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT AND RESPECT YOUR DECISION. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU. DON'T DO SMTH THAT YOU ARE NOT SURE IF YOU WANT IT OR NOT, OR ONLY COS SOMEONE WON'T BE HAPPY WITH YOUR DECISION. IT IS YOUR BODY AND YOU KNOW BEST WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU! AS SELFISH AS IT SOUNDS- THAT'S TRUE.
2006-12-12 03:24:28 · answer #1 · answered by Stella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not much of a Christian if you're a) dating a man with a completely different value system and b) even considering giving it up so you won't be seen as "selfish".
If your religion really means something to you, then sins are sins no matter who is trying to talk you into doing them. You say you're trying to protect your celibacy. In the words of Yoda, there is only do or do not. There is no try.
Figure out where your heart truly lies, with Christ or with your boyfriend. If it lies with Christ, it's time to find a new boyfriend, one who shares your values.
2006-12-12 03:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you, then he'll wait for, he'll respect your decision, and not use any excuse so just to sleep with you...
Do it when your heart says yes, but make sure you dont have any regret or guilt. By the way, giving yourself in is not the way to prove your love to him!
Why cant he prove his love to you, and wait till you are married? This is not about you being selfish? Isn't he being selfish here?
2006-12-12 03:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by riaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a christian woman.
And here is what I say.
First the bible says not to unequally yoked with unbelievers, and it sounds like "since your dating an non believer", you reaped what you sowed.
Of COURSE he isnt going to agree with you , by not having sex until your married, He doesnt have moral or belive in a higher power.
BUT YOU do, and you have to answer to God . The holy spirit is telling you no, dont push that off.
If your man is pressuring you into sex, its only because he wants you to sin, fall, and feel guilty.
Until a ring is on that finger, you shouldnt.
I get married this saturday, and have been a virgin and still am waiting till my wedding night.
Dont be a fool and LISTEN to God. Break up with your man if you have to!
2006-12-12 03:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your a Christian then you know it would be wrong to sleep with him.If he loves you he will wait, if he doesn 't and sleeps with someone else, then he is not the one for you.You have to be a witness to him, show him the right way of having a good and Godly relationship. Trust Jesus in everything you do, pray and things will work out fine
2006-12-12 03:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT being selfish. I am a Christian female as well and I know that it is very hard to save yourself this day in age in our "sex-obsessed" society. However, it is possible. I have made a commitment with myself and to God that I will save myself for my future husband, this is out of respect for myself, my future husband and most importantly God. If he doesn't respect your wishes to wait he isn't the right guy for you. The right guy WILL wait for you and will respect you for your decision. Don't ever let a guy talk you into anything you are not ready for or make you feel bad so you will give in and fufill his selfish desires and wishes. I think it is very honorable that you are planning to save yourself, please don't let this jerk trick you into thinking you are selfish or wrong to want to save yourself. If he truly cares for you he will wait for you. Good luck to you and pray about it. God bless you!! :)
2006-12-12 03:20:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...first of all there is absolutely nothing wrong with saving yourself till marriage.....
Secondly.....your bf is the one that is selfish....If he really loves you, he should respect your opinion and wait for you....
And you shouldn't change the way you are and what you believe in for others......
2006-12-12 03:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by Shlooby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The old saying "If he's not willing to wait for you, he doesn't deserve you" comes to mind, but so does "If she's not willing to do it for you, she doesn't deserve you." Depending on which side of the fence you are on, you can justify it. With that said, there aer plenty of compromises. Oral sex comes to mind (with me, it comes to mind alot). There are plenty of ways to give him pleasure (which is all he wants) without giving up your celibacy. Stand by your faith, but be open to some suggestions from him.
2006-12-12 03:25:08 · answer #8 · answered by cosdogg11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being selfish - follow your heart and don't let yourself be pressured into doing anything you're not ready for. If your boyfriend truly has your best interests at heart, he will not pressure you to do something you are not ready to do, and will be respectful of your beliefs.
2006-12-12 03:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by Isobel23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping your virginity is not selfishness. The selfish one is your boyfriend who wants you to go against your beliefs and have sex when you don't want to . If he had any respect for you, he would not push.
2006-12-12 03:19:45 · answer #10 · answered by Elizabeth Howard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋