After John’s wife passed away, he decided that, at eighty-four, it was about time for him to consider moving into an assisted living community. He was a lonely widower, and it was becoming difficult for him to care for himself and tend to all of the responsibilities associated with being a homeowner. So, he sold his house, liquidated his assets, and moved to a neighborhood retirement home. After a few months, John had settled in and was making a lot of new friends.
At the home’s spring dance, he met a woman named Dina. Dina was a widow and eighty-two years old, but she didn’t look a day over seventy-five; what a looker. John decided that he would ask her to go out on the river with him in one of the home’s paddleboats. Dina accepted John’s invitation, and on a sunny Saturday afternoon they went out on the paddleboat together. The date was going wonderfully, and as their boat approached a fork in the river, John turned to Dina and asked her if she wanted to go "up or down?" Dina turned to John, and all of the color was gone from her face. She wasn’t smiling. John started to shift and get a little uncomfortable. Instead of answering his question, Dina stipped all of her clothes off right there on the paddleboat and proceded to make passionate love to him. It was the wildest, most desperate, best sex of his life. John decided he’d ask Dina out again.
The very next Saturday, John asked Dina to go out on the river with him again. She accepted his offer, and they went back out in the paddleboat. When they got to the same fork in the river, John turned to Dina and asked, "Up or down?" Again, Dina ripped all of the clothes from her body, climbed on top of him and made passionate love to him. Wow, John thought. I could get used to this.
The next Saturday, John and Dina went back out in the paddleboat. When they got to the infamous fork in the river, John turned to Dina and, smiling as he unbuttoned his shirt, he asked, "Up or down?" "Hmm," Dina replied. "I think... up. Let’s go up-river." Stunned, John fumbled with his shirt buttons and tried to pull himself together. "Err, alright... up-river it is then," John stammered. They travelled the rest of the paddleboat-ride in silence.
As they were nearing the dock, John just couldn’t stand it anymore. He HAD to know what was going on. How could he lose out on such a great deal?!
"Dina! I need to ask you something."
"What is it?" Dina asked.
"Well, see, these past few weeks, every time we’ve gotten to the fork in the river, I have asked you if you wanted to go ’up or down,’ and you have responded by ripping your clothes off and giving me the best sex of my life. Why didn’t you make love to me this week?"
"Oh, Jesus." Dina answered. "My hearing aid was getting repaired and I just got it back yesterday. Every time we’ve been out on the river, I thought you were saying, ’**** or drown.’"
2006-12-12 03:14:49 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
HILARIOUS!!!
2006-12-12 03:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by piper_69_77 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny. Hahahahah. That's a share-with-my-blue-collars at work joke. That's a good one--f*** or drown. Somehow you have to inject a Cialis or Viagra joke in there too. ;) That's the biggest objection you will get to the joke, that an 84 year old male got it up to have relations with the lady. ;)
2006-12-12 11:20:27 · answer #2 · answered by DellXPSBuyer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice
2006-12-12 11:32:58 · answer #3 · answered by Jon C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That fork will never be the same again for John ! haha
2006-12-12 11:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been in that shop a long time today to read that long one but it was well worth it it was a brill story 10/10
2006-12-12 11:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny!
2006-12-12 11:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
aw, I don't know, it's funny but it doesn't make sense to me why she'd continue to go out with a guy that she thinks is threatening her everyday. lol. yea, it's pretty funny, but not the best.
2006-12-12 13:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by sarahjc23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one
2006-12-12 11:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by Beth B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should get a hold of that hearing aid and destroy it. Poor guy.
2006-12-12 11:57:14 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ME♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hehe - as somebody above said one of your best joke ever.
2006-12-12 11:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
did her battery run out good job it was not the battery in her rabbit
2006-12-12 11:38:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋