My girlfriend is telling me that when you are dating someone even if it is going to become serious that you should not give him your all until you have been in the relationship for a while meaning at least a year. She said that while you are dating and at least up to the first 6 months of the relationship you should still keep your side pieces (friends with benefits). She said the reason why women get hurt is because they find a man who treats them well in the beginning and then end up hurting them in the end, and since you got rid of all your side pieces now you have no one and you are all alone, but if you keep your side pieces in the beginning then you can easily bounce back when the relationship doesn’t work. Do you guys think that’s how it should be in order to protect yourself? She said you are not suppose to give a man your all because that tends to cloud your judgement and you start not doing certain things like the guy is your husband, and then you are stuck once he dumps you.
2006-12-12 03:09:54 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It all deppends on what you want.
If your objective is to find the right person for a long term relationship, forget the side pieces. Focus on that person, do it well and do it right. You want the foundations of the relationship to be strong. Love and trust. If you have that, would you care about the rest? And never fear to be alone. It is part of the process.
And yes, all the eggs in just one basket. One at the time. If it does not work, there is always another basket to be filled with eggs.
2006-12-12 03:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by Marcos Canada 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My theory is that we all do this, men and women alike. We're so busy the first few months trying to make the right impression that it isn't until later (say, six months) that we feel comfortable enough showing the less-savory parts of ourselves. And then we get into the comfort zone of having a significant other, so that when the call comes in at seven-thirty that he's just going to "stop by" you think, "Okay, he's stopping by. Who cares? I'm not getting out of my pajamas just for this." We all stop making an effort at a certain point. But does that mean we shouldn't be exclusive? That's a question that every man and woman has to answer for him/herself.
2006-12-12 03:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by Monique M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Dad says that a lot of times but in reality, its not that easy.
However, what if both men fall in love with you and are not willing to let you go, what happens?
I think you should keep your eyes and ears open in the relationship until you're sure he's the one. Even if your heart and body says he's the one, you still need to be careful because there are a lot of players out there that keep getting better in their game......some will even introduce you to their parents but ofcourse, this is not a guarantee.
Just be careful.
2006-12-12 03:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your girlfriend is both a slut or has some significant relationship themes. both way, it truly is an icky challenge. As a lady who has been burned--more effective than once--I continually have my shelter up so i do not get harm. even with the undeniable fact that, if i somewhat favor to be with someone I somewhat ought to allow that shelter down, therefore probably putting myself up for figuring out to purchase harm. yet that's existence--it truly is all about taking negative aspects and gaining expertise of from reports. It sounds like both you both have different values and priorities at the same time as it contains relationships, or that she's purely were given a warped sense of what relationships are meant to be like. it truly is meant to about love and laughter--no longer screwing round with persons so that you'll "surely leap lower back at the same time as the relationship doesn't artwork".
2016-11-25 22:48:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should keep dating other people until it becomes more serious, then date your boyfriend exclusively. What you should NOT do is have sex with him. That is what clouds women's judgement, not dating exclusively. Once you start having sex, it is much harder to see him for who he really is, to recognize when you're being used, and to recover when you're dumped. Save sex for after marriage and you save yourself from a whole lot of trouble and pain.
2006-12-12 03:15:06 · answer #5 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is right
its sad when ya have to share though, and chances of heartache and diseases too. And confusion. And it slows down the possible connection you can make.
I guess I don't even know. Been with my wife for 20 years. Times have changed, people haven't that much.
It IS REALLY lonely to have nobody there and have to just hug a pillow.
2006-12-12 03:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋