I have no problem getting her to use the washroom for number one, she's been doing it for ages and ages....but she refuses to do number two. I had some sucess in the summer, but throughout the fall and winter she goes in her pants. When I ask her or tell her to go to the potty (it's pretty obvious when she's going), she puts up her hand and continues her business. I've offered rewards, bribes everything!! Any suggestions?
2006-12-12 02:42:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
She's been out of Pull-ups and diapers for ever...I don't even have any in the house. She is a smart girl and knows what is what. She's got every kind of little girl panty you can imagine, which she chose, and she knows where poop is supposed to go. She has no interest in it at all.
2006-12-12 11:24:40 · update #1
It does seem a little late for that, but eventually she will get tired of getting dirty. Don't reward or bribe. She doesn't need that. She just needs to have the time to understand that if she doesn't want that mess on her body, she will use the toilet. Don't yell or make a fuss or shame her in any way. Just take her to the toilet when you think she needs to go to the toilet or has an accident and if needed help her get the feces off her body and in the toilet and then clean her up.
I would suggest that you take her to the toilet any time her tummy hurts and about 15 minutes after she eats a good meal. You can also try take her when you go to the restroom. She will see you on the toilet doing what you do and it might help her to go to. It seems a little gross, but let her see what it looks like before it gets flushed. Be sure she knows it is normal. Everyone poops. Tell her, "Mommy went to the potty and now I need you to try to go too." Even if she says she does not have to go, tell her you need her to try anyway. Even if 9 times out of 10 she just sits there, eventually you will get the result you want. When she does use the toilet ask her if she feels better. You don't have to jump up and down clap your hands. She will make her own connections and that is more powerful than your claps and "good jobs!" No matter what happens on the toilet, thank her for trying. That teaches good manners and also shows your real appreciation to her for doing what you asked her to do. When I potty trained my daughter, this was amazingly effective for her. Of course, all of us learn in different ways, but most kids want to be like mommy or daddy.
I'm sorry this might be frustrating for you, but we all learn things at different rates. It is interesting that she will urinate in the toilet but not defecate. Have you talked with your pediatrician about this issue yet? I think I would bring it up at the next regularly scheduled visit. Until this just be loving and patient with her. Eventually she will get it, but it will take a lot of patience from you.
*** Added later.... Please don't tell her that she is "bad" or compare her to a "baby" for pottying in her pants. After reading some of these responses you are getting I'm just about to die. No wonder some of our children have such poor self-concepts. I hope the young woman who gave you that horrible advice takes a parenting class before her first child is born. However, I do agree with the woman who suggested letting her pick out her own panties and also let her see what they look like when she makes a mess of them. You can tell her that when she defecates in her pants it will damage her new panties, but please don't make her feel bad. Just show her this is what happens when you do this and this is what happens when you do that. Let her make the connections.
2006-12-12 02:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by Roger S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is going to be tough to give advice on since ive only had and potty trained 4 boys lol so ill do the best i can and tell you what worked for them! First thing you must do if you havent already is throw out ALL diapers and pull ups even at night DONT use them. This is confusing for kids! Line her bed with plastic. You will be doing ALOT of laundry lol but its worth it!!! Take her to the store and let her pick out a few packs of any underwear she wants, when you get home let her put a pair on and tell her that if she goes potty in them she will ruin them. They hate this thought! Make her sit on the potty every 20 mins, make sure she sits on the big potty so she gets use to it. Everytime you head to the bathroom take her with you to watch how its done. When she goes make sure you make a big deal out of it. Even if its pee which you said she has no problem with. But if you reward her with a small candy each time she goes pee imagin what her mind is thinking when she knows you want her to poop in the potty lol. Tell her that if she poops in the potty you will give her something even bigger and better and leave it at that. Usually kids are just scared the first time. So once you get past that first time the feeling of being scared usually goes away :) After a few times you can put up a sticker chart instead of the snacks lol. When she does have an accident in her pants let her know you are not happy with it, and make her change ASAP they will catch on really fast.....:)GOODLUCK!
2006-12-12 02:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I wish I had something to offer i did just want to add that I have a boy that is 3 1/2 and he has been having a hard time doing #2 on the potty. He is scared of it. He will hold it in in public, he won't go while at school or in the car. He will wait until he is either at my parents or here at home. He will urinate in the potty and has for a long long time.
Patience and time seem to be the only way to make it work.
2006-12-12 03:16:19 · answer #3 · answered by Eq2Kitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Am a mom of 3 (9,6&3) and it sounds completely normal, going #2 is always the hardest and takes weeks even months after getting potty trained sounds like your doing all you can do if you notice her starting to go in her pants take her to the potty even if she dont make it she'll caught on after time this part takes patince
but it will happen soon .It took months for 2 of my kids to finally go #2 on the potty another thing you can do is when you go take her to the bathroom with you so she sees it is ok and normal, to them this is all new and strange well good luck I just got my last one completly trained
2006-12-12 03:11:15 · answer #4 · answered by Tonipearl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop the bribes and rewards. If she is used to getting rewards for using the bathroom she will only do so for the reward and then lose interest. This is her issue, not yours. If you bribe her or insist, she will resist. She is the only one who can control this. Let it go for awhile. If she is using diapers or pull ups to go, count out the remainder of them with her and say “After 7 more diapers (pull ups) you get to use the toilet. Make sure she is in clothing that she can get on and off by herself including “Big girl” underwear that she picks out. If she cannot get up on the adult by herself, get her a step stool. When you notice she is needs to go, say to her “It seems like you need to use the bathroom.” Give it no more attention than that. If she soils himself, hold her completely responsible for the cleanup. Don’t shame her by telling her she is gross or calling her a baby! Say to her “It looks like you need to change.” Give it no more attention. It will be hard but don’t give in. She can remove her soiled underwear, shake the poop into the toilet, rinse them out, put them in a bag and into the laundry, clean her body (take a bath if necessary), and put on clean clothing. If you hold her responsible, she will soon learn that it is much easier to use the toilet. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2006-12-12 08:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is it cold in the bathroom? Perhaps she's chilled and doesn't want to take her pants off.
If the problem is that she's refusing to use the toilet even though she knows you know she knows how, it could be she's trying to get to you. Try leaving her in Pull-Ups and not making an issue out of it. Take away the ammo, and it's not a weapon anymore. She'll have to find another way to tweak you.
Keep trying (or stop trying and make her do the work instead). I know it's frustrating, but you'll make it!
2006-12-12 03:01:41 · answer #6 · answered by KD 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The medical professionals say they're going to potty instruct whilst they're equipped and no longer a minute earlier than then. I used to be advised as quickly as they get up within the morning to lead them to take a seat at the potty to get them within the process of doing that. Then have them cross after every meal and proper after nap time, then proper earlier than mattress. This manner you installed the constitution for them to begin. After a even as they're going to select it up on their possess similar to brushing their tooth, taking a tub, consuming, and so forth.
2016-09-03 07:45:28 · answer #7 · answered by dassler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in potty training Hell with my own three year old. Is it possible she is a little constipated and her tummy hurts when she has to go? That's my daughter's problem- her tummy hurts when she has to poop and that causes her to not want to sit down.
2006-12-12 02:58:41 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do not worry she will gwt it i have 4 kids and 1 is a girl she was the hardest to train i know its frustrating but like i said dont worry it will happen give her time one day it will just happen
2006-12-12 04:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont put her in pull ups for starters. Keep her in underware.
If she's obviously pooping, dont ask or tell her to go on the toilet, pick her up, pull her pants down and stick her on the toilet. If she wants to get up and go some place else, leave it in her pants for a while. She wont die from poop touching her skin. She'll stink like holy heck, but she dont die. Think of all those poopy diapers she slept in.
Talk to her constantly about going potty. Remind her its good behavior to go potty in the toilet. Tell her she's not a baby, and you're glad she knows how to tell you when sheneeds to poop, or to go use the toilet. Tell her its yucky to go poopy in your pants. Pooping is a private affair, and some kids have a hard time not feeling vunerable when doing something like that on the toilet. YOu have to reassure them its okay and normal, and it IS what theyre supposed to do. She's always had her little booty covered for that business. Now you're teaching her otherwise.
WHen she does poo in her pants, tell her how gross it is. Change her infront of a mirror if you have one. Talk to her while you're cleaning her up, tell her how sad it is that she would go potty in her pants like a baby, when she's such a big girl. How yukcy it is. Tell her you're sad because you know she can go potty in the potty, because she is so grown up, and you hate to see her act like a little baby. How sad. Tell her 'we dont go potty in our pants, thats yucky and bad."
You're not shaming her, you're reminding her what you expect of her, and how much you know she can do something.
It might help also if, along with not changing her right away, (you want her to see that pooping in your pants DOES have consequence, its unconfortable, smelling, and feels yucky, and it doesnt just magically go away because mom comes running to change you) is to make cleaning her a full production. Showers are excellent for this, you dont want to drown her in a spray of water, so set the shower at as low an angle as possible, and clean her off in there. Baths are fun, showers are not. Showers are all business, and theyre a little chilly. It means more work for you, but it means a big message for her.
Also, not putting pull ups on her while you're out in public is a huge thing. Always keep some extra clothes handy with you. In your purse if you have to. Just a pair of pants and a shirt. You can deal without undies. WHen you go out, put her in a not so important outfit. If she does poo while you're out int he store or what have you, tell her how sad it is, she needs to tell you with words when she has to go potty. She's a big girl and not a baby. Now all these people haev to put up with her acting like a baby and pooping in her pants, how sad! Take her into the bathroom, and change her clothes. Tell her now you have to throw away her other clothes. Just throw them out. This is a last ditch trick Ive found. It works well with boys, and pretty well with girls.
Exepcting her to act like a big kid, and reminding her that you expect it and know she can do it, is a huge thing. Little kids want to be big kids, they want to be grown up. REmindnig her of how she's being a baby when pooping her pants is a huge thing.
NOT LETTING HER POOP HER PANTS when you can see thats clearly what she's doing is another important thing. That should be treated with some sort of instant reaction, a good verbal punishment (telling her how shameful it is and how you expect her to be a big girl, and so on),l and plunking her little naked hiney on the toilet and telling her you expect her to not act like a baby.
2006-12-12 02:59:06 · answer #10 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋