My boyfriend of 6 months, Doesnt think I need guy friends. I guy I was talking (hanging out, talking, not dateing, but it was open to maybe soon) to when we first met emailed me. He is just a friend. It was nothing more and I dont cheat on my boyfriend. I havent talked to him in a few months. When me and my boyfriend got together I tlaked to him a few times around my boyfriend just so he saw I wasnt "hiding" him. I dont want to hurt my boyfriend and talk to this guy if he doesnt want me to but know my boyfriend thinks I will just talk to him behind his back.
2006-12-12 02:39:14 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
theres something that girls doesnt seem to notice.
we fall in love in a different way. Boys are physical so the get in love with the eyes, maybe the smell. You see a pretty girl and voila, love at first sight.
Girls need to "know" about the guy. How he behaves, etc.
So girls might try a guy but to really get in love, they need some time.
now, what we call love, isnt love, but attraction. and theres a phrase very common these days "attraction is not a choice". U dont say, I'll fall in love with this guy. U just feel it.
Attraction is like a tide also, it comes and goes. U can stop feeling attracted by your bf, for a while, but feel attached to him. After a while, you feel attracted to him again.
But if you are in a "not so attracted by him" phase and mr. "just a friend" appears... Attraction to this guy might appear and, even when u feel it wrong, theres nothing you can do about how you feel.
So this "just a friend" guy who is really interested in you (cause he is...ask anyone) IS DANGEROUS to your relationship.
jist a friend girls are not so dangerous, since if he didnt fell in love at first, he wont later. The problem is when he was in love with that girl but she didnt pay him attention, but now that hes not single...SHE WANTS HIM (which proves that girls are just freakin crazy). That kind of girls are dangerous, but girls are smart enough to notice that kind of girls, and scare them away (the slutty ones as my gf calls them).
Well I hope this helps you understand your guy and not just say GUYS ARE JELOUS BASTARDS... cause there a reason for our attitude.
2006-12-12 02:59:46 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your BF wants to control who you talk to and who you hang out with. First it will be this guy friend, next it will be one of your other close friends...see where I'm going here? He also doesn't sound very secure in the relationship, granted it's only been going on for 6 months. And perhaps your BF has been burned by an ex who had a "guy" friend. Who knows.
Frankly this should be a non issue, you did the right thing by being open about it. The larger issue here is that your BF doesn't trust you. The more he doesn't trust you the more he will try to control you. Eventually losing your individual identity. You need to figure out a way to instill trust, that he's the one you've chosen, and that he's the one you end up with at the end of the night. Otherwise, you're headed down a very slippery slope.
2006-12-12 02:47:42 · answer #2 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tricky situation that I think many of us get into. I would think the best thing you could do is maintain honesty. If this guy is a good friend - then is should probably remain that way. As long as you are not flirting with your friend, then your current b/f is going to have to accept the concept that you have friends in your life. By putting up a front that strives to minimize the amount of friends you have - your current boyfriend is doing nothing more than showing you he has confidence and trust issues. Although I think most guys go through this (to a certain degree), I can testify that as long you build trust in your relationship - having close friends is not a problem. Good luck
2006-12-12 02:52:47 · answer #3 · answered by bmwest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right when say that you love this man and he loves you, but that little lie you told and retold made him feel resentment because it makes him vulnerable to a past experience and everyone hates feeling unsure of themselves when in love – but MEN HATE it more because they are groomed from childhood to keep their “true” feelings intact – and perhaps he was ready to give his all but this one little thing made him afraid – and men HATE feeling afraid also. Outside of finding the guy and telling him tell what happened (which is unadvisable at this point) all you can do is give him time and hope that he will evolve and mature into living the happy life that awaits him with a baby and hopefully wife and more children. You can better help him by not arguing with him on this issue – after all you did lie and when he brings it up – you can say “yes, honey, I hope that one lie, which I have regretted and I admit that I was wrong, should not keep “us” from growing into a happy family – I can wait forever, but if we can start being our happiest now I know you won’t regret it – and then give him a big kiss -
2016-05-22 21:37:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Express yourself again that this guy is just a friend. You met him before your boyfriend, but still you chose him to be the one you want to be with. Don't hide it. You don't need to talk to this guy everyday, right. There is no harm in having a boy as a friend. Both of them need to know what the deal is. Tell your friend that your man does get upset, and that you can only be friends, no misunderstandings. Tell your man that he can read whatever you guys write, there is nothing to hide.
2006-12-12 02:46:29 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter had the same problem and still does. The fact is your boyfriend either doesn't trust you or he has a mean jeolous streak to where you need to becareful of. If this issue persists you have a choice..either forget about your guy friends or lose your current boyfriend. Talking about this issue with him apparently doesn't work..it didn't with my daughter either. You need to ask yourself this question..do you want to keep your current boyfriend and risk the relationship you have now with him due to another friendship with another man or tell your guy friend that due to the misunderstanding your boyfriend has with him you can't talk to him.It's one or the other depending how you really feel about your current boyfriend.good luck
2006-12-12 02:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by shuggabhugga05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aries
you have to make your boyfriend trust you
this should not be difficult if he loves you .
I personally dont like to have guy friend unless we work together so we may talk but still we are more of a colleauges
you should not need one if you get along well with your BF.
think about this carefully
2006-12-12 02:47:33 · answer #7 · answered by camilia and dalia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well let me tell you something. You are hurting your b/f regardless. I am in the same situation and I hate it. I was told that she was his friend before I came into the pic and she will always be his friend...end of statement. He buys her xmas gifts and even drives 4 hours away to see her. He did this without me knowing but he slipped up and I found out he lied........So as I said you are hurting him and your relationship. Make up your mind. I know you said that you are not hiding him but there is some attraction that keeps you going back and him emailing you. Don't lie to yourself or him
2006-12-12 02:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by c_my_blueeyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT seems that the boyfriend has trust issue with talking with your guy friend.
2006-12-12 02:43:38 · answer #9 · answered by BRIAN R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate when bf's do that,so what if you talk to your guy friend you havn't talked to him in months? thats shows he doesn't trust you and a realashionship builds on love ad trust. So if he doesn't trust you its not much of a relashionship so talk to him about him and ask him why he doesn't trust you talking to other men get things straight now.
2006-12-12 02:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋