My boyfriend of 2 years has a 6 year old son from his first marriage and we have a 5 month old daughter together, He babies his son I asked him why and he said It was because I treat him diffrently than our daughter.. I am in no way mean or mistreat his son so don't think that. Is that right they are both his children shouldn't he treat them the same.
2006-12-12 02:38:14 · 8 answers · asked by 21&lovinit 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I HAD the same problem but the children were a bit older.
I told my husband if he didn't start playing fair then I couldn't be in this marriage any longer, I will not stand by and have him treat the children differently, so he got the message when I gave him the cold shoulder and started talking divorce and he straightend up.
My thing is, I would of left him to, I asked myself if I could go through life with this situation and my answer was no. It's not fair to my child.
2006-12-12 18:48:44 · answer #1 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are a blended family, i have two boys and my hubby of 5 years has two boys, They all live with us full time and i am the only mom they know and he is the only dad they know. In the begining we had this problem like you guys are having. Its hard to treat the kids all the same and even though you may think you are treating him no different you could possibly be. Do you hug n hold him like you do your own? Do you spend time with just him the way a mom would do? Probably not. Which is understandable. No one wrote a book on these things and what you and your boyfriend are going through is COMPLETLY normal and anyone that is in a blended family like yours and mine goes through things like this. Trust me when i say things will get better. He probably feels sorry for his son. Keep in mind his son is 6 and your daughter is only 5 months. So its not like shes going to see any different treatment. Just do your best to support the relashionship him and his son have and do your best to try and be a mom to this little boy. Children are such blessings and the more love you give them the better and happier your family will be TOGETHER. Goodluck and hang in there :)
2006-12-12 10:43:40 · answer #2 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You may not realize it, but you may be showing preference to your daughter over his son. It's an easy mistake, trust me. Also, babies tend to be coddled and cooed over more than older children. It's a natural thing for people to do. Your boyfriend may see this and is trying to compensate for your lack of attention to his son. This does not mean you are mean or mistreat his son. You just don't give as much attention to him as you do your daughter. As she gets older, it will even out, but you do need to start giving the son more attention than you have been giving him.
2006-12-12 10:51:43 · answer #3 · answered by herefordsun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should both make clear efforts to treat the children the same. Babying them only makes it worse later on when they get older, my fiance's younger brother was babied his whole life (he is the youngest of 3) and now he is a little brat. Talk to your boyfreind and think of ways that you both can seem more fair in the treatment of your children.
2006-12-12 10:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by m_thurson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should both treat both your kids the same - but come on, whats so wrong with him being nice to his son? i baby my sons sometimes. so many fathers dont these days, you should be happy.
but you proberly dont treat him the same, you are not mistreating or anything but i doubt you treat him like you own because he is simpley not.
try extra hard to spend time with him and hug him and maybe dad will stop babying him so much
2006-12-12 12:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah he should treat both his kids the same. but his son is probably just jealous of the baby and thats probably why he is giving his son more attention
2006-12-12 10:47:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He treats his son differently because he feels guilty about destroying his kid's family. He's defensive about it, obviously, since he turned it back around on you. Frankly, don't expect it to change.
2006-12-12 10:50:33 · answer #7 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should both treat both children equally.
2006-12-12 10:43:30 · answer #8 · answered by mommyofthree 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋