An an ex guy of mine that I have seeing for 6 months on and off have just broken up. As he keeps changing his mind about what he wants? and I don't think it is fair on my behalf One minuted we are commited and are officially together he is the nicest and kindest person ever the next minute he is not to sure if he wants that type of commitment right now in his life, but cares alot for me. When we do break up for a couple of days he always calls me to say that he does want to keep seeing each other. Very fickle!! He told me yesterday that right now he can't commit with anyone at this moment as he is not in that frame of mind. Where not on bad terms but I just want to move on really, I wanted to say goodbye for good when he told me this again, but he is getting angry and dosent want this and says that he will be deeply and extremely sad if we were to let what we had be destroyed and that he still wants to remain close, even if it is just as friends. As we gel so much.. What do I do?
2006-12-12 02:28:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you know what you want? If so, stop wasting time with someone who doesn't know what they want. I know you care about him, but he's torn. I also can't say that he's torn for the right reasons. It's seem like he tries to commit everytime he feels he's losing you, then once he feels everything is okay he starts to feel trapped.
Take some time off from each other. Move on a little bit, time comes down the road where your paths may cross and he'll know what he wants, and you will know what you want as well.
Otherwise you'll spend another 6 months in this cycle of going back and forth. Life is too short to wait on someone that doesn't know what they want.
2006-12-12 02:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I strongly suggest that you move on with your life. Yes you both can remain friends, but it is obvious that this guy does not want to have a serious relationship, yet at the same time he does not want to let you go.
It all comes down to you, if you are looking for a relationship with commitment, then this guy seems to be the wrong person. Ask yourself " if he decides to be committed to the relationship in the next minute, can i guarantee that he will not change his mind the next second, minute, hour, day or even a year later.
The decision is YOURS, i hope you make one that you will not regret!!!
2006-12-12 02:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU WANT A REAL RELATIONSHIP, A SECURE ONE, BETTER GO AND TALK TO HIM SERIOUSLY ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. YOU CAN'T JUST RELY ON HIS GOOD MOOD! HE HAS TO MAKE UP HIS MIND WHETHER HE WANT TO BE WITH YOU OR NOT! IF THAT SITUATION SATISFIES YOU- THEN OK, LEAVE IT THAT WAY. I JUST THINK THAT HIS POSSESIVE SIDE IS TOO BIG TOWARDS YOU- EVERY TIME YOU SEPARATE, HE JUST CAN'T BARE THE THOUGHT OF YOU BEING WITH SOMEONE ELSE. AND WHEN YOU ARE BACK TOGETHER HE'S NOT THAT SURE ANYMORE. HE WANTS YOU TO BE ONLY HIS, BUT HE ALSO WANT TO BE FREE TO PROBABLY SEE OTHER GIRLS. THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU WILL GET REALLY HURT IF YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM! HE HAS TO MAKE UP HIS MIND AND DECIDE ONCE AND FOR ALL WHAT HE WANTS FROM YOU. AND IF HE'S NOT READY FOR A COMMITTMENT RIGHT NOW, I AM SURE THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF OTHER MEN OUT THERE THAT WOULD KILL TO HAVE YOU IN A SERIOUS COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP!
2006-12-12 02:37:09 · answer #3 · answered by Stella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok heres the deal... my boyfriend did that same thing to me... when we broke up and he decided he wanted to come back i told him how things were going to be and that it was the last time we were breaking up. i told him if he decided he didn't want to be together anymore after this, it was final, that we were done for good. tell him this and see if it works, if it does, actually go through with it. let him know you are serious and not playing around. if he decides he doesn't want to "committ" leave him alone, for good. don't worry about him getting hurt, he has hurt you plenty!
2006-12-12 02:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by ~karma~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he doesn't want you to call it off -- he's getting what he wants when HE wants it. He has a girlfriend at his convenience. You're like a Chinese restaurant on speed dial -- all he has to do is call and you deliver. So stop delivering.
2006-12-12 02:31:34 · answer #5 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its going to be hard, but walk away and fast. He just wants someone to sleep with. He's not worth it.
2006-12-12 02:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋