My girlfriend has just turned 38 and I'm about to turn 31. There's a 7 and a half year gap between us and we've been together for over a year. We both love each other very much and would like to have a family together. The thing that worries me is her age. I would like to hear from other women in their late 30's and early 40's who perhaps have had a child recently. What was the experience like? Do u think we still have time to have a couple together? My girlfriend hasn't had children yet, but really wants them and I know her clock is ticking. Serious answers only please or thumbs down... thx.
2006-12-12 02:26:56 · 18 answers · asked by Charlie Brigante 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Yes I think you should go for it.
The older she gets the chances of the baby having birth defects also becomes greater. The longer you leave it she will also struggle conceiving because a womans chances of fertility decrease.
Otherwise she (and you) will regret it in a few years time. So if you love each other, and you both want a family, I think you should go for it.
2006-12-12 02:33:04 · answer #1 · answered by quay_grl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mum had a baby at the age of 40 and there were no problems or complications. As long as she's healthy, then it should be fine. The only thing I would say, is that the longer a woman leaves it, the harder it is to get pregnant. You need to think about how badly you want a baby and if you are prepared to risk it by waiting until your girlfriend is older. When my mum was pregnant the doctors tried to convince her to have an abortion because they thought she was too old, but she went ahead with it and my younger sibling is fine.
2006-12-12 02:30:11 · answer #2 · answered by Wafflebox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both love each other and want children then go for it! I don't think her age will have any bearing on how much time you still have as a couple together - that is a challenge that all couples face when they have children.
But you should get cracking, because while many women of her age get pregnant without problems, her fertility will be declining, and it is likely to take longer to happen as she probably isn't ovulating every month.
Good luck.
2006-12-12 02:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by Ricecakes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're going to do it you better get on with it. A woman's fertility really nosedives after 35. If you leave it much longer you might find it doesn't work, and you'll have missed the boat for IVF on the NHS.
Loads of people have kids when they are older. My best friend had hers when she was 40. She was very very tired out by the pregnancy and being up all night with the baby, but everything went fine really.
Make your decision soon! Good luck!
2006-12-12 02:31:42 · answer #4 · answered by mcfifi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 38 and just gave birth to our 4th child.
Pregnancy can be more difficult when you are older, but many women are now starting their families until later in life. There are increased risks for both her and the baby such as pre-eclampsia (toxemia), down syndrome and other genetic disorders. However, with proper medical care and taking care of herself (nutrition and exercise) it should be fine.
She really needs to consult a physician first.
I don't see how the age difference between you guys is relevant, unless you are thinking that you aren't ready to "settle down" with a family. A baby is a *lifetime* commitment.
And, speaking of commitment, what is wrong with actually being married before having kids?
Best of luck to you!
2006-12-12 02:40:51 · answer #5 · answered by Sherral 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 39 when I conceived my son. You certainly need lots of energy, but if you feel young thats fine! Don't put it off too long in case you have problems. you'll need time to check that out if you do (private is faster if you can afford it) Obviously some genetic problems are more likely in older couples, but there are tests (check on the web for nose bone scan test for Downs). If you have problems - to try hitting the target as quickly as possible- get yourselves a book on natural fertility - or check on line, taking temperature each morning gives good indication of when ovulating. Good luck and have fun!
2006-12-12 02:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by Em 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is still somewhat safe to have a child at this point in her life, however time is ticking. The closer she gets to 40 the higher the risk of having mental retardation and/or downs. If she wants a child but you don't, don't string her along. if you do want a child, get to work on it.
2006-12-12 02:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by PDK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know from experience what it is like but my sister in law had her first and only daughter when she was 38 years old and she had a normal healthy pregnancy. They do extra tests to check for things like downs and things like that, But even if thats the case you wouldnt love your child any less. I know a few women that have given birth in their late 30's and had normal healthy pregnancies :) i would say go for it! Goodluck!!!
2006-12-12 02:30:00 · answer #8 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can not answer for myself but I can tell you that my stepmother had her first child in her thirties. The doctors watched her progress well and all came out fine in the end. As long as your gf is in good health and the docs say ok then go for it.
That is as long as you are ready for a child also. Do not let age be the deciding factor, make sure that you both are ready for this life long commitment.
2006-12-12 02:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I waited until later in life to have kids. She was 40 when our second was born. There are some advantages to waiting until you are a bit older to have kids. You tend to have a bit more wisdom and patience and, on average, are a bit more financially stable. On the down side, kids are very energetic and, regardless of how good a shape you keep yourself in, as you get older your tolerance for maniac craziness tends to diminish.
2006-12-12 02:33:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋