this is a little off topic of my previous questions... but
when we first met, my bf asked me how many guys i had been with. we weren't dating or maybe we had been for a day, but i told him 5. I have been with more but we've been together for a year and he hasn't asked. He looks at porn(f***ks other girls in his head) but i have been with more guys than him physically. Do i have to tell him. I mean I have always been safe, and i had been checked before and after we hooked up. so....
I guess i don't really see a problem with not telling him but if it's being dishonest then maybe i should. It was before we met so... But then i think he is being dishonest because he does the whole porn thing like many guys do and he tries to hide it.
2006-12-12 02:25:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Trust me on this, don't tell him how many it's been, and on the flip side of that don't ask him how many it's been for him either. If you're both serious about one another those things aren't important!
2006-12-12 02:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by Doug H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave it alone, unless it is a frequent topic that the two of you discuss. Why should it matter to him anyway? My husband has no clue how many people I have slept with. I honestly don't think it's any of his concern. We all have a past...good or bad. Why does he need to know? Would it change the way he feels about you now? If it wouldn't, why know? If it would change his view on you, he needs to move on. And as far as the porn...EVERY guy does it. As long as he is doing that, and not really sleeping with other women, I would leave it alone. If it bothers you that he thinks he is hiding it from you...I say confront him. Just let him know that you are aware of the fact that he watches porn. I wouldn't tell him to stop...he will do it anyway. I would feel better with him knowing I was on to him!
2006-12-12 02:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by amanda r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't bother telling him.
I mean you are right to tell him if you are feeling guilty about it but other than that there is no reason to tell him. It is not going to make him stop doing the porn thing.
Maybe you could ask him to watch porn with you or let him catch you relieving stress without him and see how he reacts to that.
All guys are in to porn, its just a matter of what kind of porn they are watching. I wouldn't date a guy that gets himself off to women and animals or men on men. That should send off warning signals to you.
2006-12-12 02:32:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to tell him. What you did before you meant him is none of his business. As long as you have gotten checked it doesn't really matter how many people you have been with. Sometimes it is best to leave the past in the past.. As long as you are being faithful and not decieving him now then you are being honest.
2006-12-12 02:32:08 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...he does the whole porn thing like many guys do and he tries to hide it.
>>>then you should firstly consider if he can be the one dating with you. Couples must be honest to each other under the premise that both are true to each other.
2006-12-12 02:33:55 · answer #5 · answered by kiki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him because no matter what number you give him he'll be upset and that could lead to other questions, like am I the best lover you ever had, etc... If he is not you still end up lying. So you can't tell them everything and it works both ways.
2006-12-12 02:38:34 · answer #6 · answered by mindquest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its better u dont tell him coz he'll think u've hidden a lot from him, not just this and he\ll not trust u anymore. so beet keep it a secret to urself. i know its being dishonest but better than having future problems. best of luck
2006-12-12 02:33:31 · answer #7 · answered by submerged_emotions 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you relli dont have to tell him if you dont want to but if you do let him know it was before you met him and you are been faithful to him but if it starts problems between you guys blow him off fast probabaly he could hook up with one of dem porn stars.
2006-12-12 02:31:28 · answer #8 · answered by camden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Zoey,
There is ABSOLUTELY NO NEED to tell your LATEST boy-friend about ALL the other boys that you have been with - as he ALREADY knows that you have been with at least 5 others - so the number of others besides that shouldn't really matter. And as they say: WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW, WON'T HURT HIM !
And I will be very blunt here and say, that IF you have already been through so many others, then the chances are that this latest one will not be the last - SO WHY SPOIL a perfectly good relationship - while it lasts, by bringing up your past ?!?!
As for him watching pornography, it is almost the same as females fantasizing about making out with their "Prince Charming" and I know a LOT of females who get very turned on while reading very passionately romantic books or stories. So the two things are very similar - TOTAL FANTASY, only his is more visual than yours !
2006-12-12 02:46:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its none of his business. However, since you are stressing over it, go ahead and tell him. He doesn't really sound like a prize by the way.
2006-12-12 02:27:47 · answer #10 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋