I would like the advice of this board in regards to a relationship scenario (a bit serious).?

Question

Hello everyone,
I have recently used this board for reference with relationships, and have found it to be useful. I am having a bit of a crisis as of now and I need your help.

Background information:
I am 19 and she is 17. I am currently enrolled at a university that is decent. She is dually enrolled through her high school. I am a bit of a partier but also studious and dilligent. She is extremely studious and does many school oriented activities, such as: quiz bowl, model U.N., and German club. She admits often to being a "nerd"

At about the end of October, I started to get a crush on this girl in my German class in college. We had never talked, but I was wowed with her intelligence and ambitions. On Nov. 8th, I walked her out of class and talked to her a little bit. She told me where she wanted to go, what she wanted to do, hobbies, recreation, etc.

I then started talking to her after class and walking her to her car (parents were dropping off and picking up)

We went to see Borat on Nov. 22 and later went out to eat at a local American restaurant. I then took her home and kissed her goodnight. We went out again last saturday, which was the 9th. We went to an alright pizza restaurant that she picked out, then I took her ice skating. After that we went to the park under the clear night sky and I told her that she was beautiful and unique. We then kissed for a couple of minutes. Last night (Dec. 11th) after class, she told me that she doesn't want a relationship right now.
Her: I'm really sorry to tell you this but I don't want a relationship right now.
Me: What? You waited until the last day of class to tell me this?
Her: Don't give me that look.
Me: Did I do something wrong? Is it another guy?
Her: No, you were great. I just don't want to get involved right now.
Me: Every other girl that I've dated has just gotten drunk and had sex with some random a*******. I thought you might be different.

Her: I'm sorry, but it's O.K. I can take care of myself. I really just want to be friends. I'm really sorry that I led you on. I should have told you when we went out.
Me: And you waited until now to tell me this?
Me: You think we might be able to try again later, in a couple months maybe?
Her: Well, maybe, I dunno.
Me: Alright, that's ok. Guys just aren't your thing, huh...
Her: Well... no.
Me: What?
Her: I'm really telling the truth.
Me: Your eyes lie.
Her: I'm sorry.
(I kinda got choked up a little bit here)
Her: There will be other women who will very much enjoy the fact that you've got chivalry and hold doors open for women.
Me: I must not have met them yet then.
Her: You will one day.
Me: Is it alright if we still talk? I promise not to do anything crazy.
Her: Yeah, of course, that's fine.
Me: O.K., let me just kiss you one last time.
(we kissed) Good night.

I must say that if you've been reading up until this point. Thanks.

I want your interpretations on this dialogue and what it could possibly mean. I'm 99% sure that she doesn't go out and party or get drunk. She also wants to go to college in Oregon. I think that may also contribute to the way she acted. However, her behavior on this night was radically different than at the end of the second date. On the drive home on the second date we both found out that we liked 90s rock (Semisonic, Everclear, Bush). She also said that she would burn me a CD, and sounded quite happy. I also walked her up to her house and kissed her goodnight. I am really upset with how she handled things. I think she picked the wrong time to take care of the situation and that it was rude and immature of her. I just needed to vent my fustrations and anxieties. I've been doing alright as of late. It bothers me though that she has her sights set quite high and I'm going to an O.K. college. Thank you.

Sorry, but I also forgot to mention that in the middle of the dialogue I asked her if she still wanted to have fun and experiment as a human. She said no. I think that this question might have given the wrong impression. But is it O.K. to ask it in this manner?

Answer 1

You did not finish the question, but if you like someone else and want to get to know them better, then to be decent, you have to finish with the other person first. One needs to be honest decent and faithful in today's society as it seems to be becoming a thing of the past sadly. So if you do want to move on, dont keep the other girl dangling on a string as they say, do the decent thing and let her move on too

Answer 2

i don't think she's your gal. if she's already said she doesn't need a realationship then why pursue. besides i think she wants to eat the cake and save it too. maybe you should just end it there but keep in touch as normal acquaintances. giving a second go to such a relationship usually doesn't work and leads to heartbreak.

sorry dude.........i was just being frank.......dont be disappointed, its not the end of the world. I am sure you'll come across better women!

Answer 3

So, now you're at a crossroad. you can:
a. do something dumb and fast and lose her forever
-or-
b. take it slow. get to know her better, find out some common interests, and surprise her with something small but meaningful. if she's excelling in german, write her a love poem. ask your teacher for help with words you're not sure on, because making a stupid error wouldn't help your situatuion. it sounds a little sappy, but it will work, i promise.

if you continue trying to woo her against her wishes, she may get irritated and tell you to back off.

but if you're careful, you may be able to change her mind for the better.

Answer 4

I still haven't found the question.

Answer 5

whats the question again?

Answer 6

ok and?