Question for married bipolars?

Question

I am bipolar and I sometimes blow off the handle at my husband for no reason at all. He has a bad temper sometimes and hits me. My ex did the same thing. Am I just bound for any man to hit me because they cannot deal with me?

I am already seeing a therapist and am on meds, I still have my bad days though.

Answer 1

I am bipolar and married. Before I met my husband, I was also in several abusive relationships. Men who abuse women will do so no matter what and will find any excuse to justify their behavior. It's a problem in them, not you. What was my problem to deal with was believing that I deserved to be treated well and to be loved. You deserve the same things.

I made my husband fully aware of my illness when we started dating and made it clear that I would not be the easiest person to live with at times. He accepted this, and accepts me. He makes sure I stay on my meds, comforts me when I need it, and leaves me alone when I need time to myself. I, too, have lost my temper with him for no reason on occasion, for which I always apologize once I've calmed down (and the reason for it most of the time was needing my meds adjusted, or having missed a dose), and he's very understanding. He doesn't take it personally. Above all, he never has and never would hit me, for any reason. There is NO excuse for ANYONE to hit you, particularly your husband who is supposed to love and care for you "for better or worse, in sickness and in health." Bipolar disorder is a disease, not a justification for abuse.

I highly recommend that you see your doctor to have your meds adjusted if necessary, and to get some counseling so you can try to avoid flying off the handle for no reason. It's not always easy, but it's not impossible. You also need to realize that it's not ok for anyone to mistreat or abuse you, and it may be easier to do that with the help of a counselor. Your husband also needs counseling and to learn that it's never ok to hit you. If he's not willing to get counseling, or if he can't/won't deal with your illness, he needs to leave. If, even after counseling, he continues to abuse you, you need to kick him out or leave to protect yourself.

I wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my thoughts.

Answer 2

You need to get some couseling too. You are not bound to always have a man that hits you unless you refuse to leave. Don't blame your bi-polar for his hitting you, it's not the reason. No woman should ever be hit by a man, regardless of wether she has a disorder or not. what he is doing is wrong, and you don't need to blame yourself. Keep taking your meds and talking to your doc and get some couseling on the side. It can help you out with these feelings of blaming yourself. Good luck.

Answer 3

i do no longer imagine my spouse is bipolar, yet she does have melancholy. only be prepared for the united statesand downs. study as a lot as you could about the concern so that you already know what you're shifting into. A courting with someone who's bipolar or who has melancholy can try a courting. It takes an excellent type of being concerned and sufferers.

Answer 4

I am married to a bi-polar who finally got some treatment for it that was adequate but not too much. Untreated, it was really hard when some moments could be so absolutely perfect and then there was so much pain because of ruminating, irritablility, temper etc. Mild meds have made a big difference as in what fits for him without too much of anything and fits his specific symptoms.
No one deserves to be hit! That is just plain wrong. It may be that you keep getting drawn to people that are abusive because you don't believe that you deserve better, but you do.
Call a local women's center crisis line and you can talk anonymously to someone to find out what sort of support is out there in your community. You can find something in your area by contacting http://www.rainn.org
There is a 24 hr help number listed there, just in case you can't find something in your local area.

Answer 5

Sweetie, for one thing you need to find a man thats understand ing like i got. I have bipolar and i'm married and i got 2 kids. yes its hard, but the main thing is you need to work hard to try and control it, i battle it everyday. i'm on meds too. yeah they help but there are still times i blow up at my hubby too. sure he'll yell back but he does do the smart thing and leaves for about an hour or so and goes to his friends. when i calm down he comes home and we talk. Remember before you think your gonna blow find someone to talk it out with it helps. If you have any other questions feel free to email me.

Tammy

Answer 6

There is no good reason for a man to hit you. You should leave him if he doesn't stop. Trust me, I lived with an abusive man for years. There are good men in this world who will treat you with the respect you deserve. The abuse escalates over time. He will hurt you badly or even kill you.

Answer 7

well, I say no. I have hit my then girlfriend now wife because of the same thing. Hitting a woman is a dumb idea, I dont care how mad you get. you and your man or future men need to be able to talk about your problems and there needs to be a plan when that happens. so no, you are not destined to be hit by men all your life. Dont stand for it.

Answer 8

Please leave this man, Being bi-polar gives no one a reason to hit someone. I think you are just married to the wrong man and he canno't deal with it so he uses violence. He has no right at all to hit you ever!! Get away from him!!!

Answer 9

It has ZERO to do with your disease. You're chosing inappropriate me. Leave him now and see a doctor about medication to keep your symptoms in check.

Answer 10

this has nothing to do w/your bipolar.leave these guys.you deserve better..get some counseling