How do I let my fiance know that having our first child is not the end of our lives?

Question

My fiance is against us having our child. He is convinced that it will be the end of our relationship, and he has something negative to say about any words of encouragement that I bring to him. I don't know what to do. I want to have our child together with both of us happy about it.

Answer 1

A little baby, if anything, will bring the whole relationship together, because it will be sooo much fun raising the baby!

HAppy Holidays!

Answer 2

Be open-minded about your priorities in life. Having a child would definitely take some time and freedom from what you usually do before. This is what he's thinking. On the other hand, the earlier you have a child , the better, because when you grow older, your patience seems to lessen and harder to keep things up because you loose a lot of sleep. The child's energy and enthusiasm to be like dad or mama will definitely be rewarding. I am now happily playing with both my wife and daughter during recreation now. My daughter is 5 years old and I teach her tennis. It's really is fun to have a kid and makes a kid out of you too :-)

Answer 3

It took my husband (boyfriend at the time) until I was showing and then when he could feel the baby kicking when he really accepted it all... he was really nervous about the whole thing. Once our son was born, he was even better! Now, do make sure you have a strong relationship... because having a baby can be strenuous! My husband isnt very patient, and hates it when babies cry... so sometimes I get upset with him getting upset over our son crying... and let me just say our son cries a LOT when something is wrong- teething for now... it was colic the first 2 and a half months. So it can be tough- and wears you down... I feel 20 yrs older now after having my son. But he is such a great blessing and makes us giggle a lot. My husband and I are both on the same page, and do have a strong relationship, but I also have to let him know when to calm down. It can be tough when you have your baby crying, and your husband getting mad because of it. Or like last night, we were up allll night because our son would not sleep on his own... every time we went to put him down (after he was asleep in our arms), he would arch his back and cry...every single time... I ended up taking him in bed with me- which I don't really do at all anymore- he loves his own bed. I think he could also be getting sick as I am... so that might have been the problem... but lack of sleep and a baby that won't sleep, and a husband that gets mad over it... whew! It wears me out! To help the situation, I usually take over instead of taking turns with him.... I have more patience with it. I feel my son is worth it all though- he's great! Very loving and caring, and wow that first year went by so fast! It's amazing watching them grow and learn new things! so not sure if you are indeed pregnant right now, if you are not, then try to build that relationship... if you are pregnant, continue to build it... and hopefully eventually he will accept it. When you see your baby for the first time, you will see how much love you have for him/her... its so much love I can't describe! So neat to see this is what you both created! See if there are any classes you both can take- parenting, child birthing, etc. A book I recommend- Pregnancy for Dummies- my husband bought it for me after finding out I was pregnant. It was really helpful. There's a lot of good books out there too you can get as well. Goodluck, and I hope it works out for you!

Answer 4

im sorry for your difficulties. first of all, dont let this effect your health! everything that happens to you happens to that baby. worrying about something that might not change can cause damage to both of you. on a more positive note, he is still there with you, isnt he? thats a good sign. if he really didnt want this child, he would have left already. i was a mother at 19, and my parents were the same way. one look at that child, and everything changed. he may be scared of the idea of being a father. and lets face it, he thinks some of his time is going to that child. it is to a point but he has to get over that. that child is a product of your love, and even though its come at an awkward time, its meant to be!

Answer 5

This is actually a no brain-er....When two people want to spend the rest of they're life's together, the first and foremost thing you have to do is find out if your both compatible. This includes wanting to have children. If one does and one doesn't want to have children, there's a huge problem. There are only three things you can do before the sound of marriage and that's. agree not to have them but you will feel empty up the road. #2, get him to understand that children are in your picture of marriage and he needs to decide wether or not your the right one for him or #3, and that's...maybe you should really reconsider if this is the man you want in your...till death do us part marriage knowing that he doesn't want them.

Answer 6

Once your baby is born chances are he will change his mind. It is amazing what a little baby does to a person. A friend of mine had a total change of heart in accepting his child once she was born and he first laid eyes upon her so he does happen. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you and your fiance.

Answer 7

What was his parent's relationship like? Particularly after the birth of younger siblings?

There is probably a root cause to his feelings, and that will need to be addressed. Possibly you can talk it out between the two of you, possibly you are going to need help.

Answer 8

wow why would you marry a man thats so negative even about his own child? You didnt make this baby on your own and thats what i would tell him. He can either let it destroy your relashionship or he can be a man and a father and learn to deal with it. Theres no reason for him to be angry about it....You cannot force him to be happy or want this. But take care of yourself, its too late for him to "reconsider". GOODLUCK :)

Answer 9

Show him married couples with children who are extremely happy

Answer 10

Don't worry about it - he'll soon change his attitude when he meets his baby for the first time!!!! He would have to be really cold hearted not to change his opinion!!