My Bestfriend is getting married in May, This is the first time I've been a bridesmaid in a wedding where I wasn't related to the Bride so I'm not certain if I purchase my Bridesmaid dress or if the Bride does.
Also if I do pay for my dress, would it be rude of me to ask if she can pick a cheaper dress as I am just barely affording my plane ticket to fly out to where she lives and am expecting a child next month so I don't really have a lot of money.
2006-12-12 01:56:29 · 29 answers · asked by Just Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would just like to add since it seems by some of the answers that people think that I am being rude although there not outright saying it, It has nothing to do with the dress style or whatever. I just wasn't sure who it was that did the buying.
As for the person who said I shouldn't have agreed to be a bridesmaid if I didn't want to buy the dress. The problem is not whether I want to buy it or not the problem is that with a brand new baby on the way I cannot afford to buy the dress. But it doesn't matter thank you for making me feel like crap with your answer.
Everyone else I would like to thank you for your answers, I think where the cheapest plane ticket to even fly to the wedding is $200 I probably wont even be able to make it to the wedding.
2006-12-12 05:22:05 · update #1
You have to pay for the dress. You can talk to her about the price and see if she can work something out with you perhaps find a less expensive dress. If it gets too expensive you can always bow out
2006-12-12 01:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by wingedgirl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I find it HILARIOUS that the person who said she was a bridesmaid for her mom said the bride always buys the dress. Of course she does, sweetheart, she's your mom!
Typically, the bride does not pay for the dress unless she is well off herself.
Check out some of the dresses at Target (they have a new line of high quality party dresses). Most sell for $50 or less.
If your friend knows your situation and is making you pay for your plane ticket, she should be aware that not everyone will be able to afford an extravagant dress.
Just make sure you have a talk with her well in advance of the wedding before she chooses the dresses.
2006-12-12 12:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Typically the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses (as the groomsmen rent their own tuxes). However I have seen weddings where the bride chose an excessively expensive dress...so she split the cost with the bridesmaids. But...this was the exception rather than the rule.
Remember, this is your best friend...talk to her. Tell her your situation and I'm sure you all will be able to work something out. But...make sure you don't put it off. If she is having other attendants and you want to change the dress, you'll have to get this approved and communicated to them BEFORE they buy the dress. In all the places that I've bought bridesmaid dresses, all sales were final--they would only exchange a dress for the same dress/size if there was a material defect in the dress. If someone has already purchased this dress you may be stuck with going this route.
Good luck--remember she loves you...she asked you to share her wedding day with her. Also, congrats on your upcoming birth...I'm sure this is a very exciting time for you.
2006-12-12 02:09:24 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own dresses and chip in for the Bridal Shower. These are things to consider before accepting the duty of bridesmaid. However, since you have to fly in and spend all that money on a plane ticket, you could possibly talk to her about looking for a cheaper, but similar dress, or maybe she'll offer to pay half. You never know, but she won't either unless you make her aware of your current financial situation. Obviously, she cares about you a great deal to ask you to be in her wedding. I'm sure she'll understand.
2006-12-12 02:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless the bride has offered, then you pay.
I, personally, think it's kind of rude for her to pick a dress without thinking of the maids' incomes. But, that's in the past.
There are actually websites that sell bridesmaid dresses at discount brides. Try: http://www.netbride.com/ Give them the brand and style number, and they may be able to get it to you at a discount. You can also do an internet search for other sites like this one.
As a last resort, mention your money troubles to her. If she isn't a total bridezilla--and you handle it tactfully, of course--she may offer to help pay, especially if you offer to pay back over time.
Good luck!
2006-12-12 14:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses.
If money is that tight, you can discuss with her if she is able to "go halvsies" with you, or if she can select a less expensive dress, or if you can do a payment plan with her or something... Many brides these days just name a color and the bridesmaids all go get their own gown in that specified color.
If she is a polite bride, she should be willing to work with you to find some way that you can afford to be in the wedding party. (Unfortunately, polite brides seem to be in short supply these days, based on previous Yahoo question I answered earlier this evening!)
2006-12-12 12:59:22 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would buy your own bridesmaid gown. However, if you are very concerned about the cost, you should be discussing it with her. Actually, most brides are very reasonable, and try to keep the cost down. However, if you are really tight for money, you should not have accepted - best friend, or no best friend. She perhaps should have also realized the position you would be in with a new baby.
Talk with her first, before you get it in your head to quit. Maybe you and your husband can drive with the baby to the wedding.
2006-12-12 11:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford the plane ticket you can't afford the dress. Tell your friend that you are going through some rough financial times and was completely honored when she asked you to be bridesmaid, but it seems now you will not be able to do it. Tell her sooner than later, because if she decides to ask another person to be in the wedding, she should ask that person sooner than later so that person doesn't feel like a "filler bridesmaid". Your friend will understand.
2006-12-12 07:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by Jodi813 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to pay for your dress and you might not want to ask her to change the dress because it could cause some hard feelings. (She has a lot of decisions to make and although your complaint is legit, it is unfair to ask a bride to change the dress because one bridemaid is unhappy with the style, color, price etc.) If you know the style of the dress you might want to look online to see if you can buy that dress in your size ff ebay or something. If you can't and you do need to buy it, you can alway sell it afterwards so you can at least get some of your money back. Good Luck!
2006-12-12 02:51:28 · answer #9 · answered by LLL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bridesmaids are responsible for buying their dresses, shoes, etc...if cost is an issue, you should talk to the bride and let her know. If nothing can be done, then you should attend the wedding and not be a bridesmaid...your friend will completely understand!
2006-12-12 02:10:40 · answer #10 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it kinda depends on the bride, some brides do purchase the dresses, others ask the brides maids to do it, I don't think it would be rude or anything for her to either pick a cheaper dress or ask her if she can help you with the cost, she should understand that with a baby on the way and other expenses to get there that money is tight. Congrats on the baby!
2006-12-12 03:20:07 · answer #11 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋