2006-12-12 01:41:23 · 22 answers · asked by ELSIE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
nope alot of people have this problem because there father is a deadbeat just leave him alone
2006-12-12 01:44:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate is a very strong word.. you can dislike someone very much for their ways and actions but do not hate. Be angry with him and tell him that you are, for not being there for you especially when you needed him. But don't hate. Hate will eat your heart out like a cancer and it will cause you to have problems later in life. Your father had a reason evidently not to get involved in your life, it's sad and eventually he'll regret his behavior within time if he's human.Parents do stupid things sometimes and he's one thats stupid not being involved with his child but he will regret this. But don't hate him for what he's done just don't like his behavior.Have you ever asked him why he never participated in your life? Ask him.He must have had his own reasons..not a good reason as I see it but there is always a reason for everything that happens whether it's a good reason or bad reason.He'll be sorry later but don't let him get to you.Keep your head up and go on with your life even though he wasn't around. This has made you a better and stronger person than he'll ever be!
2006-12-12 10:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by shuggabhugga05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate stems from anger. Both things are never good for the person feeling it. You cannot go through life this way as it will just cause bitterness for you in the long run. Try to either talk to him about your feelings or get someone to talk to about your feelings of anger such as a counselor. If you decide to confront your father then be prepared to be strong because we do not know what his reaction will be either. Under no circumstances should you set yourself up into a position to be hurt over and over. Good luck with this and I hope that you can forgive him cause that will be better for you in the long run.
2006-12-12 09:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hate him why should you care if it's bad to do so? I was divorced many years ago and the choice was not mine but my wife's. No cheating or abuse was involved, she just got tired of being married to me. I almost killed myself twice during the next five years. All I could think about was my children and wanting to go home. If I saw a car drive by that looked like my old car I watched it forever. My Wife often had the kids away somewhere when I came to visit (Scheduled) and it was driving me insane. I ran away. I left the area and tried to get my head together before I made a serious error of a fatal nature. My kids were always provided with a way to reach me but they never did. I did not want to push myself on them telling myself that they would contact me when they were ready. I just kept them informed of my address and phone. When they got older they contacted me and we all now live in the same town and see each other often. They know what happened now but did not then. I would not hate anyone until I heard thier side of the story.
2006-12-12 09:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by Robert P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know all about how it feels when a father isn't there for you! No matter the situation, You need closure to go on with your life. Hate is a strong word, I have said that so many times about my Father. I now try to look at things in his eyes. Why he wasn't there. And Still I want to hate hem rather then understand his situation.
2006-12-12 10:31:42 · answer #5 · answered by ROCKYTOPLOVER_2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay..I understand where you are coming from...and I have had to learn my lessons...here's my advice: Hate is a strong word...and no..don't hate your father...love him because he is a part of you...love him because he IS your father...love him because you can show him the love that he didn't show you. This is not the easy road to take...but it is the road that is best for you to take if you ever want to heal and not hate your father. One thing to remember...years from now..he will look back at his life and realize that he sucked as a father and let you down throughout his life...that's a heavy burden that he will have to live with for the rest of his life. You can learn from his mistakes as a father and realize that you will never do those things as a parent and better yourself from his mistakes. Also...(I'm not sure) but his parents may not have been there..which in turn made him like them. I pray that you find peace with yourself and your father. While holding a grudge with your father...remember to thank those people who were there for you!! Happy holidays!!
2006-12-12 09:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by KristinDouglas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is bad to hate anyone, it is a very powerful emotion. And and a very destructive emotion. You need to get past this and stop hating so you can be productive and live a successful life. This does not mean you need to have a relationship with him, but you need to get past the hate, so it does not keep you from being the best you can be. You can hate the behaviors however, do not hate him. He will pay for his lack of attention and care of his children. Trust this, In the bible it talks about men/women who do not care for their children. My thoughts are God is not pleased with this behavior. And unfortunately you are not alone. Society has been dealing with this issue for sometime now. Try to relive yourself of this non productive emotion of hate. It will not serve you any good. Just come to the conclusion, that it has more to do with who he is as a human being and less to do with you. I would feel sorry for him. Pray for him. Perhaps one day he will be able to apologize or explain his behaviors. But don't hold your breath. Just take this as a lesson learned and a very painful one that you could not control. And be a better parent to the children you bring into the world. Not following his example. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-12 09:48:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know I hated my father for a long time because he wasn't around for me and my sister and my brother both sister and brother is dead and my father is dead. All I have now is my mother and my two children and husband. I have stop the hate and start loving myself because life is too short. Forgive your father and start living your life. My Father never could keep a job and we would have been living outside or on welfare if he stay anyway so it was the best he left.
2006-12-12 09:54:34 · answer #8 · answered by Linda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Elsie,
It is never wrong to have feelings. You may feel hurt and betrayed because your father wasn't there for you.
However, forgiving someone is a better option for many reasons. YOU will feel better inside. Holding on to hatred can cause you to have problems in your other relationships in life. It can also be bad for your health!
You will find there are no perfect people on the earth (at this time). We all make mistakes. Some make bigger and more mistakes than others! ;-) As we learn to forgive others we can also learn to forgive ourselves and use our own mistakes as learning experiences allowing us to become better people rather than being doomed to REPEAT the mistakes of our parents.
So you have the RIGHT to whatever feelings you choose. You have the RIGHT to hate your father if you want to. You also have the RIGHT to forgive him and find healing for yourself.
Allison Marie Saad
http://healthynatural.myarbonne.com
2006-12-12 09:51:20 · answer #9 · answered by healthynaturalskin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's bad to hate him. You can't help how you feel. It is always good to forgive though. Can you find a way to forgive him and then get on with you life? Just because you forgive him and don't hate him anymore doesn't mean you have to love him or spend all kinds of time together. Forgiving him is the first step and maybe those things will come later. He has to earn your heart and trust now.
2006-12-12 09:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by Beach bum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it would be hard to forgive him?
My father died 8 years ago (2 to the power 3) and I miss him a lot. If your father is now trying to be nice with you, forgive him and have a nice and happy life. If not, you will never be truely happy because you hate your father.
Try to love him a bit.
2006-12-12 09:44:36 · answer #11 · answered by eth1_hifi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋