i love him very much and he is the greatest guy out there. we just broke up 3 months ago and i know we aren't getting back together. for the last 3 years he was my best friend and to be honest i don't know when i am going to be asked out to dinner again by a really great guy. the break up wasn't mean or caused by cheating. we broke up because he just didn't feel the same way for me. we don't speak to each other or see each other and the last time we saw each other i was getting my things from his house. he asked me to call him on his birthday and i told him i would. we were on the phone for over an hour and then i stupidly asked him to lunch. he couldn't that day but text me he would love to have dinner another night. he called me the next day to make plans. we both don't think its a good idea to have dinner but we still made plans to have dinner next week. what do you guys think? no mean answers please!
2006-12-12 01:14:24 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
who the hell said anything about having sex with him? sweetie i am a woman that actually can have dinner with a man and not go to bed with him. say it with me, self respect. fyi nice picture of yourself, really classy and if you can't tell i wrote classy i meant trashy
2006-12-12 01:26:34 · update #1
this for the girl: were you really serious about he would pay and expect something? seriously what kind of guys do you meet? if you ever meet a guy that do think this way run away very fast.
2006-12-12 01:33:16 · update #2
I would cancel if i were you. I know you probably miss him so much and would love to see him but it will make it harder for you when you have to say goodbye. Tell him you cant do it and that your sorry, but please dont go. trust me it'll hurt you so much and who knows maybe with more time apart he might start to miss you, if he wants to see you then theres a chance he may still have feelings for you and given time might want you back.Often we dont realise how much we love someone until theyre gone.
"Dont it always seem to go
That you dont know what youve got
Till its gone" joni mitchell-big yellow taxi
2006-12-12 01:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Can't get closure if the doors still open....If you want to keep the relationship ( friends, lovers ,booty calls, etc.) open, then discuss EXACTLY what each of you want from each other. If you want closure, both of you need to go your separate ways so you can each look beyond the past. You can always remember the good times, but if you clutter up those memories with new ones ( maybe not so good ), you may do damage that can't be erased. There is nothing wrong with sending cards or chatting once in a while but if you get in too deep you can screw up what seems to be a pretty decent friendship. If you BOTH think a dinner date is not a good idea, maybe you should both try something a little less intimate. If you both want a meaningless encounter, just for nostalgic purposes, agree that's what it is going to be, and its on both of you.
2006-12-12 01:36:15 · answer #2 · answered by twostories 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I did go out to dinner with an ex right before heading off to college. We hadn't seen each other since the breakup and we both needed some closure. It was nice. Just stay away from reminiscing -- that could put you in a vulnerable position -- and don't talk about what happened to the relationship -- it's done and over.
As long as it's just a casual, friendly, light-hearted meal, go for it. If you have suspicions that he'll try to win you back, or that you'll break down and make a fool of yourself, don't go.
2006-12-12 01:17:24 · answer #3 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont see a problem with going to dinner if you both can go with the realization that is a dinner between two friends...if you are looking for more out of the situation then I think you are just setting yourself up for more hurt. You are aware that he does not have the same feelings. If he is a great guy and the ending of the relationship was on good terms there is no reason you can not remain friends with him ecspecially if he is a great guy.
2006-12-12 01:19:07 · answer #4 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your setting your self up to get hurt again you where not the one how broke this up and spending time over dinner may have you having feelings for him again and what are you going to do if he gets up after dinner and says good bye again?
the wounds are still fresh. I would wait before having dinner with him. 3 years is a long time relationship and takes more then 3 month to heel from. good luck
2006-12-12 01:21:49 · answer #5 · answered by Lara <:(((>< 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with dinner. As long as it does not lead to something else after dinner! This could really mess with your mind. However, how long can you guys keep talking and having lunch/dinner?
Maybe it's just time to move on. I think you will be surprised. I am sure you will be asked out to dinner by someone before you know it.
Wanna have dinner Friday night? (just kidding)
Cheers!
2006-12-12 01:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by wyatt_bellis 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think its ok. Nothing wrong with having dinner with a close friends BUT to me it seems like both of you still have feelings for each other, otherwise why both of you are so scared to see each other?.
Maybe its a nice way to rekindle all the nice memories both of you have shared and perhaps a 2nd chance. Never say never as god always have his funny ways to show you the signs.
Good luck and have fun.
2006-12-12 01:19:57 · answer #7 · answered by Rosy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's your ex right? Then no, don't have dinner together, unless it's a just friends gathering or something like that. It shouldn't mean anything if you go out for just dinner. If you don't want to go back out with him or anything afterwards, don't dress up. Have fun, like you are long lost friends, but nothing else.
2006-12-12 01:21:11 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you two should go your separate ways. The chances of you getting back together if you have dinner are far higher than if you just let things go.
I wouldn't recommend it, because if feelings still remain, then things may start up again. Would you really want togo through all that pain again?
2006-12-12 01:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can handle going to dinner just as friends then by all means go for it....it will be nice to catch up. Sometimes people just dont develop those types of feelings for other people....you have to move on. good luck
2006-12-12 01:17:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this dinner will result in closure. I think that perhaps he does have some feelings for you, just not as strong as yours for him. He misses you and really would like to have you back in his life in some way but does not want the relationship that perhaps you are ready for.
2006-12-12 01:20:46 · answer #11 · answered by babydoll 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋