My son was staying with his sister. She became a christian and decided that because he wasnt a christian she booted him out of her place. The problem was that she booted him out one and half weeks before he deployed to Iraq. He stayed with her in the city so it was easier for him to go to work. I live in the country so I brought him back home with me after she did that. I am livid with my daughter for kicking him out. I could understand it if he was a problem but, not because he did not choose to become a christian. I dont want her home for Christmas because I have am so upset with her and I dont want to have it out with her ruining everyones Christmas. But her other brothers want her home for Christmas. I love her, but I am completely and totally angry with her and that he had to leave to Iraq with her being that way to him. Do I just keep my mouth shut? She has no idea how much she hurt him. He left on Sunday to Iraq for 18 months or as his paper said 527 days..
2006-12-12 01:13:17 · 34 answers · asked by Hawksflyn2u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I choose not to practice religion, however, I not think it is right for some people who claim to be "Christians" to push their beliefs on others, and ridicule them about what they do or don't believe.
Especially family.
I can understand why you're upset, and while I don't really know what to tell you to do in this situation, I do hope you get it resolved so that you and yoor family can have a wonderful holiday!
2006-12-12 01:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by *MissNic 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Now I will admit her booting him out before he deployed to Iraq wasn't very nice. However, I don't think it was because he wasn't a christian. You may not have the whole story, so yes you should talk to her (but don't wait till X-mas to do it).
On the other hand your son is a grown man, already in the Army (been through Boot camp), since he was leaving for Iraq in less then two weeks. He's old enough to join the Army, he should be old enough to take care of himself, nobody is going to baby him over in Iraq. So him and you minus well get use to him taking care of himself.
P.S: That being said you are losing one child to the service (hopefully only temporarily), don't lose a second one by picking favorites. Sure you don't like what your daughter did, but they are both grown let them solve their own problems.
P.P.S: I just read the other people's comments, and most of them (even the so called Christians) think your daughter is wrong, without even hearing her side of what happen. So please when you find out what really happen post a comment. I wish your family Luck and peace.
2006-12-12 01:57:59 · answer #2 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she did was wrong, however she is still your daughter. Let her come home for Christmas, keep the peace until after the holidays. Once everything is done, then voice your opinion. Let her know how bad she hurt you, and let her know that freedom of religion is what your son is putting his life on the line for. And if that is not "christian enough" nothing is. You son is a brave young man and putting his life on the line to help those in Iraq, thats christianity. Tell her how bad she hurt the both of you. And a "good christian" would have never have thrown her brother out because of his ways of being christian. And please tell your son,..Thank you.
2006-12-12 01:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by miki c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to have a hard time with this and I'm not sure you can or should "just let it go."
It's worth discussing with your daughter. She laid a unilateral ultimatum on someone (a loved family member at that), and you have every right to ask her to sit down and discuss this with you so she can see why you feel the way you do.
Our duty as christians is to improve our relationships - with our God, our spouses, our families and our friends. Her actions are contrary to that. Your daughter wasn't always a christian. God, through someone, showed your daughter a love that made her have a change in her heart. Her job is to turn around and show that love that is inside her so that others may also experience that change in heart. Drawing a line in the sand like she did isn't right. She was on the other side of that same line at some point in her life. She didn't jump over because someone judged her, but probably because someone showed her a better way with a better heart. Her job is to "pay it forward" and help erase such judgmental lines.
I hope this rift is temporary and that your family can reconcile.
2006-12-12 01:31:55 · answer #4 · answered by Daniel D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been my experience that when most people find religion, they often lose themselves. If anything, she should be welcoming her family; it's what God would want. If she wants her brother to become a Christian, then she should set a good example by being one herself. And kicking your family out of the house because they don't want to believe in what you believe isn't very Christian-like. I think you have every right to be angry, as this was totally uncalled for. You should tell her that when she can set a proper example of Christianity, then she will be welcome back in your home. But you shouldn't have to be uncomfortable in your own home because of what she has allowed her beliefs to do to the family. According to the Bible, whenever someone didn't know about how to become a Christian, Jesus accepted them anyway, and taught them how to become one. So, if she can't do the same, then she's not a real Christian anyway. It's okay to be a spiritual fruit, but not a religious nut.
2006-12-12 01:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by dorky_goddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When somebody from a non christian background becomes a christian they are like a reformed smoker who is disgusted at everyone else. It takes time for the new christian to learn they are not better than everyone else but rather just forgiven and accepted regardless. When she has been one for a while she will realise what she did and be very remorseful. As for you, don't let her stupidity and immature actions harden your heart to the point of becoming just as bad a parent as she was a sister. You are the mum and you need to set a good example. What would really shame her the most is if you accepted her at Christmas time and didn't make a fuss but be warned. She will likely try to evangelise you with her new found faith which will tick you off no end as it will appear hypocritical in the highest. As for your son tell him this...a man was sitting on the steps of a church and complained to Jesus that they threw him out. Jesus said I've been trying to get in myself for years...sorry it's like that sometimes but church is just people and they are all flawed. Hope this helps.
2006-12-12 01:23:58 · answer #6 · answered by Pilgrim 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with how your daughter handled things but then again it's her life and she has to live with it. I hope your son comes home safely by the way. She is your daughter though and I'd still include her in the Christmas plans with the family. Many times we might not agree with what another family member does but at the same time does that give us the right to stoop to their level? If you do have her there though I would not bring up this or you will ruin it for the whole family. It's a time to be happy and enjoy each other not a time to argue. Pick another time to discuss this with her if you wish to tell her your feelings on this matter. But in the mean time have Merry Christmas. ;o)
2006-12-12 02:01:12 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her now. Ask for her side of the story. Tell her yours. You accomplish nothing by keeping it bottled up inside. I would hope there is more to the story.
I am confused though. Your daughter became a Christian, but your family celebrates Christmas which suggests to me that your family was already Christian.
Good luck and best wishes to your son in Iraq.
2006-12-12 01:24:19 · answer #8 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Investigate. What kind of Christian is she? What church is she going to? I know of some cult - like churches where they can't cut their hair or wear makeup and many other practices.
What your daughter did was not a very "Christian" thing to do.
She has to sleep in the bed she made. She sounds very selfish.
You can confront her - on the phone before Christmas. Then if you are still upset - just keep your distance from her.
Of you can bite your tongue, which will drive you crazy.
My brother and I do not disagree on each others way of life but we do not persecute each other for it, and I would never ever kick him out unless he had done something.
Maybe he did something and they are not telling you?
Find out what is up with her.
2006-12-12 01:22:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with how you feel. That is so awful for her to do that to her own brother especially right before deploying overseas. I think you should meet with her privately and express how you feel and not do it in front of the whole family. You need this opportunity to get this off your chest. She needs to understand how selfish and uncaring she was to her brother. She needs to also write her brother and apologize for her actions because anything might happen over there and she needs to make it right. If she then wants to be stubborn and not be apologetic for her actions, then she can stay at her home for Christmas. Good Luck and Merry Christmas. My husband is in Afghanistan and I know how hard it can be on the family and the soldier. Leah
2006-12-12 01:23:06 · answer #10 · answered by Leah J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's something new, am a christian, and we are not taught to treat anyone that way...how can she call herself a christian and yet she treats her own brother that way?! She ain't a true christian herself...maybe just by name! Alright here goes, since ur her mom...u got every right to question her..but in a nice way, maybe ask her why she did that and said that the bibles teaches us to treat people good not bad...there is a verse that says, forgive thy enemies...but it seems from what u said, she is making enemies. Anyways, every story has 2 sides...did ur son did anything that makes her kicked him out? She might use "he ain't a christian" as a reason but try to find out the REAL reason from her...am sure as a family everything cld be solve...talk to her and try not to be one side till u know the whole truth. If u provoke her, she might not wanna tell u the truth at all cos she might think that ur on ur son's side and not hers and it wld be useless for her to explain....try talking and see how things goes! Hope this help...good luck!
2006-12-12 01:21:42 · answer #11 · answered by DooGie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋