iam 24 and have been with my girlfriend for 6 and half years.?

Question

the problem is i feel like i have lost the plot, she is beautiful and a real good girlfriend in most areas but i just cant get the feelings back i used to have for her, our sex life has come to a standstill,and iam not bothered, i go out all the time and get drunk and dont tell her were iam, the thing is i know she deserves better, but i think i do as well, and what makes it worse is that she lives 2 doors from my house. i just cant seem to end it, but iam in a vicous circle and i cant stop it. one day i want to be with her the newxt iam out with my mates not thinking about her. help

Answer 1

You got together when you were really young, like 18, so both of you probably missed out on a lot of the "fun" stuff out there with mates. So you may feel the tendency to catch up on the fun. Anyhow, it is not expected of you to think of her 24/7. It is absolutely normal not to think about your girlfriend or wife every minute or second of your life. I think you have become too comfortable with your relationship. Sometimes you don't know how much someone means to you until you lose them?

So what do you want in life? Are you just not ready to settle down? Are you looking for something exciting/different? Even if you are, maybe deep down you still know she is the one you want to be your wife later in the future? Seriously, consider what if you lost her, how would you feel, how would your life be. And consider all that I've said above. I know it's quite long, but I hope you don't make a hasty decision that you may regret for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

I would think after 6 1/2 years, that if she's thinking of marriage, she'll be looking for a ring this Christmas and when she doesn't get one...she'll be sad and may start looking elsewhere herself.

Let her know that you want to hang out with the guys and have some fun with your friends and that she should do the same by going out with the girls.

If she doesn't like this, let her know nicely that you need some other things in your life besides her to make you happy. Let her know you like hanging out with her too, but not all the time. With time, you can start hanging out with your firends a little more and a little more. Then one day, say in March, let her know you think of her as a friend, and nothing more then a friend...that means, no more sex. If you're not in love with her, you don't need a baby now, so be extra careful. Perhaps even stop having sex with her now or make sure you're using a condom or something to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

My suggestion is just start the ball rolling towards an open door so you can have your life back and let her get on with her life too. Wish you the best.

Answer 3

Maybe you just feel like you have to still see what else is out there. I mean you've been with her over 6 years and are only 24 now. Maybe it would be best if you took some time away from each other and see what happens. Just know you could end up losing her for good but if your not happy as it seems you are not right now then it would be better then ending up marrying her and finding out it's not what you want after the fact.

Answer 4

Wow, this question is full of red flags... are you alright? Seriously, are you mentally and emotionally alright? A lot of your post resembles the thoughts of someone with serious depression. Please, for your sake, go seek professional help -- either from a psychologist or a counselor.
As far as your relationship goes, tell her that you need a break to figure out some things in your life. You obviously don't want the relationship anymore, and therefore the kindest thing that you can do is to let her go. Once you get your life back on track, you can always look her up and see if she wants to try again, but right now I don't think that you sound like you can handle a relationship.

Answer 5

Hmmm..seems to me like you rushed into this whole thing...I mean...6 and a half years ago....17, or 18?...Ionno, I think you love her, otherwise you wouldn't have been together this long..and I think that your makes and drinking is a distraction to sorting out w/e problems you and your gf are having... I think it's time you and your gf have a break. I mean have a break together, lol. Go away somewhere hott, somewhere isolated...Somewhere where you and your gf can just be alone together...spend time doing things, like sporting activities, going for a meal, or even getting pissed one night with her, instead of your mates...Try and rekindle all your old feelings...and after all that, if you still don't have those feelings back, then it's obvious that your relationship has fazed out, and there isn't much love there anymore. In which case, I'd say go on a break from eachother...If you miss her like hell, then talk to her about it...But only try that AFTER you've tryed the rekindling thing...otherwise you may never resolve this issue... Good luck.

Answer 6

No wonder you feel like this.. the 2 of you have been together since you were children! People grow and change a LOT in those years and even more in the next 6. It's a pretty rare couple who can make it through those years together, especially since being together since such a young age. It depends on what you want & none of us can answer that. Sounds like its too comfortable to leave because then you'll have to be alone which you've not yet done in your adult life

Answer 7

You dont know what you want. Which is normal because alot of people have a hard time understanding what they really want. They think they want out of certain relationships but in the end they regret it. Alot of people, me including in a couple instances, want what they cant have. When you leave your girl, the realtionships over and you cant have her, so believe me in a time you will want her like you did in the beginning. You in the middle and torn about your new single life or your life with the girl. But its about treating your mate the way they deserve to be treated and truly loving them for who they are and staying faithful. That is committment. It you cant see yourself doing this with your girl and YOU being happy, then its over. You just have to take time and think what you really want. Its easier that way and you wont waste your time. Whatever you decide know that it will be hard changing your lifestyle

Answer 8

Depending on the society in which you were raised and the family values instilled in you through conditioning, the degree of the guilt you feel is directly linked to it. As an adult you have to re-evaluate the set of standards you were raised by and decide which are not logical and right for you and discard them and replace them with standards of conduct that work for you in this day and age. As to the age difference, 6 years is not a significant difference when both of you are adults. It will take determination and discipline on your part to get over the guilt you feel but it is your life and no one will reap the benefits or suffer the consequences but yourself. Good luck

Answer 9

Try sitting down with her and talking. Have a good, sober conversation. Talk about your feelings for each other, what you expect from your relationship, and talk about the future. Ask her how she feels about you, and see if you two can compromise on a situation. The best thing is to have open communication, rather than shutting her out and getting drunk.

Answer 10

Jesus man, sounds like you're in a bit of a " pickle ".
That's not good that she lives two doors down. That just complicates things. The only thing to do is just make a decision and stick with it. It's hard to do but you must weigh the pro's and con's and it may take some initiative on your part.
Good luck..