How do i tell if he cares, sometimes i feel like he really does care, other times like I could just be anybody in his bed? I am in love with him but don't know if there's any point in carrying on seeing him if it's going no where.. it's been 18 months we've had sex only 30 times ... bit difficult at times as i am a single mother and we now live 20 miles apart .. what do u think?!
2006-12-12 00:25:15 · 20 answers · asked by wizzpa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think it started out as mutual usery ....you developed feelings.....he didn't ....now it's a booty call....your choice but I wouldn't keep going back...spend your time looking for someone who will love you and your child....good luck
2006-12-12 00:29:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
by experience, I am sorry that I have to burst your bubble but this is going no where and you will end up hurt. It is the typical scenario of friendship and sex...
Romantic comedies on TV will show you different but life is real and cruel.
He is a man, so he is able (and this is not really his fault, his brain is like that) to have sex and no strings attached or no intention of pursuing a relationship with you or planning any romantic involvement because of the physical situation.
You are a woman, so you associate sex with relationship and if it doesn't come, then you will feel "used", frustrated and hurt.
Am I right so far ?...
So, if you want to face him and set the record straight regarding your expectations about this situation, go ahead
At least you will not waste your time and you will clear up things and know what the deal really is.
Worst case scenario : he is being honest and tell you that no, this is not what he feels like doing with you and he is happy with what is going on now and the way it is. Then you are free to get yourself out of the situation, without any fuss, just go on with your life and allow yourself to meet other guys and get a better situation for yourself and your kid....
2006-12-12 00:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Flofy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hahahaha! You had sex 30 times and you don't know? Maybe that's why you are a single mom! LOL
I am so sorry but you better grow-up. We don't know each other so it better come from me. It is gonna hurt but it might be your wake-up call. You should know that by now-if he loves you or he is just using you! Don't be too gullible. Ask him if you must and I guess after having sex for more than a year you are entitled to it.
You deserve a good man! The father of your child might have deserted you so you also owe it to her to find yourself a good one-her probale next father. Now that you are miles apart-tell him you miss him and you have to show that you care and if he does not reciprocate and just bangs you evry time he sees you THEN THINK,SISTER!!
Don't be clueless!!
2006-12-12 00:36:19 · answer #3 · answered by wolfass 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You didn't mention as to if he married or not. I'm guessing he may be. Honey, if he is, drop his *** like YESTERDAY!!!
I was very stupid. I saw a married man who I felt I was madly in love with for 16 fricking years. Initially he told me he was not married and he wasn't, but during that 16 year period, he ended up marrying his ex-wife, and never told me. Finally, I met another man who I was attracted to, and devoted all my time to him, and finally got over this rotten, married man. I ended up marrying the second guy, and am very happy.
If you have been with him for 18 months and have had sex about 30 times, and you still don't know how he feels, I can tell you right now that he had no serious intentions with you, outside of sexual relations.
I'd dump his fricking butt, and put all of my effort into going out with family and friends and having a little fun out of life, and eventually, you will meet someone who will treat you right.
Don't waste anymore time with this guy. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about!
Best of luck to you!
2006-12-12 00:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by peekie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truely want to know how much this man cares for you, then cut him off from sex. The next time you get together, try something else other than having sex. If he gets frustrated and leaves, then there is your answer. Men loves sex and so long as there is a woman willing to give it to them, they will stick around. You already know what he's like in bed, now you need to find out what's in his heart. Good luck and GOD bless.
2006-12-12 00:32:20 · answer #5 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
was he a friend in the past or did u actually meet him 18 months ago? but either way, from what u have written here it does seem like a booty call, but u should be honest with him and discuss this matter next time u will see him or u will end up nowhere and probably miss out happiness maybe with someone else...good luck hon
2006-12-12 00:35:14 · answer #6 · answered by ~ Helin ~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him if cares about you in the same way you care about him. if not move on and quit sleeping with him. as long as you let him get what he wants from you he always will. why deal with the hassle of a relationship with a single mom if you don't have to. (i see nothing wrong with being a single mom but it scares the hell out of most guys) good luck with this and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-12 00:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by hippie_chick69love 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it has been 18 months and you don't feel secure about how he feels by now, then it probably is only about sex! I knew my bf was in love with me after only a few months,there was no wondering! Either accept it for what it is or move on!
2006-12-12 00:31:55 · answer #8 · answered by kelley1031 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What? You just said that basically he's a f*** buddy and you want to know if he cares about you???? No, you are just another chick that he hooks up with. Obviously you can't handle just being a friend because you allowed yourself to have feelings for this person. He is not going to want to have a relationship with you. Just cut him loose and find a man that does.
2006-12-12 00:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by Kokolicious06 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and ask him where he is at as far as if you want to be together, together. If you don't like the way you have been treated let him know and over on.
2006-12-12 00:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by Izzy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he really cared....he would be with you. From my experience that is. I just ended a two year friendship......that included "benefits" on a as needed basis. Life is too short......Don't waste too much time with this. It is really hard to move on, but is your friendship/relationship growing or stagnant?
2006-12-12 00:36:50 · answer #11 · answered by tovatracks 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋