Who should walk me down the aisle?

Question

My father passed away and my stepfather is unable. I thought it would be good to have my daughters (12 and 5) to walk me. Then have a hand blessing ceremony and present them with their gifts first. We aren't doing a unity candle. Other then that it would be my cousin (more like my brother), a different cousin (like a father figure) or my uncle (the only one I have).

Answer 1

Your father walking you down the aisle is symbolic of your being "given away" and "given to" your new husband. This is an archaic ritual dating back to the times when dowry's were required and your "ownership" was passed from birth family to new family.

If I were in your shoes I would have your daughters walk you to your new husband, but talk to the person officiating the ceremony and ask them if they can alter the beginning of the ceremony to mention the uniting of your entire new family (your girls, husband and yourself) vs. "who gives this bride to her new husband".

Its 2006 and some of the old guard rituals have new meanings for some people.

No matter what you choose, I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful and congratulations on your new hubby!

Answer 2

Talk to your daughters and see if they have any opinions on what part they play in your wedding. At 5 and 12 being a flower girl/bridesmaid might seem more exciting/glamorous to them. If they want to walk you down the aisel let them. If not any of the other men would be appropriate. I've even seen weddings where brides had their brother and step-father walk with them, or 2 brothers. Whatever you prefer. Even your mother could walk you or be one person to walk with you. However if you are afraid of hurting someone's feelings just have your girls do it. Just remember, in this day and age you can have anyone/ any combo of people walk with you or you can walk alone. Pick whatever would make your day the most special for you. (Also don't get caught up in the giving you away part because that is a tradition from when girls were coming straight from their parents house to their husband's -- also it was the father giving his approval on the marriage. In this resepct their is no one's approval that is probably more important to you than your daughters' because he will become a part of your nuclear family)

Answer 3

Your daughters should be a part of the wedding party...have your closest male relative walk you down the aisle. Also, you really should wait to do the special ceremony and gifts until after you pronounced husband and wife...that way you are a family and they can be recognized at that point. Then, if you want, they could walk down aisle with you for the recessional. It might be a little hard fitting 4 people though, depending on the size of the church's aisle.

Answer 4

When I got married I was told when fathers aren't living sometimes the couple walks together down the aisle. If you don't want to do that why not ask your uncle.

I never saw anything horrible about the bride walking down the aisle alone, but apparently a lot of people think that
s horrible!!

I just think you and two other people would look kind of like a crowd, and since the walking down the aisle thing is that "giving you away" thing; it would seem wrong for your daughters to give you away. Hopefully, they'll remain Number 1 in your life.

Answer 5

My husband and that i did some thing like this. He replaced into waiting for me at the front of the aisle (not in a church, we had a more advantageous casual and non-classic wedding ceremony). when I got here out, he walked to the properly of the aisle to satisfy me, took my hand, and we walked down mutually. the element is although, i don't have a father in my existence. he's alive and all, yet we now not have a courting. i imagine that if I had a respectable guy for a father, i ought to have enable him walk me down the aisle if this is what he had to do. i imagine as long as your father's emotions gained't get damage, there's no damage in what you opt for to do. bypass for it!

Answer 6

I have a similar situation on my hands. My dad may not be able to walk me down and my grandpa is dead so I thought about my grandma walking with me. To me that would be fine except I want my Grandma to enjoy her place as my mom (cause she was more like a mother than a grandma).

For you, if you want your daughters to have and enjoy their place, but still be a part of festivities. Have your girls be your bridesmaids. Have them be a part of your planning and entourage, but you walk down alone to represent your passed father.

Don't just place someone in that position to fill a space. Make sure you really want them to give you away. If you really want your girls to give you away then go for it. I'm sure no one will have a problem with it.

Answer 7

I think it is a fabulous idea to have your daughters walk you down the aisle. I'm getting married in March, and I am personally having both of my parents walk me down the isle because I couldn't choose. But as I said, due to the situation you're in, I think it would be a blessing not only to yourself, but to your daughters to have them walk you down the aisle

Answer 8

Why do you need someone to walk you down? Go down the aisle solo like the diva you are. Really though, I would suggest your daughters. It will be sweet, and make them really feel part of the wedding. Besides - its not just you getting married, it's your family getting married to this guy.

Answer 9

I'm getting married in afew months and I have a dad and a step-dad and to avoid any hurt feelings I'm having my two sons walk me down the isle , It is also because I feel it is thier wedding too, it is not just me taking on a new husband but they are taking on a new dad. It would certainly make it that much more special for everyone involved.

Answer 10

I don't think you should let your daughter's do it b/c they aren't giving you away. They will still be very much apart of your life. Let the uncle do it so you don't have to choose between the 2 cousins.