Please hear me...?

Question

Please, if you don't have enough empathy to understand my problem, either don't answer it or if you do answer it don't answer with no empathy. I am 18 years old, and I come from a wonderful family. Yet I have isolated myself from them. They don't understand me. Unfortunately, I feel I have depression. As a young boy, I didn't really socialize in High school. I moved from Iran Sophmore year. Did not have many friends because my English wasn't well. It took me 2 years to learn the god damn English language. After going through ruff times, I finally adapted myself to the American society. Problems: I am a shy boy, I hide in my shell of sorrow. Yet I have a heart worth more than jewlery. How do I find someone to share my tresure with? There are times when I get signals of interest from women I like, yet I am too big of a coward to act . I haven't officially recieved a notice from doctor that I have depression but I think I do. What do you think? If I do, how do I solve my problem?

Answer 1

hey, your worrying too much. babe at 18 i think alot of people don't understand you. its a pretty hard time in your life, and some people forget what it felt like to be 18. it will get easier, just remember they will always love you even when they don't understand you.
women like men with confidence. i think you would get more interest from women if you weren't so shy as you say. i too am quiet shy but have realised that its not really that hard to say hi and start a conversation with someone. people like friendly people. I'm still shy on the inside but i put on a "act" of confidence and after a while you start to feel it.
and you sound like a nice guy so don't feel like that.
if you are depressed your doctor will know and let you know how to deal with it. hope i was of some help.

Answer 2

First sounds like you are lonely. Congratulations on learning one of the hardest languages in the world.

Being shy and lonely does not mean you are depressed there is a whole check list for that not so fun problem. I would find a physciatrist make an appointment. If you have no insurance and you are in the us there are programs in almost every state that you can get low cost mental health services. I would not go to a regular dr if you really think you are depressed. a phys dr knows more about the disorders. And if they agree they can tell you which route you need to go.

If not depression you need to get in a social group and make few aquaintances you are so young.

Answer 3

Hi Buddy , Firstly , I truly sympathise with your problem , I am 32 and when I was your age , - even younger , I face the lonely world alone like you , always self concious abt myself or that someone might laugh at me . . .or whatever - like you , my heart
reached out to whoever in need , like you I isolated myself from the world always blaming myself and thinking something was wrong with me , the few that knew me wondered why I was like that - shy and secluded -
one question - why are you bitter towards your parents ? U said because they dont "understand U ?
Sometimes , I cant help but think , it is our own weaknesses that we find someone or somewhere to dump on - perhaps we are not clear enough with people or families , cause I dont know abt U , But I could never express myself to anyone - let alone my family - WHY ? because I was shy , I was a closed up person that many misunderstood me as a proud and unfriendly person
and like you _ I silently suffered inside me - I often cried alone
not letting my feelings out -or confiding with anyone .
Please dont hope to be diagonised as a depressed person
YES U ARE DEPRESSED BUT U CAN TAKE CHARGE OF YOURSELF IF U ONLY GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE -

I hope this short note of mine shall bring some comfort to U
and I hope U shall not think and feel bitter abt yourself or anyone
, NO I AM NOT SAYING THAT U ARE OK < or normal ,
I AM NOT < but somehow , I keep going thru life-
taking one day at a time doing the best i can , for who i can , with who i can -

AS I AM DOING RIGHT NOW WITH U _ PLSE TAKE DOWN MY E_MAIL ADDRESS and I hope U can contact me on e-mail - i am quite sure i can share my experiences which are similar to yours
and i would like to boost your confidence - although i am much
older , and male - but i know i can help u in many ways .
Take care of yourself
Mike - e-mail address >> [e-mail]
HOPE TO HEAR SOON

Answer 4

but do you understand yourself then?
why do you describe yourself as shy (anti social even?) when you seem to yearn to have more friends?

why are you depressed? why do you feel depressed? and why do you isolate yourself from your family? these are just some questions you need to answer for yourself i guess..
i do not think it is difficult to find friends..or even a girlfriend..(sorry i may be off here because im not american or live there so i do not know if the area or community you live in is not as 'usual' as mine)
friends: just open up, say hello, a smile even and that helps to break the ice.. go to places you enjoy eg. the arcade..lan gaming shops, clubs or librarys..from my experiance.. places that you enjoy going to are most likely where you can find friends who have the same interest as you..
gals of interest: i have to say guys have it easier..because in my society it is normal for a guy to go after a gal..if she rejects then take it as a battle scar and move on til you find one who finds interest in you.. (for me a gal..it is difficult to make a move on guys because unfortunately the asian [well my society at least] society thinks it weird and desperate of women to make the first move)

first thing you have to do is think about what you want..why you feel those feelings in the first place..talk it out with a friend, family member, doctor or hey even a chat room buddy.. when you sorted out ur feelings you will feel much better..

hope it works out for you..good luck

Answer 5

Write poems, have blog to express your self, channel your feelings somewhere.

And then, even if u dont have many friends, u can always go out with the ones you have or family members. Enjoy your hobby... Or, you can also pick up new skills/hobby, like enroll in language class or dance class, activities that will ensure u to meet new people.

I think it will also help that you dont put a tag of your down feelings as "depress". I mean it is healthy to admit feeling down, and when its serious to get professional help. But i also think that being obsess with diagnosing things and predicament as this and that and in your case "depress" doesnt help. :)

Answer 6

you could consult a psychiatrist to further assess you. before you are diagnosed with depression, there are symptoms or a criteria you have to satisfy like depressed mood most of the day, marked diminished interest or pleasure, significant weight loss (>5% of weight in a month), decrease or increase in appetite, insomnia or excessive sleeping, fatigue, feelings or worthlessness or excessive guilt, poor concentration or recurrent thoughts of death. if you satisfy 5 or more of these symptoms within a 2 week period, you might have depression. but of course these symptoms should not be due to drugs or other illnesses. the doctor might prescribe you a medication, an antidepressant and give you psychotherapy.

Answer 7

Which is worse.... being scared and alone, or rejected? I think your depression is caused by your fear of rejection. Forget it!!!!! Just make a move, the worst that could happen is you get turned down. Big deal, rejection is a part of life. If you ever want to get anywhere you have to learn to take a chance.

Answer 8

You need to be just who you are...some day the right girl will find you and adore you for just the man you are....don't be depressed about it, accept it as your personality..you could take some courses in school to get your confidence up, acting, speech giving etc...some agressive type girl is going to just love you to death some day...and she will come along...beleive me, i have a brother just the same way...and he has not hurt for beautiful girlfriends...God Bless

Answer 9

Hi..first of all I think you should try and reconnect with your family.Then if I felt the need,I would seek counseling.After that I would try and remember that EVERYONE has a fear of acceptance.We are all afraid of being alone and of someone we like not liking us back.Remember that when a girl gets up the nerve to show interest that she is also afraid of being rejected.You are not alone.

Answer 10

You should see a good psychiatrist, a few sessions will solve your problem.