Whats your Definition of Heaven and Hell?
Here is mine:
In Heaven: the Germans are the mechanics, the English are the police, the French are the cooks, the Swiss run the government and the Italians are the lovers.
In Hell: The Germans are the police, the French run the government, the Swiss are the lovers, the Italians are the mechanics and the English are the cooks!
Anyone else have religious joke to share? Preferably no swearing.
10 points to best return joke.
Blessings,
David
2006-12-11 20:26:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
heaven is when u have a germen car chinese food american salary and an indian wife and hell is when the car is chinese food is germen indian salary and an american wife
2006-12-11 20:38:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
10
2006-12-12 06:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sonu G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
English, Germans, French, Swiss a religion? What a JOKE
2006-12-12 04:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by efyusikay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Cardinal of the Church dies and goes to Heaven. An angel is giving him the the grand tour and a soul goes by draped in gold trimmed pure white robe with cheribim throwing rose pedals in his path as he ascends the gold inlayed white marble steps to his massive white marble mansion. The Cardinal asks the angel who that is and the angel says, "Oh, he's a lawyer.". The Cardinal thinks, "Wow, if that is what a lawyer gets, I can imagine what I, a Cardinal of the Church, will get". They continue on the tour and enter a huge building with a 200 foot high arched enterance way and the hall equally as impressive stretches forever. After walking for miles down the hall they take a left into another hall with 100 ft. high ceilings and walk again, coming to another turn into a hall with 50 ft. ceilings. this goes on an on with each turn the hall becomes smaller and narrower until finally they are going down a hall so narrow they have to walk single file and duck into doorways to let others pass. They come to a rough hewn wooden door, the angel opens it and inside there is a small straw cot, a basin and pitcher and a small window that looks out over nothing special. The angel says, "This is where you will reside for eternity in Heaven.". The Cardinal is totally taken aback by this and blusters out, "I'm a Cardinal of the Church and THIS is all I get, why did the lawyer get so much?" The angel says, " Cardinals are a dime a dozen, he's the only lawyer we've got here.".
2006-12-12 21:44:23 · answer #4 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well for 2points, i'll tell ya, i don't think it's a good joke, what does religion have to do with it anyway? plus in heaven, why would we even need mechanics or police or cooks or government or even lovers, what with the angle wings for transportation, no machinery to break down, no police, it's God's way or the highway. cooks, we would all have the capability to feed ourselves, and don't even get me started on government in heaven. i will concede you the italian lovers though! and no swearing. except on the bible. teehee!
2006-12-12 04:34:39 · answer #5 · answered by iwondersoiask 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw the improper way to tell this one on answers, but here is the right way to tell it. Up at the gates of heaven, Saint Peter has to go to the bathroom so he turns to Jesus and says will you take over for me. He says sure what do I do. He says all you have to do is ask the people who come up what did you do for a living and did you have any children. Jesus says I can do that. An old man comes up to him and he asks him, What did you do for a living? I was a carpenter. Jesus says, Really?? You were a carpenter, Yes he replied. Did you have any children, Jesus asks. I had a son but he died. Tell me about your son, Jesus said. The old man said he had holes in his hands and his feet. Jesus said, Wha wait a minute, You were a carpenter, You had a son but he died, and he had holes in his hands and his feet, Yes he replied. Then Jesus throws his arms open wide and says, Daaaaad! The old man throws open his arms and says Pinocchioooo!
2006-12-12 04:47:25 · answer #6 · answered by zeroartmac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong when the Italians are the mechanics? What abt Ferrari?
2006-12-12 04:32:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Put her in an altar boy's robes.
2006-12-12 04:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by Sir Digby Chicken Bhuna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After your tirade on another topic about religion, doesn't this make you a hypocrite as well as a racist?
2006-12-12 04:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is greater than god, eviler the the devil, the rich need it, the poor have it and if you eat it you will die.
Nothing
2006-12-12 05:37:41 · answer #10 · answered by Hawk474 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋