will joint custody be that hard on a child if the parents don't get along?

Question

Last monday my ex gave birth, next wendseday i find out if he's a hundred precent mine. i think he;s mine i jst have to be sure. i canlt help raise him always looking sat him wondering if he is mine. she won;t let me see him now even though she convinced he's mine, and at the present time i want to visit. She mad at me for the paternity test. I know that inorder to see him i need court orders, and i will not be a part time father but we don;t get along, so i think joint is the best route, but i;m not sure how hard it will be on michael (his name, he was born 7 pounds five ounces)

Answer 1

I was in the very same shoes your in and 22 years of having no respect for my ex, I have learned a few things about this issue. here's my advise to you. first, you need to and have the right to find out if the child is yours or not. Second, unless your condemned as a pedophile, you have the right to have a relationship with your child. Have the court set up visitation if needed and you can have CPS (child protective services) get involved and supervise pick up times. you do not have to get along with your EX to have your child in your life but never put her down to you child, NEVER! mine was a lying, cheating, drug addict whore who slept with most everyone in town but never once did I put her down to my boy's or let them hear me put her down. this is for your benefit, not hers and will gain you respect as a man and a father in the eye's of the court and more important, your child. Also, DON'T ever let her mix support with visitation, it's not the same and doesn't have anything to do with you spending time with your child. She has no legal or moral right to keep your child from you so don't let her even go there.Pay your support and love your child is all you should have to do.

Answer 2

I don't blame any father for wanting a paternity test. Have you seen those girls on Maury? They have no heavenly clue who the dad is! I am glad you want to be a part of your sons life. Most new moms are emotional and protective of their new baby. Give her some time to wise up. The last thing either of you want is the courts all in your business. The parents fighting is the reason children get hurt. Promise yourself not to fight with her or in front of the child. Then, that's when you get courts involved. She can't keep you away. She may not see it now, But a responsible father is a blessing. Your son needs you too. It will all work out. You remain the peace maker and she will end up looking dumb and eventually stop acting up and execpt the situation for what it is. Good luck!

Answer 3

No, I do not believe it will be hard on the child, he is young and would not really KNOW,; however he would be able to feel the tension between the parents and may fuss for a bit until he feels the air calmer again, just to let you know. For the sake of the child though, just do not reciprocate her attitude, I know a lot of Mothers who are this way towards their ex and it really is not fair. Most of them do deserve it but there are some, like you, who do not. So when she starts in, just calmly tell her "Not in front of Micheal, I would like him to make his own decision about both of us" saying this in a quiet voice, that is loving and stern (hopefully) will get her just to accept the fact that you two are no longer together but you two will always have this bond, not to mention it makes you the better person.

Answer 4

When the baby is tiny he needs to be with Mom much more than Dad (if you're split up) because that's the way nature works. You might just have to start out with visits and work up to joint custody when he is older and feels comfortable being away form Mom. It's not something you can train them to get used to. babies biologically are programmed to want Mommy in the first year more than Daddy... especially if she'll be nursing. Hopefully you guys can work it out so that you can get along. You have a kid together... or ... um... might have a kid together ... and you need to put his best interests before your hurt feelings/pride/ego, etc.

Answer 5

Being that there isn't any order in position on the instantaneous and he takes the first steps to having one instated, he has an excellent possibility. it truly is way a lot less annoying to create an order than it truly is to revise one. Joint custody isn't out of the question. he will be regarded favorable upon for taking the first step in having a custody contract ordered. the in problem-free words element that would stand contained in the way is that for the previous 9 years the mummy has been the well-known caregiver. except that, courts have began to change into extra open minded related to joint criminal and actual custody because they're starting up to comprehend that in a healthful surroundings the youngsters can earnings from having both dad and mom round.

Answer 6

oook Congrats on the baby. Since he is young. it wont be as hard.My nephew's parents arent together and havent been since he was like 5 months old he goes to"dads" for a while then back to mommy.He is perfectly fine with it.He shouldnt have any problem.

Answer 7

Yes, its going to be hard on the baby, but definitly worth it. You want to be a part of your childs life, and he is going to want to be apart of yours. She is not the one that is going to make the decision on if you get to see him or not, the court will. I reccomend getting a lawyer as soon as possible. Congrats, and I hope the baby is yours.

Answer 8

If he is your congratulations. If he is yours try to take a special role in his life! It will beeasier for him to have a father that does not get along with his mother than no father at all. If u didnt wat to see her you could arrange someone like your parents or close friend to pick him up and drop him off etc!

Good luck!