HELP: My girlfriend wants to get an abortion !!!?

Question

My girlfriend got pregnant after we had sex 3 weeks ago, we are guessing the condom broke because we were using one. And well anyway she said she wants to get an abortion because she says she dosen't have time for any children right now :( But I really do not want her to get rid of the baby, I told her I will do anything but she says she probably will get an abortion.

Does anyone know how I can stop her from getting an abortion ?

Other details:
-She is 22 (In her last year of college)
-I am 24 (I have finished college and have a great job)
-We have been together for 4 years
-We live together
-I told her I will pay for everything the baby needs (clothes, diapers, food, daycare, ect.), I even said I would marry her because I love her and really don't want her to kill are child :(

Answer 1

This is really tough. I am against abortion and this story is breaking my heart. I suggest getting some material and showing her that abortion is "killing" a life, and that life is y'alls child. Y'all are not teenagers and I would suggest if she could possibly not keep the child, which does not seem to be the case, then she should give it up for adoption. There are plenty of couples out there who cannot have a child and are waiting to adopt. Is she religious at ALL?? You can tell her that the child is apart of God's plan and that it is indeed a life and it is God's child. However, YOU are the father of the child and she has put you in a horrible and very unfair situation. You should have a say in this too and you need to dry your damned best to get her to change her mind. Also, maybe she can speak to family/friends about it. You seem to be financially secure in supporting a family and you seem like you would be an absolutely WONDERFUL father. God bless you and I'll pray for y'all and I wish you and your family the best.

Answer 2

I would say that even though you are the father you are not in possession of the womb. That being said, I think it would be unwise to try to force her to do something she is not ready to do.

If you really love her; be supportive of her decision whatever it is. It seems to me, that on some level you and her do not have the same moral values. This does not make either of you a better or worse person, just different.

Two persons with such divergent beliefs may have difficulty making a life long commitment to each other. Paying for a child is nothing like "raising a child". It takes more than money and things to raise a child. It takes work.

Perhaps she is unwilling to have a child with you because you equate having a child with the financial obligation not the physical and emotional commitment that is also required.

For example--are you the one that is going to be carrying a parasite in your body for 40 weeks? Are you going to have morning sickness, gain weight, get stretch marks, get swollen feet, painfully swollen and itchy breasts, etc...etc...

Are you willing to get up 3 or 4 times a night? For the next 18 years?! Who will watch the child when both parents have to work late? Who will obtain child care, change diapers, bathe the child, clean up the puke and other bodily expectorations?

Money does not equal parenting. Get a clue.

Answer 3

For crying out loud you have a difficult time using words correctly and assume that a child will be a blessing . You had better wake up a smell the coffee boy if you have been together 4 years and are not married why ? Get yourself together first from the way you are talking I can already see what she is thinking ! Am I sure he is going to grow-up and be a good father or am I going to be stuck raising his kid by myself ? Am I going to miss getting my degree because he won't be able to buckle down and help me get through this ? Listen bub a kid is NOT a pet turtle they are a LOT of work and not always a joy ! What are you going to do on the nights when he crys ALL night say honey shut him up I have to go to work tomorrow ? She will need a LOT of help because she will have to go to CLASS tomorrow so think about these things and all the others and then ask yourself are you READY to handle the responsibility of this child ? then sit down with her and talk it over LIKE ADULTS !!!!

Answer 4

Been in that situation twice. You have an option with the courts if you want to pursue that route, but you just kill the relationship. Its really hard to convince a female about the importance of life once they have made their mind up. If she feels so strongly you might want to find out what the real problem is. Remember you can't come at her with a bunch of boring facts and statistics. If this is the women you want to be married to and spend the rest of your life with than really sit down with her and have a heart to heart. If you come at her like a raging bull she will turn away from you more and more than you will lose forever.

Good luck

Answer 5

All you can do is tell her that you would rather she not have an abortion and CALMLY tell her your feelings on the subject. I am pro-choice and think it's really her decision in the long run. She's the one that will have to give up her time and energy to being pregnant. And I don't blame her for not wanting children when she's in her last year of college. Be aware of her feelings, not just your own.

Answer 6

first you need to understand the that choice is her's and her's alone.

Think about it from her end. Would you want to do something as importand as have a baby just because someone else wanted you to. ?

How do you think your relationship is going to be after you try and MAKE her have the baby.

How do you think she will feel towards that baby after it is born.? You may think once she sees it she will fall in love with it but you might be wrong.

Do you think she is going to want to stay with you if she does not want the baby and you do and you say you will raise it and pay for it.? Do you think she will want to stay around you and the baby.?

Its a ruff thing thing to have to go through but in the end it is something she is going to have to choice the finale answer.

There are counslers out there that will talk to you about this. Maybe you should find one. It will help..

Answer 7

I don't really think there is much you can do about this except to let her feel at ease about whatever she decides to do... She is really scared right now and knows the reality of early motherhood.. I know that you might think it's all peaches and cream but it's really not.. I can understand how she feels and best thing for you to do is to respect her own decision on it, chances are if you back off and let her know that you'll be with her no matter what and love her through whatever she decides, most likely she will decide to keep the baby.. she needs to know that you love her no matter what and you need to not push on that one..

Answer 8

it is not always that woman believe what men says because we have this negative side about men hat everytime they say soemthing they are probably lying to us. i think your girlfriend is still confused about the matter and that she is serious about the abortion, i suggest that you ask her why she doesnt want to keep the baby, i am sure she has a damn good reason for that.listen to here her out, her fears, her worries and stuff like that but please dont give up on her and continue supporting her like you are doing, i am proud of you because in most cases men are the ones who are always suggesting abortions at all times. good luck my friend and please marry her i am sure she loves you too

Answer 9

u can go tell her that u want the baby, and what if his baby is a really pretty one.
U should tell her don't kill a life let it live. And tell her u love her and u really want a kid in your life and is time we have a family. And if she say waht if this and that. U should say i will take care about everything. Tell her the baby will be safe and heathy and tell her this might be the only baby u guys might have and maybe in the feature u guys might not be able to have kids.

Answer 10

It's her choice. The man puts 2 minutes into a pregnancy while the woman has to put in 9 months.