I'm an educated, talented young woman who has found herself seeing a woman.I feel guilty about it because I was raised in the church, yet I have found myself at a point in my life where I want to enjoy and explore sex without the condesending voice in the back of my mind telling me "You know better". I'm involved with a woman due to many factors like lonliness, wanting to express myself sexually and not feel guilty about it, and to undo the years of being made to feel sex and enjoying sex was a hush-hush or negative thing, particularly if you're not married. I'm tired of living by someone else's rules and opinions, yet that little voice of convictions hangs out in the back of my mind and I try hard to ignore it and the guilty feelings. why should I feel guilty about wanting to explore sex and ENJOY SEX? I feel i am battling with myself over this. i fear my family finding out about my girlfriend but they dont know of the lonliness i've experienced nor how deep it flowed.
2006-12-11 18:33:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
get a boyfriend to explore with the two of you. He'll be so happy you won;t have time to feel guilty, you'll feel like the most loving caring person in the world
2006-12-11 18:37:08 · answer #1 · answered by Foss 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It is really hard to deprogram yourself after so many years of people pushing the same negative/dirty/bad images of sex on you. Also society is not the best at helping people feel free to change those opinions either.
I applaud you for trying to address your lonliness and figure out the root of what is causing it. I dont believe there is anything wrong with exploring your sexuality and getting to know exactly what you like and dont like. After all you never knew you liked or disliked pizza until you tried it. Futhering yourself is a healthy process of figuring out who you are. Just because you are trying something now doesnt mean that this will always be you. There are thousands of people that enjoy sex and have accepted this fact about themselves. If that wasnt so the Adult industry wouldnt be doing as well as it is.
With all this said I would caution you to explore with SAFETY. Unlike trying food where the worst possible thing you can have in an allergic reaction. Sex and sexual partners carry harsher side effects like STDs. I think your choice of a girlfriend and someone you can commit to that can help you through your exploration is a fantastic one. Make sure she knows what you are going through and if your feelings or needs change make sure you are honest with her about them.
Lastly, remember it took YEARS for your parents/church/society to program you with your negative view of sex and exploration. Don't expect to change that all in one night or even a few months. Change, postive and productive change is done at a very slow process and a long devotion to seeing something throw to its end.
Take life's bumps/fears one at a time and only when you get to them. There is no need to borrow problems. Right now is the time to work on you and remember to enjoy your experiences. The memories will last you your entire lifetime. :)
2006-12-11 19:02:48 · answer #2 · answered by Frenchie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a women I know the fun you can have with the same sex. You have more in common and please each other more on an understanding level. If you feel comfortable in your own skin then your family will just have to learn to live with it. You have to be happy in life. You are the only one that can decide that. I once heard someone say,"You have to love and like your self because when it's all said and done you are the only one that has to live with your self at the end of each day." If your happy then they should be happy for you too. Maybe the guilt your feeling is coming from you finaly being happy and you don't know how to act? Sometime we are too hard on our selves. We can be our worst critic. Just let yourself be happy and you will see things for you will relax.
2006-12-11 18:55:27 · answer #3 · answered by Connie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who you choose to make love to is totally up to you.
Why should you feel guilty?If you are in love with a woman and she reciprocates the same feelings I dont see any issue worth guilt here.
wanting to enjoy or explore sex is natural.Theres nothing unnatural about that.As long as your not forcing your feelings on someone else its absolutely fine.
As for your family finding out about it...
well...there are some choices in life that we must learn to make for ourselves.We just cant allow anyone to make them for us.Your family will just have to understand how you feel.It may take time and patience but they will eventually understand you and your relationship.
And anyway,a lesbian relationship is a relationship like any other.A majority of people no longer look down upon it.
As I said your family will take time but will come along.
God bless you.
2006-12-11 18:44:23 · answer #4 · answered by Isha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first ask yourself why you feel guilty? Do you feel you are offending God? You have made a choice and as an adult you should know how to deal with it. I feel lonely too, and that doesn't mean I will go look for other woman, and I know it's tempting to explore something different. If your conscious is making you feel guilty means you are not really convinced of what you are doing is right.
2006-12-11 18:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by Alma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let your family dictate your love life; you are the one dating her, not them. Everyone deserves happiness, and it is great that you are finding yours.
I'm not particularly religious, so I can't give you any advice on that regard, but if you are really uncomfortable with your sexuality you might want to consider talking with a therapist. Another way, possibly, would be to read some erotica. And if you look on the internet, there is actually a ton of it, so you wouldn't have to stand in a check out line or anything with it. Try doing a search for femmeslash.
2006-12-11 18:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by Jes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good girl and I can understand where your coming from on this.. I was brought up in a baptist bible thumping home... I finally got it over with and told my mother that I was bi sexual but for a long time I hid that away because to her and everyone else it was wrong.. to me in the beginning I felt very ashamed and hated myself for the way I felt and thought that there was something wrong with me.. I learned later on though that it was ok for me to love who ever I wanted and I no longer feel ashamed about liking woman.. my mother doesn't agree with how I live my life but that's just to bad, It's my life and not hers to live and until she's living my life she can just accept all of me or none of me... I wish you all the best with this and to know that you are not alone :) :) :)
2006-12-11 19:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
POINT BLANK: do what feels good to you. Of course ppl on here are going to be like no no its a sin, but who cares what anybody thinks or does. At the end of the day you have to live and answer to yourself. So who gives a crap what ppl think!!! I say even if the church or ppl say its a sin no one is perfect. I beleive in god but i dont beleive in churches. All that crap about killing in the name of god, or molesting ppl...all of it is done by MAN, not god. So do what feels true to u! And even if it turns out your straight at least you tried and u can be true to yourself.
2006-12-11 18:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's between to consenting adults go for it at first some friends and family won't understand but if the friends don't then they weren't friends in the first place. family will always
love you but it might take them a little time to like you again p s we got something in commen i like women to lol lol lol perk up at least you found love
2006-12-11 18:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by wayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are many things to feel guilty about on this earth ,in fact like 80% of what we do...don't waist your life worrying..enjoy
2006-12-11 18:38:01 · answer #10 · answered by Shiden 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋