I feel like even the best ones I think are amazing end up taking advantage of my niceness.....Its really pissing me off. Am I doing something wrong? is it bad to expect someone to ask atleast how I am doing, or whats up? when i listen to their lifes pathetic stories. GRRR...really pissed off right now.
2006-12-11 18:22:40 · 19 answers · asked by Dead Birds Don't Poop 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Don't try to teach a pig to sing; it won't sing & it only annoys the pig. Got it? Someone suggested talking to him, however, he isn't really going to change. Sometimes when people express their discontent, the other will make a gesture or two, & then go right back to who they were. If it isn't his nature to care about you, look for someone who will. The only thing you may be doing "wrong" is listening too much. This makes it so much easier for the other person to neglect YOUR feelings. Please don't be "pissed"--it's a waste of your time. There are some wonderful, sensitive guys out there--be open to them instead of growling about someone who isn't worth it. Some people tend to "latch" onto sounding boards. No one can take advantage of you if you don't let them. If all you do is "...listen to their life's pathetic stories," there's not much left for them to be interested in YOU. It's great to be nice, but also be selective; mutuality is the operative word. Good luck & I believe you can get past this faster than you're thinking now!
2006-12-11 19:05:40 · answer #1 · answered by Valac Gypsy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well everyone is somewhat selfish, I mean when you get up in the morning whats the first thing you think? I'm hungry, I'm tired, I gotta use the rest room, brush my teeth etc... I think the question is will every guy take advantage of someone who they could. Well personally I never take advantage of anyone even though some people just plain out ask for it. But I would say most guys would. So the problem may be you leave yourself open before
you really, really know a guy. Try finding a guy that really likes you for you and not for sex, money etc... Try refusing to sleep with him until YOU feel ready, then wait a long time and if hes still with you he probably will be for a long time. Don't say stuff like, "Its up to you", "You decide", "Whatever you want to do". Stuff like that puts the guy in control and most guys date a girl honestly just to get in her pants and most even have thought out plans. Try being more assertive and not giving him an opportunity to take advantage until your SURE he won't or unless you want him to.
Hope I helped some
and good luck with love.
2006-12-12 03:03:57 · answer #2 · answered by Joshua 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are all men selfish? Are you really expecting a "yes" answer?
Clearly you're doing something wrong if ALL the men you interact with take advantage of you. No, not all men are selfish. Yes, many men are completely devoted to their girlfriends and take an interest in their lives. And yes, many men out there find the greatest joy in seeing their lovers smile and happy.
And a lot of women see guys like this as boring.
Can't tell you if you're in that group or not, but I guarantee if your choices are yourself or the entire male gender, it's most probable you should look within.
2006-12-12 03:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by ZenPenguin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No not all men are selfish, But being in a relationship is a two way street there has to be give and take on both sides to much the relationship work. May be you just have not found the right guy for you. but don't give up i know someone will be out there for you. May God bless you, and keep you safe this Christmas and all year thought Merry Christmas
2006-12-12 02:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by jan d 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've had a bad run of "takers". I doesn't necessarily mean that you're doing anything wrong, and you should definitely expect your friend to care about you and your feelings. Have you talked with him about this - your feeling that this relationship is one sided? If this person is a good friend or companion he will make an effort to change. If not, perhaps your next choice in men will be better. :) Good Luck!
2006-12-12 02:35:44 · answer #5 · answered by Tin Man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, every one is not selfish. The people you described are just too absorbed in their own miseries to pay attention to people and things around them. And they feel the need to find a sympathetic ear, that's you. Because they are so wrapped up with their own miseries, they failed to ask how you were doing. If their stories are too much for you to bear, try to make excuses to cut them short, so you won't have to hear their stories out. I think I can relate to how you feel. We all want to be with cheerful people, so we can be cheerful. I hope you can cheer up and don't be disappointed in humans. OK?
2006-12-12 08:23:07 · answer #6 · answered by danielle s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To some extent, I think men and women can all be selfish at times, some a little more than others.
2006-12-12 06:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by mirmade13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For dear Christians, 2 Tim 3 has been fullfilled. Praise the Lord.
2006-12-12 02:31:34 · answer #8 · answered by heartspiritdivine 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not all men are selfish. I have been married to a man for many years who has surrounded me with unconditional love. I have no doubt that he would lay down his life for me as I would him. Find some other places to look for nice men. No, it is not bad to wish men would be genuinely interested in your welfare.
2006-12-12 02:29:25 · answer #9 · answered by jom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I honestly found i had the wrong taste in men.
I really couldn't pick the right ones. and i didn't like the ones that were chasing me.
So one day i gave in..
The guy I'm with ... i really never thought i would..
But the kindness and genuine behavior.. has really blown me away.
So sometimes look outside the box.
2006-12-12 02:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by A Lady Dragon 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋