Dealing with a break up?

Question

Hi, I'm 15 years old and on Sunday night my boyfriend of 14 months broke up with me. We had been through a rough patch and things weren't the way they used to be, but I thought they were getting better.
However, he dumped me because he felt that I gave up on him even though I didn't. I just said that maybe he'd be happier with someone else who has more self confidence, and he took it the wrong way.
We were 'the couple' at school and everyone expected us to get married and have kids etc. So now they're all shocked and its hard enough for me to carry on without this added pressure.
I feel so upset, lonely, and disappointed. I feel empty. I can only think of him, and I need a way to recover from this relationship,because even though I love him very much, I can't cope with all this pain.
Please help
P.S. - I know I'm only young and there's plenty more fish in the sea etc etc, but we were in love.

Answer 1

First, let us address the more fish in the sea. That phrase will only depress you, simply because all fish stink :) So lets try something that works. I know it is very painful and difficult to deal with, try to write your feelings down and then take a synopsis of then and talk to him about them. If he's willing to talk about just feel your way through it. If he responds negatively then you will have to move on. However, it is not easy to move on and the only thing that helps is time. The best way for me to deal with a break up is to not watch romance movies or listen to love songs a great deal. Focus on school and make sure you tell your friends nothing but positive things about your old relationship. This will prevent an abundence of gossip and will allow you to get better faster. For example when someone asks what happened, simply tell them you and he just decided to go seperate ways and what ever you do try not to say anything negative about him to anyone. Even though you may feel negative keep it to yourself it just keeps the gossip ball rolling. Take it one day at a time. Everyday you wake up and every night before you sleep look in the mirror and tell yourself today is better than yesterday (even though) some days won't feel like it). And finally, make sure you're nice to yourself, not the usual binge eating or smoking,drinking or drugs, but of course non of that is happening because you are 15, these things only make it worse any way. Take yourself to a movie, begin a new excercise program. Any way just make sure you love yourself, no really I mean it! Love yourself because if you don't no one will. Guys are completely turned off by girls that appear to be self conscious or who have low self-esteem and since EVERY WOMAN DOES you just have to get better and better at faking it. I'm not kidding and you have to keep it up even through marriage. I know it sucks but that's the way it is. There is an upside and a downside to breaking up. The downside is this won't be the last and the upside is you just get better and better at it!!!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

If it's real love don't worry about it. As the saying goes, if you love someone let them go, if they come back to you it was meant to be, and if he does not theres more fish in the sea. When a relationship ends it's hard to get over something that you feel ended so badly. But all is not lost, just give it time. If you don't get back together, then it probably wasn't meant to be. Just spend more time with your friends or hobbies. If you take your mind off of your ex you won't feel so lonely or empty. I hope this helps.

Answer 4

You are really young, that maybe this is for the best. Trust me on this... Ignore people at school, because what the hell do they know? Look forward to being able to do an go wherever you want, whenever... to flirting with whoever... having more time for friends, school, hobbies, etc.....

Do not look at this as a bad thing, instead a great opportunity.

Answer 5

You're young, but you're also smart, and insightful.

I like that.

I also remember how all those lame 'fish in the sea' things sounded... and how they did nothing to help me with the pain I was feeling.

To me it felt like I couldn't go on, I had to have her back... and it hurt... I remember feeling that I couldn't cope with it as well.

All I can tell you is that it will get better... it will take time, but gradually the pain fades... and we move on...

I am sorry that you're hurting though - wish I could offer something better to ease the pain for you...

With sympathy,

-dh

Answer 6

Anytime you get dumped you deal with all the pain of the breakup. But you are young. I say, just take one day at a time. Maybe you could try to talk to him, about how you feel.

Answer 7

the pain will subside eventually. i was dumped out of the blue by my gf of five years. we were actually engaged, and planning to get married in a couple years. then she decided my family wasn't wealthy enough. trust me, the pain will go away. time is the only thing that will heal the wounds.

Answer 8

I understand how you feel, and love can be felt by all ages. You know the truth is... you will never be able to love someone until you love yourself. With that being said, you probably don't feel like he could be happy with you because you aren't happy with yourself. Learn to love yourself, be your best friend, and love yourself, and soon things will be better. good luck

Answer 9

Its time only that can help. If it isnt meant to be, then it isnt meant to be. sorry if this does not help. my relationship just ended too and there is nothing to do but I like to try and no think about it. Go out and do stuff with friends.

Answer 10

FUC* him if he cant handle the stuff that was going on you shouldnt be wiht him. ive been goign out with my girl for over two years im 8 hours from her and things have been extremely rough when you find the one who trully means something this will work out.