my girlfriend and i have been together for 13 months and we have lived together for 6 months. we both go to a university and are both 20 years old. i agree that its young to be living together. she now tells me she wants to move out and get her own place. her reasons are that she wants privacy and wants to make our relationship for meaningful when we see each other. she also claims she wants to be more indepedent and live with a couple girls in an apartment. i'm a little jealous and upset quite frankly because i love living with her and love having her around. i'm very nice to her and take great care of her like paying her rent etc.... does this mean that she wants to move out and then push me away from her? ie break up? is this normal? am i too young to be living my girlfriend?
2006-12-11 17:37:06 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I am kind of going through the same thing. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now, and we have been living together for about 4 months. EVERYTHING changed after we moved in together. It's not fun anymore. We dont' date anymore. He doesn't get excited to see me anymore. I actually just suggested we get separate places. I don't want to be with him anymore. If this is what living together is like, then this is what married life is going to be like with him, and I don't want it. He doesn't make me happy anymore. He never wants to do anything but sit on his backside and sleep. I'm bored to death!! I want excitement and it all went missing when we moved in together. You sound like you have been very good to this girl, and honestly, if my boyfriend would have kept me happy, a change of address would have done nothing for me. I would have been able to be happy in my own life and still be happy with him. Then again, i am 23 and he is 26. Maybe your girlfriend just wants to experience certain things while she's still young and before she lives the "married life." Her feelings might not be faltering. Just give her her space. Give her her freedom and allow her to make that move if that is what she wants. If she comes back to you, than awesome!! Then you were the guy who let her make her own decisions and supported what she wanted for herself. MAJOR cool points there. Also, if she doesn't come back and ends up breaking things off, then you let go someone who didn't really want you and that leaves room for someone who will give you everything that you want to give to them. You don't want someone who doesn't want to be with you in your life. It is detrimental to your self-esteem. Trust me. Good luck, and give her her freedom. If she comes back, you know it's true. If she doesn't, then it never was, but you'll never get anywhere with her by not allowing her to have the personal experiences she wants to have as a young person. I wish you the best!
2006-12-13 01:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by Stacey 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just went thru kinda the same thing. Im 19 and hes 23 we were together a year and a half when i moved in with him. Things were great at first but i didnt know that after a while he was startin to have 2nd thoughts about it all, rather then talk to me about he kept it all inside and now we r over :(
If she wants to move out you cant stop her. You never know it could well save your relationship and make it even stronger.
2006-12-11 17:45:51 · answer #2 · answered by Onie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off i would have to say yes, it was probably to early to start living with each other but it doesnt look like it hurt your relationship so thats a good thing to see from that
and no, i dont think shes trying to get you out of her life or leave you, but you know sometimes you want to be with your friends and other times with your boyfriend/girlfriend and that you need to balance those two out
plus right now would be the right time in your life to be either living with friends or your family. this doesnt mean you dont love each other, sometimes its good to take things slow and experience life as much as possible. meaning spending more time with friends now because you two will have the rest of your lives together, and when people get married and have kids, its mostly just them and their wife/husband from then on out, and right now is the time in your life where friends are pretty big in life because after this you all start to get married and have less time to hang out and do the stuff you would do when you were young and just with friends
i say let her move in with some girl friends of hers and you try and move in w/ friends of yours or back to your familys house, either way is good
she just wants to take the relationship slow it seems, and thats a very good thing
nothings wrong here with any of this, theres no need for you to worry, it seems like things are going really good actually when you look at it
2006-12-11 17:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by 63godtoh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes let her move out, it's healthier for the relationship. Don't think about the moving in thing again unless you all are engaged. It makes for less of a hassle if things do not work out.
P.S. - Age does not have anything to do with it. 30, 40, and 50 year olds find out they can't live with each other as well.
2006-12-11 17:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by Majestic One 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the issue isn't YOU being too young to live with a girl, maybe she is just too young and immature to live with a guy. To me, it seems really obvious that she is too young because she wants to get another place with some girls. Maybe she didn't have all the freedom that she needed being a 20 year old girl. I guess you will find out soon though.... good luck!
2006-12-11 17:41:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't neccessarily mean she wants to break up with you. Maybe she just felt like she wanted to experience what most college students do, live with a few friends and have some fun before settling down. Talk to her about it more, from what you say it doesn't sound as though she wants to break up. Maybe she intends it to benefit your relationship more.
I am a sociology major and couples who cohabitate before marriage tend to divorce more often, so perhaps she is feeling like things moved a little too fast and wants to take a step backwards. If you feel like you coul marry her one day you might consider this and potentially have a fantastic marriage later on because of it
2006-12-11 17:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by edgehead4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's happening between you and your girlfrind right now is a sign of immaturity..see it's better for both of you to enjoy your youth first before living in or staying together so you could have no regrets later on. you're too young to be staying together.set first your priorities then after you're done with your university get a job and go get married or live together.
2006-12-11 17:43:46 · answer #7 · answered by warrior is a child 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know the old saying "if you love something, set it free......" its better to find out now than after wasting years in a relationship where one of you may end up resenting the other. give her a little space and see what happens - and remember, everything happens for a reason. maybe there's someone else dying to get to know you better and this could be your chance.
2006-12-11 17:42:07 · answer #8 · answered by sag.grrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probably just needs her space. Give her time and love her no matter what her decision is. In the end, she will love you for letting her make her own decisions. If she wants to break up then let her go. If it is meant to be she will come back
2006-12-11 17:42:11 · answer #9 · answered by Stephie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were being to good to her. women don't like that. you have to push them away every once in a while or they will just leave. when they get their way all the time (it sounds like you were making it that way!), women get bored and look for something more challenging. she is using the "i want to live on my own" excuse to move out and then break up.
2006-12-11 17:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by Michael JB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋