my mother was my dads mistres he had 3 boys with his wife and 2 kids with my mother.he left befor i was born and never herd from him untill i was 22 when he wanted to play daddy i told him to kiss my azz.he didnt want us befor so why now.he told my mom when i was born tht i wasnt his because i was a girl some family members told me i was wrong to keep him my life.but i look at it this if we didnt meen any thing to him befor why should i let him in now
2006-12-11 17:30:40 · 14 answers · asked by x 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He wasn't a father, he was a sperm donor. He's a stranger to you, and I don't blame you one bit for shutting the door on him.
2006-12-11 17:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you have some desire to talk to him, or you wouldn't have posted this question....
Do not listen to your family members, as only you can make this decision. Do what you feel is best. I think... that you may regret this one day, because you may be missing out on a wonderful relationship. Also remember, that you are probably hearing about your father second hand from some possibly bitter sources (I know 2 people who have had bad experiences with their dad's based on their mother's "faulty" memories. Trust me, not pretty).
Give him a chance, but do not forget who was there for you all of those years, your mother. Also, let him know that he needs to earn your respect, and that everything will not be all perfect at the beginning because you are still angry.
2006-12-12 01:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by shaclare 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "tharnporf". He definately sounds like he was a prick before with what he did but we all do go through changes, some easier than others. I say give him another shot to step up to the plate because he may now be in a position where he can be a great father/friend to you. If for nothing more than to get to know him as he is half of you. I'm very sorry about what happenned but that's in the past and maybe he's changed. Give it a shot.
2006-12-12 01:51:59 · answer #3 · answered by Greg M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its never too late to forgive...
"So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." Luke 15:20
Holding a grudge will not help you get over this situation. Im not excusing your father from the things he has done in your life but perhaps he is sorry for those things and it is time to forgive him and start letting him in your life again. Who knows, it might blossom into a meaningful relationship. But you'll never find out unless you forgive.
2006-12-12 01:39:07 · answer #4 · answered by Tru Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one side of the coin. Decision should be taken from hearing from your father too because you are not aware of the situation when he left. Sometimes circumstances compel us to take hard steps. We must find out who was guilty and then decide. Law says it's better to free a suspect under benefit of doubt than to punish an innocent.
2006-12-12 02:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I understand that you are pissed off at your father, I think it wrong of you to not give him a chance to right his wrong.
I am adopted and will never even meet my biological father. From that perpective i feel that you are passing up an opportunity,and should consider the fact that you only have one biological father. We don't chose our parents, all we can do is make the best with what we have.
2006-12-12 01:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is short Lindsay. He had some life stuff to get through and needed time/& to mature. He's your dad and you might just give him a chance. What the Hell? I say give him a shot. You don't know both sides of the story.
He is half of your genes. Be open.
2006-12-12 01:36:31 · answer #7 · answered by tharnpfeffa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him how you feel don t disrespect him like that have a nice conversation tell him that how you know that you my father, what happen with you and mommy that you don t want to be in my life no more. The point is you have to talk to him first to find out why he didn t want around you to watch you grow and other things that bothering you. I understand how you feel but i think he will feel upset to. That would be my advice to you.
2006-12-12 01:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by KILLAH CAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. He was wrong for having an affair and then not living up to the responsibilities it created. If he wanted to pretend you weren't his until it was convenient for him, then he has to live with the consequences of his actions. If you truly do not want to have him in your life, then don't. I will admit, I would probably do the same thing in your place.
2006-12-12 01:37:03 · answer #9 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your point of view. If you don't have a burning desire to spend time with him life without him will be perfectly fine. Besides, do you want to have someone with a history like his in your life? I think life is complicated enough without inviting trouble.
2006-12-12 01:33:44 · answer #10 · answered by Rabble Rouser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋